Gwyneth Paltrow Puts Her Ass on Some Cereal

Man, I Never Get to the Store on Time

To be honest, I really hate going to the grocery store. Finding a parking space, constantly forgetting something on the list, and the biggest problem: Never being at the store when Gwyneth Paltrow has her ass against boxes of cereal.  

Walking through the aisles, doing my best to avoid other people and other carts can get really annoying, but I have this strange feeling that if I saw Gwyneth Paltrow in a tight dress filling her cart with cereal, I’d probably be totally okay with waiting to get my Lucky Charms. Though, I have to admit I would find it odd that Gwyneth Paltrow would be shopping at a regular, run of the mill chain grocery store because I know she only eats things that don’t cast a shadow or something. Maybe she likes to go out and have a good time at grocery stores, like it’s her nightclub - she just goes to her local chain food store, dressed sexier than hell to dance, smile, and just have a good time. Hey, Gwyneth Paltrow has done some stranger things, so this wouldn’t surprise me at all.  

You know, I was really hoping to make some kind 15-items-or-less express lane joke about Gwyneth Paltrow and her cleavage, but I just can’t think of anything. Oh well, guess it’ll just have – wait, I got it! Clean up on aisle 9, thanks sexy Gwyneth Paltrow!  

Photos via Harper’s Bazaar  

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