The most notable highlight of the week was clearly Uncle D's Smother Me. Reviewer Don Houston found the title amongst a treasure trove of solid offerings from various companies, including a few highly anticipated titles he'll be reviewing over the next week from Evil Angel.
One of the complaints Don has relayed to us is that a lot of companies are under the impression that providing increasingly extreme circus act sex is the path to better ratings, more awards, and higher sales. Is it any wonder that large numbers of potential consumers pass on modern porn or simply download it off the internet for free when faced with such an onslaught of copycat productions? Well, he told us about a title that not only didn't jump the shark sexually but also seemed to be an homage to the talents of a legend in the porn industry, John "Buttman"
Stagliano, called Smother Me by an independent director/website owner called Uncle D, a man referred to up north as the Canadian equivalent of to the beloved Buttman. Is it any wonder that the head of the Evil Angel Empire picked up the title to distribute under his own label when the focal point of the movie was showcasing some large, well rounded, and fairly undiscovered rumps?
Smother Me was an interesting look at a guy being called "The Canadian Ass Man"
getting to play with a splendid selection of well rounded rumps in his little studio. If you're looking for some bump & grind like you'd get at a good strip club, this will probably appeal to you more than the ultra hardcore sex most gonzo porn offers these days. The tease to please attitude Uncle D offered up was refreshing and well worth my time, lending it a lot of strokable replay value so I rated it as Recommended. If given some encouragement to flesh out his presentation, Uncle D could truly become a solid alternative to the ever increasing nature of gross out gonzo as his eye for ass rivaled many of the more established forces in the field. Still, keep in mind that the movie had almost no penetrative sex (outside of the bonus footage) so while it is a Buttman Magazine Choice offering, and also worthy enough to stand out in a very crowded field to me, some fans demand lots of poking in the porn and will not appreciate this one as much by comparison.
Evil Angel is no stranger to offering ass fans lots of Canadian
Beaver and it seems only fitting that that they chose to distribute what will hopefully become a long line of tease offerings from the talented Uncle D. The fact that he shows an affinity for the kind of ass play and teasing that really gets fans off without resorting to the hardcore booty bumping most gonzo porn showcases these days, pulling it off like a seasoned porn veteran, showed Don that porn could have a lot of the fun factor and still maintain the strokability consumers demand of their porn picks. It will hopefully become the start of a trend where the specific sex acts become secondary to the stroke factor, with Evil Angel leading the way. There have been other titles on the market that have pushed the envelop substantially in recent years, most notably the Digital Playground releases in the Jack's
Playground and its various spin off series (where you never know exactly what a performer is going to do; be it tease, masturbate, or engage in full fledged anal sex without a condom), providing us hope that where these two leaders go, others will follow. In any case, Smother Me has tremendous amounts of ass tease that fans are going to appreciate more than a little bit, marking it as a positive feather in the cap of those taking a chance on a talented newcomer.
Misconceptions About Good Ratings
In past editions of The Blue Room, we've discussed different aspects of how we give particular ratings to titles we review. This week, it seemed appropriate to address some of the misconceptions some of you have about good ratings since more than a few of you, production companies included, have the wrong idea about certain factors that are considered when we review titles. Most of these tips come from reviewer Don Houston but all have been discussed amongst our porn-loving staff in the recent past and they should help to serve as some guidelines for those wanting to know more:
Currently, a lot of fans do not like seeing condoms in their porn.
They've made it clear that they want to know which titles use them and which do not in order to make their buying choices. As a consumer driven resource of information, X Critic acknowledges this trait and we stress to our reviewers that telling fans about condoms is very important since it is a make it or break it deal for so many of them. Currently, the only mainstream company that requires the use of condoms is Wicked
Pictures as others have gone to various degrees of condom-optional programs. Some of our reviewers hate them just as much as many of you and others remain neutral but as a general rule, it is clearly not the case that simply using condoms lowers a rating of a title, as evidenced by ratings of such wonderfully heated flicks like Creme Brulee, Eternity:
Collector's Set, and What's A Girl Gotta Do. Other companies like Vivid
and Digital
Playground have been condom intensive in the past and their ratings haven't suffered as a result, though the former has just started the optional policy and the latter rarely uses them these days. Still, the condoms themselves do not impact ratings like some of you believe they have, nor should they (it's a health issue) unless a title is advertised as not using them (we strongly advocate a truth in advertising stance as a means of protecting our readers from marketing hype).
Next up is the reported reliance on marketing hype in general that a few of you believe we succumb to. We try our best to review all titles with an open mind, free from the influence of what other sources say. If the majority of other review websites and industry sources praise a particular title, it may just well be that the title is a solid pick, as was the case of the acclaimed Pirates. On the other hand, a movie like Wonderland
might receive a lot of praise from an industry desperately trying to convince a few of you that "conceptual" or "high art" porn is as strokable as the latest Jules Jordan gonzo epic, but simply quoting Shakespeare from time to time isn't going to impress our discerning reviewers who actually watch their porn. We've praised a number of "pretty porn" titles, porn that shoots for concept instead of how many different twists a title can offer (look at this week's spotlight pick as an example), and porn that we get better than other places have displayed but never misunderstand that all the hype in the world isn't going to sway our team to favor a title that lacks merit. We call them like we see them regardless of industry pressure that seems all too influential, reminding ourselves that we serve the consumer first, last and always. This doesn't mean you'll always agree with our assessments but we try to provide some rational for our ratings rather than prop up weaker titles pushed down our throats.
This leads to a related topic on the numbers we assign a title. Never forget that the body of the review is where you'll find out why a DVD was rated as it was. Some industry insiders think any rating less than four stars is somehow destined for the bargain bin when nothing could be further from the truth. The nature of porn is that most of it is crap, disposable crap at that, with the sole purpose of entertaining you for a time or two before you bring it back to the rental store or file it away forever. Each reviewer addresses the numerical ratings as they see fit but our guidelines are the same; to steer readers to porn they might enjoy. After you've read enough of our reviews, you'll get a feel for how critical some of us can be or how lenient others might be for certain genres but the concepts don't waiver. When I rated Pussy Party 15 as a three star Recommended, it was to provide a general guideline that the movie had a lot of fine qualities and replay value but wasn't Cousin Stevie's best lesbian outing to date. AVN and all the other sources of reviews have their own scale so please don't compare tits to asses by suggesting one rating scale should influence the other.
Most porn is rented and lacks the staying power to get a higher rating, no matter what a director espouses online, a performer tells you in an interview, or some fan suggests it is worth but as the most personal of entertainment genres, rely on the text of the review over the number of stars it gets for determining how suitable a movie is for your own pleasure.
Another misconception is that a movie has to have a particular performer featured in order to get a good rating. Typical names that pop up in such conversations (and presented in no particular order) are:
Jenna
Jameson,
Lanny
Barby,
Jesse
Jane,
Tera
Patrick, and Katja
Kassin. Each of these fine ladies has a substantial following of loyal fans, based on a wide variety of factors like sex appeal, physical attractiveness, sexual skill, and outright talent. That doesn't mean they get a free ride when it comes to ratings but they have proven themselves to have a star quality that certainly has a tendency to impact ratings of any project they are associated with. Like the other members of the staff, I try to make sure the reader is aware of my tastes so you can adjust the ratings accordingly but the review database is full of scores of titles that are rated higher than some of the titles these gals have been in. It's no surprise that most of the ladies listed (and they are only a representative sampling) have been picked up under contract as they each have the kind of appeal that generates interest even in those consumers that aren't porn aficionados but even a quick reading of the reviews they are in will remind you of their appeal.
A major misconception is that only gonzo titles get high ratings, especially from me. This is another case when people are comparing two disparate genres but it is common sense that most gonzo porn is easy to shoot properly, cuts to the chase better and provides the prime ingredients for the reason we pick up a porno in the first place. Porn is entertainment that almost all of us use to jerk off to. The other day, a male performer criticized reviewers for "not getting it" in regards to a specific title. The response I would have to him would be that he was right; the title didn't consistently allow me to get an erection. It really is that simple folks; if a consumer can't get off to a porno, all the window dressing isn't going to matter. The analogy I use is that you can shine a piece of shit all you like but it will still be a piece of shit. This doesn't mean that the high end, or even medium level features are a waste of time (though a lot of consumers seem to think so) but it means you need to cover all the sexual bases first (make it strokable for whatever audience you are trying to sell to) and then all the rest is icing on the cake. The review staff appreciates those companies that make extra effort to provide something more than a stroke flick but the sex should be the first, second, and last consideration lest you be labeled as pretentious, out of touch, or some other adjective you aren't going to like. If your main goal is winning awards instead of giving consumers what they want, at least tell this fact to the world since a pissed off consumer is your worst enemy.
Well, that wraps up the rant of the week with an examination of some misconceptions we face as reviewers. I can't state strongly enough that we review with the consumers in mind above all else and this fact will never change. We don't think our opinions are the be all, end all of discussion on porn but given the spotty quality of what the porn industry attempts to sell on a daily basis, we wanted to clear some things up. We're not comparing the latest porn titles to huge budget mainstream Oscar winners and we understand that the tastes of individuals vary more than a little bit but as consumer advocates, we try to balance the fun porn can offer with the quality consumers appreciate. Production companies that take the advice to heart and work on improving their releases will find that the ratings reflect their efforts more often than not, not only here but all over the internet so the ball is in your collective courts to do a better job and show us that you listen.
Highlights of The Week
Reviewer Don
Houston has certainly been a big fan of talented director Kevin Moore in recent months and Stick It In My Face! #4 proved to be the latest masterpiece worthy of note by the man. Saying it "was as solid a selection of blowjobs and tease as I've seen in a very long (and hard) time. The women were very physically appealing, their skills were top notch in all cases (some better than usual too), and the amount of suck for the buck well worth exploring if you're into this type of movie. The extras were also good and the replay value provided by Kevin Moore and his company earned a rating of Highly Recommended. I guess you can say that Stick It In My Face! #4 was a delight to watch and offered up some incredible stroke value with just enough variation in the scenes that you'll be keeping busy for a very long time." It didn't hurt that the movie had ten scenes with two ladies of particular merit (Tiffany Mynx and Courtney
Cummz) but there were a number of other solid scenes offered up too.
"What the Hell is Pink Ink?"
asked The
Mooninite in his recent review of the title, answering his own question with: "Why, it's a fine collection of five fuck scenes, each of which stars a pretty girl who just so happens to have some tattoos â€" more so than just the little ones we're used to seeing, like tribal armbands or a rose on the teet, lame stuff like that. Most of these girls have some /real/ tattoos, and it's nice to see the art form celebrated within the world of porn. A lot of guys out there dig a girl with a bit of skin art, this reviewer included, so for all of us this makes for a nice alternative and it provides over two hours of, as you'll hear about shortly, pretty hot sex. It is a nice collection of five hot, tattooed girls getting fucked. It's really that simple and it works surprisingly well, especially if a girl with ink happens to be one of your particular kinks." If you like skin art as much as he does, the title seems like one worth picking up if you come across it in your travels.
It was pointed out that "Hardcore D.P. showed that director Martin Del Toro has made the fit at his new home quite nicely. The title had plenty of fuck for the buck, stuck with a proven formula, and did not deviate from offering up a wonderful array of hardcore gals that actively engaged the cocks in front of them. It wasn't as long a show as others and didn't have as solid a selection of extras but it was still worthy of a Highly Recommended rating for sticking to the basics and giving raincoaters exactly what they wanted. If you prefer watching men on men, couples porn, or another fetish; by all means pass this one up but it earned the rating for providing what was expected in such a manner that the replay factor was off the hook." If all porn were so truthfully advertised, reviews such as those provided by our staff would be far less important but we're not holding our collective breath waiting for that day to come along either.
Mistress
Liss discussed life outside the foam wrestling ring in her review of The Perfect Date, saying: "Poor Frank got a divorce from his wife 13 years ago, and let's just say his sex life got a divorce too. His good friend tries to help him get back in the dating game. Frank and his friend have differing views about what the Perfect Date is though. This was a really cute movie, and I think that this is a good one for popping in the DVD Player after putting the kids to bed and finding that "alone"
time with your partner. I think that both males and females will like this one." With a cast consisting of Eva Angelina, Missy Monroe, Haley Paige, Dillan Lauren, Harmony, Manuel Ferrara, Jerry, Steven St. Croix, and Matt Bixel, there appeared to be something for everyone.
Jana Cova made a surprise appearance in Peek: Diary of a Voyeur; a showcase effort by Sophia Santi; "the latest contract sensation from Digital
Playground; a company known far and wide for offering up some great ladies in porn. Her previous porn name was Natalia Cruze and she made a couple of weak efforts before catching the eye of the talent scouts signing hotties so after providing some excellent publicity earlier this year at the 2006 AEE Show, the former Penthouse Pet of the Year started actively releasing movies. Her second showcase effort is Peek: Diary of a Voyeur, where she has lesbian and solo action as assisted by some very appealing performers, with the stylish efforts of Celeste in the director's seat. There were no vocals to accompany the slow motion and artistic leanings of the movie's eight scenes (Sophia was in five of them), relying on visual appeal and the interesting musical pieces to provide aural support. It was the very best vignette release to date by the incredibly sexy Sophia Santi.
As far as rating it goes, this is tricky since it sometimes left me cold but taken in smaller doses provided enough fuel for the fire for me to get a gal pal to sit through it without hitting me. If you like the stylish direction of Celeste, this will be a no-brainer in terms of the kind of erotica many people look for these days (but find little exists thanks to the circus act sex focused on by the masses) but if you're not into the look offered, you'll think my rating of Recommended will be too generous."
Fans of attractive ladies getting themselves off without the assistance of parolees have probably noticed that our team of crack reviewers have long appreciated the Soloerotica
series by Ninn Worx. The idea of a series where the women masturbate for the camera is as trendsetting as the way this week's spotlight pick, Smoother Me, was so good without having much sex to go with the tease. The latest volume of the series is Soloerotica 8 where The
Mooninite said it: "is a little better than the earlier entries thanks to the casting and to the cinematography, all of which are a step above what has come before â€" in short, it's top-notch stuff. Everything is lit with enough softness to really enhance the girls as they perform for the camera uninterrupted and the editing, the camera work, and the variations in sets, wardrobe and in the girls themselves gives this compilation a great deal of heat and as such, a great deal of replay value."
Another series found almost universally to be a winner by a number of our reviewers has been Cousin
Stevie's Pussy Party; where each volume is a series of contests between a plethora of pussy seeking to win big cash bonuses by outdoing their peers. Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party 15: Unwrapped continues the grand tradition with "a celebration of a very special birthday party; that of Flower Tucci.
The format for the contest seemed almost tossed out the window and that was a shame since the concept is viable, even if past volumes were uneven in the way they were presented." While Flower Tucci was definitely the gal in the spotlight throughout the movie, Don Houston pointed out how excellent Rita Faltoyano and Sunny Lane were during their glorious moments, each contributing some heat and chemistry to the mix.
Jizz Junkies offered up a look at a title where Don told us: "John Strong was one of the nicest folks I met during the 2006 AEE Show, spending some time to bring me up to speed on what his plans were for the year and introducing me to Kylie Ireland. He made a lot of salient points about the state of gonzo porn and I look forward to seeing his movies as they come out such as his latest flick, Jizz
Junkies. The cover put it like this: "See these voracious spunk swallowing sluts with mouth full of cock sauce indulging in a swallow-fest. Deep throat blow jobs, Hardcore Ass Fucking and Double Penetrations abound." In a world were marketing hype seems to rule, I can honestly say that the advertised action was all present in large amounts, even if some of the ladies were so new to hardcore porn that they weren't ready for all that John and his squad of followers could dish out. Still, that adds the newbie flavor to the mix, enhancing the action in many cases for those of you unwilling to sit through the thousandth scene of the same gal doing the same thing and coming across like she was on the clock. It had three primary reasons for me to pick up the DVD: the performances by Naomi and Gianna
being the first two and the direction/swordsmanship of studly John Strong being the third. He didn't try to get artistic and pretentious, he didn't try to wow you with special effects or a cast of established ladies that've done it all before; no, he relied on a straightforward presentation of hardcore sex with a nice assortment of women taking all kinds of cock as advertised. The amount of fuck for the buck was enhanced by some solid extras and I think many of you (especially those of you into newer performers) will like this one even more than I did with my rating of Recommended. Check it out and I think you'll understand why some of the best directing talent in porn tries to be unassuming and let the sex do the talking rather than fancy press releases or promotions."
X Critic has long been recognized as one of the sole websites where titles from Vivid
were given a fair, but honest, shake and Mistress Liss saw fit to appreciate After Midnight by saying: "Just like the Eric Clapton song states, "After Midnight, We gonna let it all hang out". These Vivid stars do exactly that and then some. This was a fun movie to watch because Tommy did such a great job acting confused at what was going on. The look on his face a few times made me laugh. It just goes to show that you never know who you're going to meet late at night in a big city, although I've yet to catch a cab with Monique or Tommy. (**snicker** Maybe I need to get out more) I recommend this one for all you guys and dolls. Oh, and by the way, I loved the beautiful bustier that Barbara wore in the first scene."
Liss then saw fit to recommend Sandy: Agent Provocateur, an offering from Spice Studios that showcased Zanett Egerhazi, by saying: "Sandy sets out to find sexy future stars to be in adult films. Go Zanett! I do enjoy scenes (either during the movie or
BTS) where the stars talk about themselves and their preferences. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it was photographed as if it were an amateur film, like the film ends when the screen says "Low Battery". Other than that, I thought it was a fun movie and maybe I should become an Agent Provocateur myself. **snicker**"
Don liked Sin City's release of Sodom 2: The Bottom Feeder; pointing out: "Jim Powers is one of those directors that tries very hard to combine stylish elements in his hardcore pornography. How this works out is still just as dependant on the casting as anyone else in the field but at least he tries for something different. His latest flick is Sodom 2: The Bottom Feeder, a story about a gal played by Hannah Harper (not Tory Lane as the cover would lead you to believe), who is driven to the depths of depravity after she encounters a hitchhiker on the road one evening. The boxcover said: Anal Hell awaits eight nasty sluts who soon will descend into the darkest depths of sexual depravity imaginable. The story of Sodom continues as these filthy ass whores are subjected to the most outrageous anal abuse ever witnessed in scenes that stretch even the wildest imagination, pummeling their once tight assholes into wide open gapes, stuffing their pussies and mouths with miles of rock hard cock until they howl and scream like untamed animals.
No mercy... only raw, uncontrolled anal debauchery, the likes of which can only live in the twisted minds of the truly perverted. It offered up a lot of heated sex and the advertised depravity by a talented cast. There was a lot of fuck for the buck and the two disc set provided some solid replay value although the movie itself had some substantial flaws. In all, it was worth a rating of Recommended for the way it showcased the ladies, provided a wealth of sexual twists, and seemed to be shot with some level of care to the movie. I tend to appreciate Jim's manner of shooting his titles with the ultimate consumer in mind more than reviewers though the budgetary concerns probably played a role in why this one seemed to have some loose ends in need of fixing. Still, fans of the cast might consider this one a must have depending on how much of a slavering fanboy you are towards the gals."
We end this week's look at the highest rated titles with a glance at Black Vice; an homage to law enforcement everywhere by saying: "You do the crime…you do the time (of having one of these sexy black cops pound your holes)" "Bad Girls, Bad Girls...You Know Whatcha Gotta Do…To Make The Vice Cops Cum On You". I think all of the ladies out there will agree that powerful men are a turn on. If they happen to have a huge fucking cock, then it's even better. I recommend this one for all of you that love to see huge black cock in tiny white pussies."
Adult Toy Reviews: Two Toys, Twice The Fun
If you've been following our expanded coverage of sex toys, you'll know that we don't pull punches and we cover the most diverse range of devices allowable by law. There is a lot of junk on the market but also a number of toys that regular people might not have encountered so we thoroughly bed test all of them in hopes of directing readers to the kind of play toys that might help you trip your trigger most effectively. Today's column offers a look at two devices that might just help you get off with or assist your partner in some multi-orgasmic fun in this fun-filled look at the 3
Way Vibrating Cockring and the Serenity
Pocket Pussy.
One of the wonders about sexual novelties is how they can add not only newfound pleasure to your own life (using them strictly as masturbatory
devices) but also the lives of those nearest and dearest to you. Such was the case with the Adam & Eve 3 Way Vibrating Cyberskin Cock Ring and Ball Harness I picked up recently. The device makes use of a small but powerful vibrator that installs into the base of the unit that rests above your penis. You stick your cock through the middle opening and the idea is that it will bump the vibrator against your lady's clitoris, rendering her speechless in delight. The back cover said this:
"Silky-sort Cyberskin cockring hugs the base of you're penis for harder erections, and longer lasting sexual performance. Stretchy testicle strap wraps around you're balls for a more powerful orgasm.
Strategically placed pleasure nubs hit her hottest spots! Wireless, multi-speed micro-mini vibrations provide ultimate stimulation for both partners. Micro Mini Vibe uses 3 "AG13" cell Batteries, 6 Batteries included!"
Okay, I was ready to roll when I found my semi-erect stiffy to be having a tough time wrapping the cyberskin device around my cock. It's designed to be a tight fit and a little lube helped but I strongly recommend you trim your hairs or you'll see why this one rating pretty highly on the BDSM scale for my first usage. All kidding aside, I pointed out that perhaps I needed to use the larger opening at the bottom of the toy when she laughed in that way women have, saying that I needed to read the package more carefully. That's when I saw the part about it also being a ball harness. Now whoever thought up the idea of tightly wrapping your balls up in a device was almost certainly a pissed off women because the mere idea of manhandling my babies into that tiny opening was almost too much to bear. I had visions of losing my ability to have children, the pain of squeezing such massive body parts into such a small hole, and it took some serious convincing for me to try it out (needless to say, it involved lots of bribery on her part).
The texture of the device itself was really spongy and I had my doubts that it wouldn't tear until she literally wrapped it around her skull like a bandana and gave me a lecture about childbirth (something about a watermelon going through a hole made for grapes if I recall correctly).
So with much care and only one ball crunching slip (that I still think was on purpose), I was fully outfitted to give her some hardcore fun.
The vibrator had a sliding switch that was easy to access and I was surprised at how little I actually felt of it when fully moved over to the highest setting. The effects on Ms Humble (my partner for the testing from a nearby city) were very much in evidence; making me understand why she wanted the toy so properly fitted and ready for her.
She was dripping wet in no time and the repeated banging of the vibrator part against her really hit home for her as she pulled me in to slowly work my cock as deep as it would go. She's no debutante when it comes to penetration but she's not designed for huge cock either, so it was funny watching her maneuver to get more than ever before inside her. As the recipient of the attention, I was most appreciative too. Her comments about the vibrator were that it felt like a pocket rocket but was more compact and we never did finish the batteries out after a week of trying. The other bonus to the 3 Way Vibrating Cyberskin Cock Ring and Ball Harness was how it kept me going strong, never needing to take a breather in order to keep from popping (well, technically, we used fewer such breaks). My dick was numbed by the vibrator and my balls were held in check by the cyberskin, causing me to last substantially longer than normal, especially with a sex starved gal pulling me in tight and deep to get off on.
The 3 Way Vibrating Cyberskin Cock Ring and Ball Harness was also easy to clean and the additional batteries were much appreciated though the little warning almost went unnoticed about only using the toy for 30 minutes at a time, giving it arrest for an hour between uses, and being careful not to fall asleep with it on. Apparently, the fact that it stops circulation to your genitals is a bad thing when used a lot so try it with care and I think you'll understand why such a simple device is no a stable at the Houston household.
Las Vegas Novelties is the company formed by former Wicked
Pictures contract star Serenity in order to provide better sex toys than currently existed on the market at the time. She devoted lots of hours to making her dream come true and eventually sold the company to another excellent manufacturer, Pipedreams, last year. The summation of this corporate merger was the literal best of both worlds, since each provided toys the other didn't have, with Pipedreams upgrading their newly acquired product in the process. Today's review is of one of the simpler toys from the Serenity line, the Pocket Pussy.
My limited experience with fake pussies has shown me that they can be helpful at relieving the kinds of day to day stress you acquire when your girlfriend, wife, or bed buddy is unavailable. Most products fall into two categories; the very cheap and the very expensive with little middle ground to speak of. In this case, the Pocket Pussy is on the lower end of the economic scale, with no vibrators included or claims that the device was molded from the hallowed halls of Serenity's
crotch but it looked worth a shot and I liked the packaging as it provided enough pictures of the lovely contract hotty to inspire a fan like me into action. My first impression of the device itself was markedly different than that of the Lexi
Pocket Pussy, in that this one was far more compact and shaped to look like a real pussy. The device advertised that it was Latex Free and contained none of the nasty, potentially cancer causing Pthalates, though not divulging the trade secret ingredients behind the material used to make the toy called Fanta-Flesh.
Those in the know probably remember that Serenity never did anal and was rumored to be exceptionally tight when it came to that desirable pussy of hers so it should come as no surprise that her Pocket Pussy was very tight on my modest member. It included a virtual hymen in the shape of a thin membrane that you pop upon first drilling it and the free sample of lube came in handy as I started working my way into the device. Like most such devices, there were rubber nubs along the edges of the inside to further stimulate your cock and it wasn't long before I rubbed out my first load. While it wasn't much like a live pussy, I was once again pleased to announce that no buying of dinners, flowers, or candy as well as putting up with the myriad of other headaches was required to dump my load satisfactorily.
Wanting a complete review, I played with the device a few times afterwards over the last couple of weeks. The Pocket Pussy came through several times and my only caveat was to make sure you use good lube, not the cheap stuff. Once the ultra slick stuff that came with the device ran out, I used some bargain basement lube and in the process, tore my now beloved toy to the point where it was rendered all but ineffectual in my eyes (or should I say hands?). I had done the same thing with the larger
Lexi Pocket Pussy but again maintain that I'm only of average length and perhaps a little big on the width side of life. Still, the feeling was fine while it lasted and while it wasn't truly built to last, we had our fun before I moved on to the next toy. In summation, the Pocket Pussy was good for a few cheap laughs and was more portable than other toys, though I'd be hesitant to carry one around in my pocket with me.
We'd love to read your comments and feedback on this column, Send us
your thoughts on other things you'd like to see in the space, or even
random thoughts about the world of porn. Drop us a line at [email protected].
The major contributors to The Blue Room this week were: Don Houston and
Christopher
Thorne.
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