Jean Laconia’s Third Time

By now you know the premium placed on novelty in the porn industry, and nothing is more beautiful (at least in terms of a QuickBooks entry) than the first time a starlet is captured in flagrante on camera. And though we have found that young Jean Laconia told three separate directors on three different days that the scene she shot for them was her first, we realized that we don't care; Let her say that. Maybe it's her thing. Maybe the next big fetish will be Girls Who Say It's Their First Time But It Really Isn't. We'd watch Jean Laconia restock our Sparkletts cups.

Vivid's "Brand New Faces" series prides itself on finding people who are absolutely porn virgins, and director B. Skow several times asks Laconia if she is, in fact, brand new.

"This is the first time your pussy has been seen on camera?" he asks (she had just returned from Las Vegas where she shot this, and in Long Island the year before had shot this).

"Yes," she said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not!"

In a pre-scene interview, Laconia demonstrates several devastating money retrieval techniques she employs as a stripper, all of which involve subterfuge and cunning ("I tell them they can take my bra off and it usually takes them three or four songs to do it")

But unless Laconia actually tries to steal our busfare and drink our milkshake, she can get away with anything she wants.

· Vivid (vivid.com)

· Buy "Brand New Faces 7" (gamelink.com)/a>