A look back at the year that was...
January
We went to AVN again, and we even found more robots! If you thought the Real Touch Robopussy was strange, check this out: Roxxxy TrueCompanion.
Speaking of freaky technology, it turns out the iPad is pretty much as unsexy as we imagined (well, except for when Ryan Keely uses hers).
Our first taste of "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" left us wanting more. Fortunately, we got a lot more.
Unfortunately, we got a lot more "Jersey Shore" in the form of "Jersey Shore XXX."
February
With all that "Jersey Shore" hype running strong (and multiple porn parodies on the market), it naturally followed that someone would allege that Snooki had a sex tape. It was a fake, but how about this picture?
One of our favorite Fleshbot Babes, Ariel, has a hardcore past! How excited were we? Quite excited.
How strong is your sexting game? Let us help you make it stronger.
We can't help you with your curling game, but we can show you a naked picture of an Olympic curler. Pretty good consolation prize, right?
March
March was a very educational month. We learned about who the most desirable pornstars (to download into your Real Touch Robopussy) are...
Sasha Grey taught us about the proper ways to engage in dirty talk.
While our very own editor helped us stay stealthy while we go about our digital smut consumption (seriously handy information).
Oh, also we learned that Mindy McCready has a sex tape. Yep.
April
If April showers bring May flowers, then April leaks bring...uh, Chelsea Handler's sex tape.
The leaks also produced naked pictures of Evelyn Lozada. That's Antoine Walker's ex-fiance (it's ok, we didn't know that either).
Internet security is no laughing matter, people! Well, except when the Chinese people brought down the government's firewall to check out AV Idol Sola Aoi. That was pretty funny.
May
Kendra Wilkinson has a sex tape?! "How many more sex tapes will come out this year?" we asked in May, not knowing what tapes were ahead of us.
This month in calamities: vajazzling porn starring Kagney Linn Karter. We're so glad this didn't become a niche!
Things like vajazzling make us want to drive off into the sunset and never look back. Now we can do that and we can get head at the same time!
Heather Morris naked! We love it when network TV stars have slightly sordid pasts.
June
Of course there was another sex tape this month: Danielle Staub's.
We don't really understand the whole sex tape appeal; it won't get you any closer to your favorite celebrities! You know what will? A Fleshlight, like the Stoya Fleshlight! (Which was pretty good actually!)
We usually experience a summer lull in celebrity nudity, but this year, we had lots of sexy things to watch.
And hey, Katy Perry's underboob!
July
Do you enjoy fancy computer graphics? Do you enjoy porn? Then are you ever in luck!
We'd like to think of Fleshbot as a classy website, but sometimes we can't help but post pictures of Ke$ha with a little jizz on her. It was unusual, we had to post it!
Ideally, we'd like to be as classy as Crista Flanagan: naked, all retroed-up, and in Playboy.
And then we'd ride around in a classy retro car, like the AC Cobra, while playing with the odd sex toy that was modeled after said vehicle.
August
Montana Fishburne wanted to be a pornstar. Then some other things happened involving Vivid, her XXX debut, her other XXX debut, and then some other things happened. If you have any questions, please consult the guide.
We got a sneak peek at the RIley Steele/Kelly Brook nudity in "Piranha 3D"!
Even better, we got some of the script for Lee Roy Myers' greatest parody to date: "The Human Sexipede."
For all you college age kids out there, here's our guide to dormitory sex.
September
A lot of big celebrity stories this month: first we detected a hint of nipple in one of Lindsay Lohan's "Machete" scenes.
Then, even though the whole Chelsea Handler sex tape never went anywhere, we got some softcore smut starring the talk show host.
Last, Jessica Alba's CGI nudity made us ponder the future of mainstream nudity in movies and TV.
Unrelated: Dan Savage declared it National Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Season, and we thought we should help out!
October
This season of "Weeds" finally produced some Mary Louise Parker loving.
"The Human Sexipede" finally came out, and it was awesome.
After waiting forever for news about Stoya's first double penetration, we received some photographic proof! (Finally!)
4chan made everyone think that a young woman's decision to star in porn lost her an Arizona State scholarship. Sad stuff; thank goodness it wasn't real.
November
The spirit of hoaxiness carried over from October and delivered unto us this Apple Trackpad tutorial complete with nipple pinching.
Creeps everywhere rejoiced as Miley Cyrus turned 18 years old. Hustler was ready for this day, immediately releasing "Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Miley Cyrus' 18th Birthday."
With the help of Justine Joli, Ryan Keely, and Ellen Stagg, we debuted our first ever Position of the Week, The Opening Flower.
Hey, did we mention that we saw topless pictures of Jessica Alba and Kat Dennings on the same day? Yeah, that happened this month.
December
You know what one of the best things about Stoya's double penetration scene in "Bad Girls 5" was? Her face.
Lots of people think Christina Aguilera was best in her "Genie in a Bottle" stage, but we kind of like the way she behaves nowadays.
Movie nudity isn't everything. Sometimes it's enough to watch one hot celebrity, like Mila Kunis, pretend to eat out another hot celebrity, like Natalie Portman.
As we move into the new year, we want to bring a message of love to AVN and AEE. Help us write notes of admiration to your favorite male pornstars. With your assistance, we can make 2011 the Year of the Warm Fuzzies.