Fast Forward Flesh FlicksTM: “I’m Dreaming of Genie”

It is only after watching thousands of hours of porn that the snobbery creeps in. I need to remind myself that even an abysmal porn movie is still a porn movie.

In the end, all porn is good. Just like all candy is good and all drugs are good. Why worry about plot and script and lighting and sound and dialogue and editing when those things are merely a distraction from the main point of porn, which is Naked Ladies?

I phoned a friend who is a doctor.

"You know how some of the porn companies are doing parodies lately?" I asked.


"Yes," she said (and, just so you know, this is a kindly emergency room doctor in Baltimore who demands I send her JM Productions' pissing movies when I'm done with them).

"I have never seen such a poor effort as this one," I said.

"'Poor effort'?" she said. "It's porn."


I admit that I'd forgotten my adolescent sense of wonder when I threw this DVD into my digital display device. "Wow, this is really bad," I said, looking right through Jessica Lynn's proud, machine-crafted boobs. "She doesn't even try to sound like Barbara Eden."

And then there was Harmony, whom I'd love were she just to write parking tickets all day. "I have no idea what this scene is about," I said, ignoring the fact that Harmony was right there fucking in it.

All these riches, I thought, and I don't even see them.


"You know what they call the guy who finishes medical school with the lowest grades?" my friend said.

"No, what?" I said.

"'Doctor'," she said.

Fast Forward Flesh Flicks will appear occasionally to remind us that porn doesn't need to be good to be good.

So "I'm Dreaming of Genie" is not an awful movie; it's a porn movie.

· Venom HD (xxxjuicy.com)
· Buy "I'm Dreaming of Genie" (tlavideo.com)