“Bartenders”: Or, How Joanna Earned Her Lick-Her License

It's unfair to say that "Bartenders" is a "Coyote Ugly" parody. There's some dancing, some romance, and the word "ugly" gets thrown around, but that's about it. Frankly, I would watch "Bartenders" a million times before I rewatch "Coyote Ugly."

Bartenders

Studio: Burning Angel
Director: Joanna Angel
Cast: Joanna Angel, Dana DeArmond, Kleio, Mason Moore, Moretta Coxxx, Kylee Kross, James Deen, Brian Street Team, Evan Stone, Mick Blue

Joanna Angel is used to fucking the random studs that walk in her bar, but when she sucks off Health Inspector Mick Blue, she ends up in a seriously sticky situation. It's up to Joanna, Kleio, Kylee Kross, and Dana DeArmond to bring the bar up to code before Mick shuts it down. Meanwhile, the tender bartendresses have to put up with underage patrons, shirtless shmucks, and an insane bouncer. Kooky antics!

Kooky antics aside, "Bartenders" delivers some of the hottest hardcore fucking we've seen this year. Everyone in the cast is on their best behavior, acting at top form whether they're taking body shots or cumshots.

Anal action abounds in this scene, as well as others!

In its heart of hearts, "Bartenders" is about what people can accomplish when they come together for a good cause. Accordingly, the majority of the movie features group sex. We love group sex! We love it when Joanna, Kleio, Kylee, and Dana compare boobs and butts before rimming each other into oblivion. We love it when Kleio drags Kylee and (the underage drinker) James Deen into the bathroom to take turns mounting him on the toilet. We have mixed feelings about when James sneaks past the bouncer, Brian Street Team, by sharing Mason Moore with him—but that's only because BST seems like such a nice guy.

Of course, the couple scenes are exciting too. Take Inspector Mick for example. He's anally retentive, yet he eats Joanna's ass; he's preparing to screw over the bar, yet he's clearly more dedicated to screwing Joanna. See a pattern? Later, Dana gets on all fours in the dingy bathroom to take Evan Stone in her ass, and the two of them make giggling narcissistic comments the whole time. BST and Moretta Coxxxshare a sweet moment alone on a barstool, but it's slightly hard to enjoy with Moretta moaning like she's shifting gears.

We won't spoil the end of the movie for you, but let's just say it involves a hidden camera, blackmail, and a five-way with Joanna, Kylee, Kleio, Mick, and James that involves a damn lot of double penetration and snowballing. Is there a better way to finish a film than with Kylee and Joanna rocking against two huge cocks? It's doubtful.

There's certain things you find in Burning Angel porn that you never find elsewhere. Like Evan Stone strutting around the bar flexing and stripping. ("He reminds me of my Jeep," says Dana channeling R. Kelly.) Or Brian Street Team putting James in a headlock to interrogate him about "DuckTales." Sure, some of the jokes bomb horribly, and sometimes the plot drags on, but both issues are minor. Burning Angel never fails to bedazzle porn with a lively mix of pop culture and earnest stupidity, and that is what makes movies like "Bartenders" so damn fun.

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Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)
Burning Angel (burningangel.com)
Buy "Bartenders" (gamelink.com)