TV, Money For Pizza, Threesomes With The Parents: “Babysitter Diaries 3”

Dear Diary, it sure is hard being a babysitter. You have to look serious and responsible, keep boys out of the house, and periodically appease the parents with long bouts of tender oral sex.

Babysitter Diaries 3

Studio: Reality Junkies
Director: Kevin Moore
Cast: India Summer, Lexi Bloom, Ally Kay, Kendra Secrets, Chastity Lynn, Ella Milano, Dane Cross, Christian XXX, Alec Knight, Michael Vegas, Jay Crew

Babysitting in Porn Valley isn't too rough of a job: pornstars tend to make pretty awesome employers and their kids never make a peep! But they do have a few serious rules (that they expect you to break in naughty ways).

Rule #1: Show up! India Summer's usual babysitter came down with the flu, so the babysitter's boyfriend (Michael Vegas) shows up in her place. This kind of last minute replacement is unacceptable: how can India trust Michael? Rather than mess around with trust-falls or checking his references, India checks Michael's dick. It is quite large, and fits well in her mouth. The second round of interviews takes place on the couch, where Michael tongues India's pussy into a hot, fuchsia frenzy before he plunges inside her. India is a marvelous performer, never breaking eye contact with Michael and reducing him to a horny animal before he busts all over her chest.

Rule #2: Don't have boys over. Ally Kay knows this is the case, but when her boyfriend Dane Cross shows up, she can't say no to sucking his cock. Just as Dane gets his pants around his ankles, Kendra Secrets walks in and demands to know why the babysitter is having sex on her bed—with the door open, no less! Kendra doesn't care for their apologies, but she likes the look of Dane's cock, and she grabs what she wants. With some reluctance, Ally and Dane give in to the freaky, MILFy threesome ("I've seen this shit on HBO, like at late night," says Ally. "It's kind of cool actually").

Rule #3: Don't seduce widowers. Jay Crew asks Chastity Lynn to watch his two preschoolers while he's at work. Chastity wonders where Jay's wife is, and Jay starts crying as he discusses how much he misses his deceased wife. We don't know if Chastity is a nymphomaniac or merely ignorant of the decorum regarding mourning, but she wastes absolutely no time unbuttoning Jay's shirt and kissing down the trail of gray chest hair to his throbbing cock. Sure, Jay looks a bit like Will Ryder from the future, but he's a charming man who loves to push Chastity into orgasm after orgasm. It's therapy for both of them!

Rule #4: Don't fuck the babysitter. This rule was obviously meant to be broken. Christian begs his wife to hire a busty, blonde babysitter, and he's openly disappointed when petite, brunette Lexi Bloom shows up. While Christian gets ready for a party, Lexi changes clothing, lets down her hair, and slaps down layers of lip gloss and eye shadow; Christian finds a whole new girl in his living room when he returns! He immediately pounces, and Lexi offers no resistance as his massive hands grip her breasts and toss her dress away. Alec Knight has a similar experience with his wife and babysitter, only worse. When Ella Milano shows up to take care of his kids, Alec realizes that his wife hired the intern he's been fucking on his lunch breaks! Well, if you're already mixing business with pleasure, you might as well mix business with pleasure with business with pleasure... or something. Anyway, they bone like crazy on a tiny loveseat which allows Ella to ride cowgirl with great leverage and intensely deep strokes.

One of the best things about "Babysitter Diaries 3" is the sexual sheepishness that many of the characters initially show. Ella has to work to convince Alec that the babysitting gig will work out; only India's powerful suction gets Michael to give in to her demands; Ally and Dane find it totally weird that Kendra wants to settle their differences with a threesome. How marvelous! It's no fun when the babysitters switch to porn mode immediately, and the gradually escalating sexiness is something we've come to love from Reality Junkies. Sometimes nothing beats good acting!

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