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PornClubCard: It's Where You Want To Be MasterCard, Visa, American Express, PornClubCard: only one of these will earn you points that can be redeemed for 30-day porn site memberships. Although, classy as it looks, you probably wouldn't want to expense that business dinner on it. (xbiz.com)

subprime ideas

TheNetGirls: Yet Another Way To Lose All Your Money In Vegas

The only industry that gets less respect than porn these days is the mortgage industry, which is probably why one mortgage broker gave up the foreclosure game in order to sell a different kind of American Dream. Like a well-financed subprime loan, TheNetGirls offers the promise of a weekend in Vegas with 50 hot internet girls along with food, drinks, and cash prizes ... but will more than likely leave you broke, alone, and wondering how you ever got talked into such a scheme. It actually sounds a lot like a trip to the AVN Expo, but with cheaper food and less angst and despair!

· "Mortgage Lender Shutters Business, Launches Adult Website" (xbiz.com)
· The Net Girls (thenetgirls.com)


When Stocks Drop, Tops Don't Pop We already knew that it's been a rather slow summer for topless beach shenanigans from our usually reliable celebrity sun worshipers. Well, now we finally have an explanation. It's the economy stupid! Yes, some super smart French guy has determined that a) women are less likely than usual to whip 'em out on his nation's famous topless beaches, and that b) the reason is a lack of confidence in the economy. It's all related to a well-established economic principle that women dress more provocatively when the stock market is doing well. The always classy Daily Mail puts it a bit less delicately, but the message is simple: Forget jobs, gas prices and trade deficits, we need to get people back to work on our topless beaches! (dailymail.co.uk)

It was a bad weekend for fans of government intervention, as California's "porn tax" bill goes down in committee and Turkey gives up on their porn registration plan. You may continue to fap in peace. (xbiz.com + hurriyet.com.tr)

Remember when we pointed out how ridiculous it was that lawyers were collecting $1.3 million for suing a videogame company over sex scenes that they didn't even make while the people who they were supposedly "protecting" only got $30,000? Well, at least one judge agrees with us: the "Hot Coffee" settlement has been rejected by the courts, because it turns out that no one was actually offended by the sex in "Grand Theft Auto." And here we were thinking we were the only ones. (Kotaku)

The great Janine Lindemulder is in a bit of a pickle with the IRS, who want $80,000 in back takes or they'll take it out of her ... well ... actually, that part might not be in her contract. Here she is in happier, unindicted times.(thesmokinggun.com)

A judge has ordered the maker of Enzyte to pay a $500 million fine for defrauding people with their fake penis pills, which would pretty much put the company out of business. Maybe then they'll finally stop running those idiotic commercials on TV. (xbiz.com)

It's almost too easy to make jokes about how the porn industry is responsible for stimulating the economy (though we draw the line at even thinking about Bush's package)—but we guess they're sort of hard to avoid when you're talking about some independent market research company's claim that "many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks" thanks to those magic economic stimulus checks. Too bad we already spent all of ours on hookers and beer, or else we totally would've renewed our membership to AssSmoothie.com! (

Apparently that whole recession thing that's ruining porn sales has left lingerie sales completely untouched. It just goes to show: no matter how broke a girl is, she can always rummage up enough money to look cheap. (xbiz.com, recession-proof thumb from galleries.sterlingcash.com via The Bra Blog)

AdultVest, that investment bank that focuses exclusively on cashing in on porn, has been nominated for "Launch of the Year" at the annual Hedge Fund Awards. They have hedge fund awards now? Man, we remember when it used to be about the money. (aetoday.com)

What do you get for the billionaire banker who has (and can afford) everything? Apparently, a naked picture of his wife constructed out of clippings from the Financial Times that mention his name. And people think we're kinky. (bloomberg.com via Gothamist)

The bad news is that the economy is in the tank and we're all broke! So what's the good news? Now everyone is going to stay home and watch nothing but porn! Even recessions have a silver lining! (xbiz.com)

The makers of fake penis-expanding pill Enzyte are thinking about maybe making some minor "changes" to the business, since you know ... all their top executives, the company founder (and his mother) were convicted of bank fraud, money laundering and conspiracy charges and admitted in federal court that their product is a complete fairy tale. You would think those are the kind of setbacks that would put a company out of business, but that's the American entrepreneurial spirit for you! (avn.com)

As disturbing as it is to hear about a proposed 25 percent tax on revenues from adult entertainment in California, we're even more startled by the claim that "Every second, $3,000 is being spent on adult entertainment"—though we should also remind you that you're not spending a cent as long as you're sitting there reading about porn taxes on Fleshbot. Feel free to buy us a beer with the money you're saving the next time you see us, k? (news.yahoo.com - thanks Andre; thumbnail via CoedsNeedCash.com)

The buyer of that $33 million Lucien Freud nude painting has been revealed to be Roman Abramovich, a Russian oligarch who also owns a British soccer team. If you've ever wondered what oil billionaires do with all that money, there's your answer. (mirror.co.uk)

This New York Times profile was a little too long sophisticated for us to fully comprehend, but it seems to be about a man who built a multi-million dollar empire by figuring out how to charge your credit card for online porn, and who also spends a good deal of time working for the American Bible Association and a (shady, possibly fake) animal rescue organization. (That's him on the left, with one of the world's biggest porn moguls.) He's also bankrupted a few companies and spent some time in jail for mail fraud ... but frankly, what enterprising online porntrepreneur hasn't? (nytimes.com)

Lucien Freud's "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping" sold at auction last night for $33.6 million, the most money ever paid for a work of art by a living artist and certainly the most money ever paid for a picture of a naked woman. We think his grandfather called this "wallet envy." (artdaily.com + bloomberg.com)

media

Porn Recession Will Ruin Us All ... Again

You may not have heard anything about this on the news, but there seems to be something wrong with the "economy." Things are more expensive and our mortgages need more oil or something. Fortunately, we still have porn ... or do we? People don't like to spend money in a recession, but they do really like porn, so if they're not spending money on that then we must really be in trouble. News does travel slowly, but now even Miami knows (thanks to local TV station CBS 4) that porn DVDs aren't doing so hot. They're losing money to the online internets ... except if people are going to the internet, then they're probably still spending money. They're just you know ... spending it somewhere else. Of course, there's the free internet places like YOURporn, which is not to be confused with the actual site that some dude at the office told this reporter to check out. But don't worry—someday porn will all be in 3-D! That will fix everything! Right?

· Poor Porn Sales: Another Sign Of Recession? (cbs4.com)

Previously: Is Porn The Harbinger Of (Economic) Doom?