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Masturbation

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Amateur Porn Roundup: This Time, The Hot Ones

You know, we spend so much time writing about unusual and outrageous stuff around here that we sometimes lose sight of the simpler things in life—like getting you off. And when all is said and done, getting you off is what makes us happy! (Well, that and the new guy at the gelateria around the corner who always wears these short-cut t-shirts that ride up a couple of inches on his backside when he bends over to dig out our scoop of dulce de leche; those things make us happy too.) So in an effort to please ourselves and you, gentle reader, we present today's not-so-exhaustive roundup of pure down-and-dirty amateur hotness. No plushies, no clothespins, no bowling balls up the anus this time—just hot solo action. You can thank us later.

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While we're on the subject of cocks and their allure today, maybe you'll have better luck figuring out what this game show cartoon character is doing than the contestant who's too busy cracking up to answer. Hint: we were going to say "Choking the chicken" ourselves before that snake popped up and got us all confused, though we suppose the correct answer ended up being pretty close too. (Click thumbnail for video.)

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XTube Roundup: Performance Art Or Crazy People Masturbating? You Decide!

Has this ever happened to you? You're slung up on the interweb getting your jack on when you stumble across a nice hot vid of some other guy doing the same thing. Everything is hunky-dory, and since you've got a meeting in like ten minutes you've really gotta wrap it up, and you're almost there ... and then all of a sudden, the guy in the video pops a load on his cat or pulls a bottle of hairspray out of his ass, and you're all like, "Whoa, didn't see that coming," and the moment is pretty much gone? Well, that's exactly what happened to us with each of videos in today's roundup. (Not that it stopped us from, uh, continuing to pursue our goal—or missing the meeting, for that matter—but then we're trained professionals where these things are concerned.) See why amateur porn and surprises don't mix after the jump.

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ask the experts

Best Of Sex Advice: Reach Out And Touch Someone

We know that it's tough to ask for help. It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem, and that you need the assistance of others to resolve it. And it can be embarrassing and painful to confess to a shortcoming, but when you do—when you learn to trust and then rely on your fellow man—that's when you make a true human connection. On the other hand, when you seek sexual guidance by joining a site called the "Large Penis Support Group" ... well, then you're just showing off. (Or being delusional. Take your pick.) More »

Rubbed Out: Remembering Ayveq The Wanking Walrus There's a somber mood today here at Fleshbot East as we just learned about the tragic death of an American legend—Ayveq, the masturbating walrus. Dead at age 14 of a bacterial infection, he loved his devoted fans (and himself) for many years at—where else?—the Coney Island Aquarium. Please have a moment of silence before petting your own walrus later tonight. (brooklynpaper.com)

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Four-Eyed Monsters: Top Ten Girls In Glasses Sex Videos

Dorothy Parker once commented that men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. Much as we admire Ms. Parker, we're going to have to disagree with that statement. In our experience, there are more than a few men (and women) who find four eyes to be just as sexy as two. Sometimes, even sexier! But don't just take our word for it: we've rounded up the hottest selections of thick-rimmed naughtiness for your edification. There's only ten, but it will feel like 20/20. More »

sex blogs

Sex Blog Roundup: Get There If You Can

If not for the Big O, would we even bother taking off our clothes? Some might say that getting there is half the fun, but we're not sure we believe that line of happy crap. The bloggers in today's roundup of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene are definitely keeping their eyes on the prize: they play, they tease, they torment, they edge, and eventually they come so hard it's surprising the police aren't summoned. We like the way they roll ... and judging from what they have to say, they're pretty pleased with themselves too.

Don't deny AlwaysArousedGirl what she's got coming to her after the jump.

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masturbation, the world, and you

"A Series Of Controversial Dildonics": Think Globally, Fap Locally

San Francisco's annual Arse Elektronika events sees the sexiest of the geeky (or the geekiest of the sexy) trying to outnerd each other with fabulous sexual inventions that are impractical, implausible, and exactly what you want for Christmas. It's also a great way for tinkerers of this sort to experiment with new and wacky ideas. Like, say, a vibrator that's hooked up to the U.S. Geological Survey and only buzzes when there's an earthquake somewhere in the world: you just plug it in, turn it on, and ... wait for a completely unpredictable natural disaster! Only trouble is that when your own "Big One" finally arrives, it's tempered by the realization that a building might have collapsed somewhere with people trapped inside. Talk about a buzzkill. More »

here he is ...

Thursday's Amateur Straight Guy J/O Video Pageant Of Realness

Here at Fleshbot, we understand that lust is a many-splendored thing. Some go for twinks, others like them chubby, and some—we're not naming names—dig inanimate objects like that hot new Braun coffeemaker in the break room. You know, the one with those sleek, sexy curves and that soft, perfectly rounded orifice from whence pours the hottest, richest coffee we've ever tasted ... But we digress.

Still, most of the gays we know would probably agree that watching straight boys in solo action is just plain hot. Whether it's the allure of forbidden fruit or that delectable frisson of watching them masturbate even though they thought putting "4 Da Ladiez ONLY!!!" in their video description meant that only ladiez would be watching them, straight guys offer something for everyone. (Unless, of course, you like to watch guys getting it on together—in which case, you might want to move on to another post.)

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hardcore

Let's Get Physical: Top Ten Sports Porn Videos

Before we became professional porn watchers, we spent a good chunk of our time in front of flickering screens watching sports. Alas, our busy porn trawling schedule means that we don't get to kick back and watch a good game as often as we like. But there are some days when we happen to find some porn with a little bit of sports mixed in—which gives us the best of both worlds! No, we still don't think that water sports cut it as "athletic activity" (no matter how much energy you spend covering the floor in rubber sheets)—but for other fun things involving bats and balls, check out today's roundup of some of our favorite sports porn videos after the jump. More »

she shoots ... she scores!

More Euro 2008 Porn: Games? What Games?

We have a confession to make: The real reason we like to write about European soccer smut is because European soccer games are generally on during the middle of the day in the U.S., and that gives us an excuse to watch sports on TV when we're supposed to be looking at porn. (Unlike the rest of our nation's workforce, who are secretly watching porn during the day when they're pretending to do whatever it is they do for living.) Of course, if our bosses ever caught us not looking at porn, we'd be in big trouble. So this video collection of girls masturbating in soccer uniforms is the perfect cover! And once the games are over, we're sure we'll be able to find another use for it too. More »

masturbation

The Greatest Self-Love Of All: How, Where, And When We Masturbate

In celebration of National Masturbation Month (remember that?), Gay.com conducted a survey of their readers—and their straight and lesbian friends—to learn all the dirty details about their masturbation habits. Over 29,000 people responded, and the results have been tabulated. So who's going below the belt most often? How are they doing it? And sex toys? What about the sex toys? Click through to see what the survey revealed ... More »

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What Will Porn Stars Do (And Not Do)?

Those wacky porn stars... is there anything they won't do? Well yes, actually. Though some adult performers are up for anything, others shy away from things like double anal or even interracial scenes (to say nothing of the more hardcore dirtpipe milkshake). But of the many things that make up the standard porn arsenal, which acts are commonplace and which are, uh, harder to come by? Based on the listings on one adult talent agency's website, an enterprising blogger has done a bit of research ... and the answers may surprise you. Out of just over 900 porn stars, how many would participate in a solo shoot? Boy/girl? Double vaginal? Actual acting? Answers (with some helpful photo illustrations) after the jump.

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it's funny 'cause it's true

iPhone 3G: Best Porn Phone Ever?

While our more geeky siblings may be excited about about the iPhone 3G's GPS capabilities and new applications, there's really only one thing that interests us about it: the faster download speeds, which of course means quicker access to porn. And it seems we're not the only ones who are looking forward to rubbing one out to BigSausagePizza.com with greater convenience during work hours, as you'll see in the video below. Really, what else were you going to use that fancy piece of equipment for anyway? Checking those spreadsheets on your Enterprise server? Please. More »

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A Very Lively Life Drawing Class

We've participated in quite a few life drawing classes over the years ourselves, and have always enjoyed sketching different models in different locations. Yet somehow we've never seen a model display quite so much enthusiasm, nor have we ever seen an art class disrobe in solidarity with the model. We're tempted to find out if this class has any openings—though if we did get a chance to participate, we'd probably have hard time getting any art work done. Maybe we should just stick with Dr. Sketchy's after all? More »

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Meet Minion1: Sexual Hero Or Crazy Person?

Over the weekend, the super-secret sex operative who goes by the handle Minion1 posted yet another thoroughly ballsy video of himself being very naughty in a bookstore on XTube. (We hear Arianna Huffington sometimes has that effect on people. Not us, you know, but "people". Maybe we should give Amazon a rest and go back to IRL shopping for a while?)

Take a look after the jump and let us know: is he kinda awesome or just plain nuts?

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hardcore

Wedding Fever: Top Ten Honeymoon Sex Videos

There's a lot of talk this time of year about wedding season, but being the sexual mavericks that we are we've never been all that big on that particular institution. Then again, we do like getting invited to weddings and eating all that yummy cake. (Mmm, cake.) And there's that whole honeymoon sex video thing: after all, a June bride never looks lovelier than she does when her dress is hiked up to her waist as she's getting pounded in a fancy hotel room somewhere. And what better way to break in that video camera your uncle gave you as a present?

Check out our selection of the top ten hottest honeymoon videos after the jump. A wistful tear may not be the only thing you'll find yourself wiping away.

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Wet Fun In The Summertime: Top Ten Pool Sex Videos

As the official beginning of summer gets closer and the mercury starts to rise, our thoughts naturally turn to how nice it would be to have our own pool to splash around and get cool in, and how bitter we are that we don't have room for one in our apartment. Then again, owning a pool involves a fair amount of responsibility—as you'll see in the clips below, not only would we have to worry about proper filtration methods and regulating the water temperature so our next orgy neighborly get-together didn't feel like it was taking place in a giant vat of pea soup, there's also the tricky question of inviting just the right mix of our hot lesbian friends over and making sure we have enough scuba gear for any impromptu underwater blowjobs that might happen. Still ... we can dream, can't we? More »