The OhMiBod is a white, plastic vibrator that looks like a jumbo
tampon. It comes with two different silver caps (one for music hookup
and one to turn it into a regular vibrator) and a hot pink bag with
"OhMiBod" embroidered on it, which is cute if you think hot pink is
cute. I was surprised at how chintzy the OhMiBod was. It may look
classy in pictures, but one glance at the cheapo silver caps and you'll
change your mind. Also, you have to bang the thing against a hard
surface to even get the plastic battery sleeve out. Then, in the
manual, the total hard-on killer: "Do not use rechargeable batteries."
Dude, you don't get to cost $70 and then say that.

Well, you also don't get to cost $70 and then die. But anyway.

There is one thing you should know up front. When listening to music
with the OhMiBod, there is about a 50 millisecond delay between the
music and the corresponding vibrations. For me, this is unforgivable. A
music-powered vibrator that can't even keep up with the music? It's not
a huge delay, or even a delay that most people would notice, but I
noticed it -- and it made me grate my teeth.

The OhMiBod's box reads "The range and variety of vibrations are
endless." This is a lie. The range and variety of vibrations are
extremely limited, and are often so non-specific that they could easily
be replicated in any other vibrator with pulsation functions. The
volume also has to be turned up to get decent-strength vibrations.

To gauge whether or not the OhMiBod will respond to a particular
song, you must understand just how particular this little brat is. To
say that it responds to a nice beat would be incorrect -- what it
really does is respond to a strong beat if there is not much
else going on in the song. For instance,  "Bonnie Taylor Shakedown
(2K4)" by Hellogoodbye may have a killer beat, but there's too much
going on for the OhMiBod to respond to it. It becomes just a constant
buzz.

Here are a few songs that the OhMiBod responded positively to before
it died: "Guitar Hero" by Amanda Palmer, "The Beautiful People" by
Marilyn Manson, "Miss Magnolia" by Matt Costa, "Music is my Hot, Hot
Sex" by Cansei de Ser Sexy. However, even in songs like these, the
OhMiBod tends to flake out when the chorus comes along, unable to
distinguish the beat from everything else.

Also, being a moron, I attempted watching porn with the OhMiBod. Too
bad it responds to only the most obnoxious and repetitive of moans.

I wanted to try Blink 182, Eve 6, Nirvana, Simon & Garfunkel,
and the all-important "Drops of Jupiter," but it died before I could.

So how about as a regular vibrator? It apparently has/had seven
vibration patterns. I didn't try them before it died, but I'm sure they
wouldn't be anything special. This thing is still made of plastic, after all. It's no better than a $10 plastic vibrator, and that is exactly what it feels like in my pussy.