images courtesy of Babeland

Twelve minutes. What exactly could I do in 12 freaking minutes? That was how long the batteries powering up the Babeland Remote Vibe Panties lasted, both sets by the way, which made me wonder if using four watch batteries for an egg vibrator was the best way to go. Granted, the obscure 12v AE23 battery powering the remote control still works, having gone through the two other sets for the egg shaped vibrator but still...

Okay, the package arrived last week and I anxiously took out all my new stuff, including the Babeland Remote Vibe Panties, and I set out to seeing just how appealing everything could be. Nadine, my fluffy toy tester, always appreciates the toys the most so I tossed them to her and she proceeded to put on the black satin undies, the draw strings on the side a great upgrade over the usual "one size fits all" (when this claim is rarely true) apparel. They were 97% polyester and 3% spandex, the label saying to hand wash them (perhaps your sub can do it) but she claimed they were comfortable enough, even coming in a satin bag to keep the kit together. In terms of wearing the panties, they were not the typical thong (a plus for some women) and had a pouch where the vibrating egg is supposed to go, but direct insertion (which is not explicitly recommended), always worked best in terms of the sensations it provided.

So, the device came without any fancy packaging, a testament to how green a company Babeland is becoming, and the sort of red rubber egg (the website establishing it as "ABS hard plastic with "rubber-Cote") measuring just over 2" by 1.5". It has a reinforced wire looped so the toy doesn't get lost in a very personal place, the remote about the size of a garage door opener with a single button to turn it on and cycle through the three speeds. The first speed was too slight, the second "just right" and the third a bit loud but battery draining per Nadine's extensive tests (yeah, try to find any watches working in my house these days...lol).

The egg was water tight as far as I could tell, the "o" ring keeping the internal mechanisms dry as a bone, so to speak. But try as we may, the device was an energy hog when it came to those tiny batteries, the difference noticeable very shortly after starting it up, the time until it stopped working with a given set of batteries about the stated twelve minutes. Just for kicks, on the second set of batteries, we attempted to see how far we could be form one another, eventually measuring the reliable distance to be closer to ten feet rather than the listed 16", preferably in direct line of sight without a lot of stuff between us.

So for us, the Babeland Remote Vibe Panties were not exactly a bust but could not be given a very high rating due to the various constraints imposed by the system. I know most online toy testers these days bend over backwards to suck up to companies they like and trash the middle of the road outfits mercilessly, but in fairness, this was one time when a few design modifications would have made a world of difference in upgrading it past the similar Astrea II reviewed last year. It wasn't bad but for this kind of dough (it cost $62 at this writing), we just expected something more so I rated it the obligatory Skip It unless you sign off on the weaknesses and maybe find it on sale. The company described the product like this:
"Slip on the Babeland Remote Vibe Panties, and you'll soon be slipping away into the world of remote-control pleasure. We've upgraded the classic panties to include very adjustable side-ties (from 25" to 65" hips), a powerful and splashproof three-speed vibrator with 16-foot remote range, and a custom-sewn pocket to keep the vibrator positioned precisely over your clit. Not only that, but these black satin panties are as comfortable as they are sexy; just wear them out to the club, pop the bright pink vibrator into the pouch when you're ready for some fun, hand the remote off, and revel in the surprise of vibration from across a crowded room. Makes a perfect gift for a lover, or for your favorite adventurous couple. Comes with a black satin storage pouch, and the Babeland stamp of approval."