Genre: All sex.
Director: Rod Fontana
Cast: Desire Moore, Destiny Deville, Dino Bravo, Kelly Wells, Mandy Bright, Rod Fontana, Steven French, Tony Tedeschi, Vincent Vega, Violet Blue.
Must-See Girls in Cast: None.
Length: 02:02
Condoms: None.
Bonus: One bonus point for condom-free sex.

Synopsis

Once in a while, a new release is such a breakthrough--so outside-of-the-box--that you just have to see it. I felt that way about the first virtual sex movie I saw and I think the same about this--one could almost say--first installment of a new genre. So, even though the objective ratings I use to rank each scene and DVD feature don't average out to my normal "XCritic Pick" threshold, I'm going to give that award anyway because the whole concept of this movie is so fucking hot!

You see, I love pussy. To give you an idea of how much I love pussies, my vision of dying and going to heaven would include passing through a giant, wet, warm, fleshy, pink pussy. I know, I'm nuts. But, aren't we all?

Anything that emphasizes pussy immediately grabs my attention. That's why I was so intrigued about Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy when I first talked to box-cover-girl Violet Blue about her role in the movie when we met at the 2005 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas. If you look at Violet's picture on the box cover, you can see why I was intrigued! Have you ever seen a more inviting, a fleshier, or a more intriguing pussy? Well, neither had I!

Violet and I talked about her pussy. How did it get so big? Well, the folks at Kick Ass Pictures enlisted the help of some engineers to create a vacuum suction pump device called the Kick Ass Pussy Pump. When properly applied to the genital area, vacuum causes the tender genital flesh, labia, and clit to engorge with blood and swell to mammoth proportions. Does it hurt? Absolutely not, she insisted. In fact, she said it feels rather good, although the main benefit of the pump is visual. Is the effect permanent? No. After the device has been removed for a few minutes, the flesh returns to normal size without side effects.

Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy is sort of a cross between an infomercial to market the pump (you can buy the Kick Ass Pussy Pump for $39.95) and a hard-core sex movie. Director/actor Rod Fortuna plays "Dr. Pump." Each of the five girls in the movie exhibits some sort of sexual dysfunction, ranging from mere disappointment regarding the size of her labia to complete frigidity. Have no fear! Dr. Pump is here! The good doctor arrives on the scene, demonstrates the use of the pump, and either watches or joins in the action as the girl and her lover discover new heights of lust caused by her now super-sized pussy.

The Kick Ass Pussy Pump includes a couple of different-sized suction cups, rather like transparent drain plungers, a suction tube, disconnecting hose, and suction pump. To use the Pussy Pump, select a suction cup that will properly encase the woman's vagina (the cup has to seal above the clit and between the vagina and anus). Moisten the genital area (tongues work perfectly here) and then place the suction cup over her genitals and have her press the cup tightly to her flesh. Attach the hose to the cup and to the vacuum pump and pull gently on the pump's handle to evacuate air from the cup. As you do so, the pussy pops up and begins filling the cup. Little-by-little, continue pumping until her pussy has completely filled the cup. Removing the cup too soon allows the flesh to quickly return to normal size. So, it appears that it is best to leave the cup on for a few minutes before removing it so that you can eat or fuck the gloriously pumped-up flesh. Although not shown as often in this movie as the suction cups, the Pussy Pump also comes with a suction tube that fits around the clit. Again, evacuating the tube with the Pump causes the flesh to expand exponentially. What a treat to suckle an absolutely humongous clit!

Each of the five girls seems anxious about the Pussy Pump before it is used on her. However, as soon as the first pull is made on the vacuum pump--causing her flesh to start to swell--she begins to giggle with apparent delight. It must feel very nice!

Each of the girls gets so into the Pussy Pump that she starts taking control of the darned thing herself. And, some of the girls used the Pump on their boobs to expand those, too (it doesn't work as well on breast flesh).

The Kick Ass Pussy Pump works on both clean-shaven and hairy pussies. Girls with both types of genital grooming are featured in the movie and both types received similar benefits.

Bottom line: I think Kick Ass is onto something. To make a pussy look so fucking nice and, at the same time, make the girl feel like a million bucks is, in my way of thinking, a real win-win situation.

Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy is really worth a look. Buy or rent it today.

Check out some photos of the girls in Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy here. Pay particular attention to the photos of Violet Blue's pumped-up pussy! Enjoy!

Review

Each of the five scenes in Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy is a first-class scene. Why do I say this? Well, as you might expect, I see a lot of porn in my quest to let you know what I think is good and bad. Most of what I see is worthwhile, but not everything makes my dick immediately stand up and take notice. Even though I'm sitting here writing now--and not watching the movie--just thinking about what I saw in Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy is giving me an aching hard-on. It's fair to say that I loved this movie!

Scene One

Scene One could not feature a better girl to introduce the Pump to us. She's Violet Blue and she's coupled with Steven French. Believe me, of all the engorged pussies in this movie, Violet's looks the absolute best! When the scene begins, Steven is trying to seduce Violet with romantic and sweet words accentuated by his French accent. He's getting nowhere, since she wants sex, not words, words, words! So, Dr. Pump (Rod Fontana) appears on the scene, demonstrates the pump, and leaves the two to enjoy Violet's massively inflated pussy. Damn, it's beautiful! And, Violet really likes how her inflated pussy feels, giggling delightfully as her flesh fills the suction cup (great close-ups). Once Violet's pussy is puffed up, they remove the suction cup so that Steven can spend several delicious minutes probing and licking her fabulous flesh with his tongue. He also rims her asshole. Of course, she also gives him a blowjob: however, the focus of attention always stays on the pussy where it fuckin' belongs! While they please each other, Violet's pussy slowly deflates. So, they repeatedly reattach the Pussy Pump and "pump it up!" In fact, Violet gets so into it that she takes control of the vacuum plunger! In due course, Steven gets to fuck her inflated, super-tight, and spit-lubricated pussy in the doggie (awesome camera angles and close-ups), spoon, and piledriver positions. Steven makes her cum during piledriver and then he pulls out and shoots his load onto the outside of her fucking gorgeous puffy pussy. It's a sight to behold! Five stars!

Scene Two

Scene Two features voluptuous blond Mandy Bright (great natural-looking boobs!), Vincent Vega, and Rod Fontana. This scene proves that the Pussy Pump can work with a hairy pussy, since Mandy is all-natural down there. When the scene fades in, Mandy is standing in front of her mirror applying her makeup. She's soon pleased with the appearance of her mouth's lips. However, that makes her think of her less ripe-looking labia. She tries rubbing, pinching, squeezing, pulling, and slapping them (excellent close-ups during this action). However, nothing seems to make them look as plump and full as she'd like. Vincent Vega, playing her husband, tries to hurry her up so that they can go out. However, she's not willing to leave the house because her lips are not "full." Vincent goes down on her, licking and probing greedily. Alas, he can't pump them up either! After adjourning to their bedroom, Vincent gets Dr. Pump on the phone and has him make an immediate house call. Again, Rod Fontana comes to the rescue, demonstrates the pump, and lets the happy couple enjoy her newfound plumpness. The sensation caused by the Pump must be extremely pleasing because Mandy giggles with delight as the suction cup quickly fills with her distended flesh. While the Pump does its magic, Vincent and Rod undress Mandy and begin to worship her feet and legs with their tongues. And, she sucks Vincent's cock to full mast. Meanwhile, Rod rims her asshole. Once Mandy's pussy is fully inflated, the guys remove the suction cup so Rod can eat her plump and tasty flesh. He also suckles her pretty toes. Later, Rod strips off his clothes so that Mandy can suck two dicks at one: ostensibly, this will help Mandy's pussy swell even more. When it's time for sex, Vincent is the first to fuck her puffy pussy--in the missionary position. In addition to in-and-out action, Vincent slaps Mandy's engorged vagina with his titanium-hard cock. Meanwhile, Rod fondles Mandy's fine boobs and stuffs her mouth with his cock. Vincent reams her harder and harder until she experiences a glorious orgasm (her boobs bounce delightfully as he bangs her). Then, she rolls onto her side and presents her pussy to Vincent so he can fuck it some more. Soon, Vincent pulls out of Mandy's vagina and inches his cock into her asshole for some balls-deep anal sex (her inflated pussy looks SO fine as it opens and closes when he hurls his cock in and out of her anus). Abruptly, the action switches to cowgirl: Rod reams her at redline speed causing her to cum again. Vincent then straddles Mandy and shoves his cock up her ass to double-penetrate her. After the guys double plug her for a couple of minutes (Mandy cums yet again), they change position to reverse cowgirl. In this way, Rod can fuck her ass (she cums again) while Vincent reams her puffy pussy. To finish up this outstanding scene, Vincent again fucks her pussy missionary style (she cums again!) until he explodes inside her. Then, in perhaps one of the most amazing cumshots I've ever seen, Rod quickly attaches the suction cup to Mandy's pussy so she can actuate the pump. Not only does her pussy blow up, but also Vincent's semen and her orgasmic juices are drawn from Mandy's vagina, into the cup, and up the hose. Then, she removes the suction cup and licks it clean. Wow. I fucking loved this scene. Five stars!

Scene Three

In Scene Three, darling, cute-as-a-button blond Desire Moore takes on Tony Tedeschi. In contrast to the other girls, Desire uses the Pussy Pump to masturbate. That makes this scene different and quite enjoyable. The scene begins with a little discussion between Dr. Pump and Desire. Then, after she teases him (and us) with her fine bald-shaven pussy, he has her install the Pump and use it on herself while she sits on a red-satin-covered chair. Desire really likes the feeling, undulating her body erotically as the Pump brings her lots of pleasure. Then, Tony joins her and, as she continues to pump up her pussy, she kneels on the red-satin chair, doggie style, and sucks his dick to attention (she looks fantastic!). Once Tony's rigid, he asks to see what the Pump has done for her. She removes the suction cup to show him: DAMN! Then, as she finger-fucks herself, Tony reaches down and uses his always-first-class tongue actions on her clit. Tony's tongue quickly causes Desire's pleasure engine to ignite. Then, Tony temporarily steps out of the picture so that Desire can spend some more time masturbating with the pump for the camera (great shot-from-below footage accentuates her magnificent swollen labia and perfect heart-shaped ass cheeks). Eventually, of course, Desire removes the suction cup and I swear I gasped aloud at the sight of her flesh. Then, Desire transfers the suction cup to her left breast and uses it to expand her boob while we watch from below. Of course, Desire also takes an opportunity to finger-fuck herself and play with her own luscious lips (magnificent close-ups). Desire must feel outstanding by this point: her own white juices drip from her puffy lips. After this delightful masturbation/tease segment, Desire attacks Tony's cock again as he lays atop a red-satin-covered bed (effective camera angles highlight both her engorged pussy and her dick-filled mouth). Sex begins doggie style: Tony pounds her hard and deep while she squeals and gasps for breath. To make Desire's blood boil even harder, Tony encourages her with nasty talk as he pounds her tight hole. She responds in kind, ordering him to "fuck my fat little cunt." Later, they spend some time in missionary before moving back to doggie. Tony fucks her with increasing ferocity until he's ready to pop. Then, he pulls out and shoots his load on her upturned ass and outside of her pussy. This is a good scene in which, unfortunately, Desire didn't seem to have cum. Four stars.

Scene Four

Destiny Deville's hugely blown up pussy makes Dino Bravo exceedingly happy in Scene Four. Dino and Destiny are a very unhappy couple for which sex is totally unfulfilling. It's a pity because Destiny is a very attractive and exotic woman with caramel-colored skin (maybe she's Hispanic?). Of course, Dr. Pump eventually arrives on the scene and turns their sadness to bliss. The scene begins outdoors with a little strip tease, shot from below (and using other effective camera angles) as Destiny slowly removes her clothes and exposes her exotic body, bountiful boobs, and hugely erect nipples. The action moves indoors where Destiny and Dino, affecting fake British accents, carry on a very proper "fight." Dr. Pump arrives on the scene and, as always, prescribes the Pussy Pump to solve their problem. Dr. Pump shows them the tool and how to use it. Of all the girls so far, Destiny seems to have the most misgivings about the unusual treatment method and she will only proceed with the approval of her husband. Upon receiving that permission, Density strips off her clothes so that Dr. Pump can install the Pussy Pump. Meanwhile, Dino suckles her toes to relax her. Even though Destiny had lots of misgivings, those fears soon turn to intense pleasure as the Pump swells her vagina: "oooh!" Dr. Pump gives control of the Pump to Density and, as she works the vacuum plunger, she giggles as her flesh swells exponentially. To increase Dentiny's pleasure, Dr. Pump suggests that Dino play with her nipples until they again swell to thimble-sized dimensions. Density must feel fucking fine because, when Dr. Pump removes the suction cup the first time, her sweet white juices are already dribbling out of her vagina. While the guys are admiring her puffed-up pussy, Destiny takes it upon herself to pump up her boobs. Later, Dino takes a quick opportunity to lick Destiny's clit and probe her vagina with his tongue. Then, for the first time in the movie, Dr. Pump grabs the suction tube that comes with the pussy pump and positions it directly above Destiny's clit. Working the vacuum pump then causes her clit to swell and begin to fill up the tube. This is yet another amazing sight you just have to see for yourself! Wow! If you thought you knew pussy before the Pump, you don't know jack! While Dr. Pump is using the Pump to engorge Destiny's pussy and clit, she takes it upon herself to stiffen Dino's cock with her voracious mouth. When her flesh is meaty enough for Dino to insert his meat inside, Destiny sits on him, reverse cowgirl style, and hurls her body up and down as the camera zooms-in on her humongous clit (DAMN this looks good!). Destiny fucks him frantically as she ramps up to an orgasm (her bouncing boobs look great!). Later, they transition to doggie for more puffed-up pussy sex (he slaps her ass to increase her ecstasy) during which Destiny shows off her erotic undulating moves. After Dino makes her cum, he continues to pound her so that pleasure continues to roll over her like tsunami-driven waves. Eventually, they move into the missionary position for more meaty vaginal sex. The swelling of Destiny's vagina causes Dino's cock to "feel SO big!" So, they fuck each other with very high intensity until Dino's ready to pop. When he can no longer stand the pressure, he pulls out and shoots his load into her wide-open mouth. She then sits up and spits his load directly from her mouth onto her still-swollen pussy (nice shot, Destiny!) and then massages it into her flesh. Five stars!

Scene Five

Finally, Kelly Wells' pussy is blown up and worshipped by Valentino in Scene Five. Kelly's problem is worse than the other girls: you see, she's not only unhappy with the appearance of her pussy, but she can also derive no pleasure from it--even with her own hand! She is, by her admission, frigid. After doing a little strip tease for the camera, Kelly sits back on a deck chair in an outside patio, and tries to masturbate. No matter what she tries, she feels nothing and, of course, gets extremely frustrated--just wait until you see her unhappy face! Happily--at least for us--the camera beautifully records her masturbating moves! Eventually, she comes to her senses and remembers an ad she saw for Dr. Pump. She gets him on the phone and tells him she needs his help. Of course, Dr. Pump is too eager to be of assistance. He arrives on the scene, teaches her about the Pump, applies it properly, and pumps her up! Again, the effect of the Pump is almost miraculous: Kelly's swollen pussy not only looks astounding but also, to hear her talk, feels wonderful too. Little by little, Dr. Pump starts to get a sexual response from Kelly: she even giggles when he fondles her nipples and when he suckles her toes. And, as her pussy expands, she shouts out with delight. To prove the effectiveness of his treatment, Dr. Pump eventually calls upon an assistant, Valentino, to fuck the shit out of Kelly and prove to her what pleasure really feels like. Believe me, she's soon all smiles and giggles! I LOVE it! When Valentino arrives on scene, Kelly eagerly sucks his flaccid dick to full mast while Dr. Pump continues to work his magic. Of course, when Kelly's pussy is nice and meaty, Dr. Pump removes the suction cup so we can savor her beauty. Removing the cup also allows Kelly to play with her own now-sensitive pussy. And, Dr. Pump gets a taste of that pussy, too. As the scene continues, Valentino pounds her meaty pussy (he calls it "air-tight") in the missionary position. Kelly, no longer in the least frigid, shouts and moans with real pleasure as her pussy swallows his whole shaft balls-deep: "pump that fuckin' pussy!" Later, they transition to doggie for more high-energy sex (great shots of her engorged pussy swallowing his dick) complemented by lots of sharp slaps-to-the-ass. Although she never appears to have had an orgasm, heretofore-unfeeling Kelly surely feels very good as Valentino ramps up to cum. When he's ready, he pulls out of her and jacks off onto her lower belly and outside of her plump labia. It's a very pretty sight. Too bad she didn't cum. Four stars.

DVD Perspectives

Video (technical): Overall, the video is quite respectable. Although imperfect in some regards, the lighting is good, camera angles appropriate, and the editing effective. The image is clean and sharp with no fuzziness, pixelization, or other digital aftereffects. Four stars.

Audio (technical): The stereo audio is crisp and clear. Music does not overshadow the sounds of sex and the dialog was well recorded, even during outdoor scenes (even though there is some ambient noise). Four stars.

Extras: The Extras are about average and include text-based performer biographies, previews, and the like. As always, I like the full-motion fetish menus that Kick Ass always includes on its disks. After you select which girl you want to watch, you can choose Tease, Blow Up, Oral Sex, Sex, Cum Shot, and so on. Three Stars.

Aesthetics: The locations, make-up, wardrobe, and so on are average. There's no musical soundtrack to evaluate. Three stars.

Final Thoughts

Recap
Average sex rating: 4.60
Average video rating: 4.00
Average audio rating: 4.00
Average production values rating: 3.00
Extras rating: 3.00
Bonus point(s): 1.00
Overall rating: 4.00

Legend:
X Critic Pick (4.5+ sex; 4.0+ production values; 4.5+ overall)
Highly Recommended (4.5+ sex; 4.0+ overall)
Recommended (4.0+ sex; 4.0+ overall)
Rent It (<4.00 sex; <4.00 overall)
Skip It (<3.50 sex; <4.00 overall)