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Wonder Woman XXX: A Hardcore Parody

Mile High Distribution/Hardcore Parody

Genre: Parody

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Director: Ashlynn Brooke

Cast: Carolyn Reese, Ralph Long, Diamond Foxxx, Mikey Butders, Gracie Glam, Bill Bailey, Anthony Rosano, Tori Black

Length: 146:01 minutes

Carolyn Reese

Dates of Production: 6/23/2010, 6/24/2010, 6/25/2010

Extras: There was a slip case, a short photogallery, and a pop shot recap but that was all.

Condoms: None

Diamond Foxxx

Audio/Video Quality: Wonder Woman XXX was presented in the 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen color it was shot in by director Ashlynn Brooke for Mile High Distribution. It was released in the standard definition MPEG2 codec, the video bitrate hovering on the high end around the 6.6 Mbps area when spot checked but there was grain, were some compression artifacts, and the composition of camera angles left much to be desired in the story portions; the sexual trysts caught a little better (but not by much). It gave the impression of being shot dirt cheap, lightning quick, and with almost no regard for the parody aspects as a cheap way to cash in on the popular superhero genre. If more than one camera was used at a time to shoot the show, I’d be surprised but at least there was no watermark or condoms. The audio was presented in the 2.0 Dolby Digital English most gonzo is shot with, no boom microphones getting in the way of enhancing the sound quality, minimal separation of channels, and limited dynamic range. The vocals could be heard fairly well but there was also no attempt to emulate the original score of the television show.

Gracie Glam

Body of Review: Ashlynn Brooke is an attractive blond with some nice curves that has made scores of slutty performances in recent years. Recently, she has tried her hand at directing titles for Mile High Distribution and her fanboys have lapped them up, the latest being a parody called Wonder Woman XXX: A Hardcore Parody. The first thing that ran through my mind was regarding how inappropriate Ashlynn would be in the lead, my curiosity about whether she was just a credited director in the first place arising pretty quickly. Well, I can’t answer the latter question for you but thankfully, she was not the star of the show (sadly, she wasn’t in it at all!), an equally goofy selection was made for that role in the form of Tori Black. Okay, the premise of the whole Wonder Woman comic book, television series, and various incarnations of animated series has always held that the lead is a busty brunette with powerful legs, wearing the trademarked outfit complete with bullet-bouncing bracelets, a magic lasso, a throwable tiara, and Hera’s magic girdle. What we get here is a skinny chick (admittedly a babe) without most of the important accessories, and a disposable plot that is just about as campy as the television show from the 1970’s. I’m a fan of parodies, especially superhero parodies, but if you’re not going to do it right, just make a gonzo outing and get it over with.

Carolyn Reese

The back cover described the movie like this: “The Iraqi government has once again penetrated US soil and has sent their top spy to infiltrate America's most lucrative business, the Porn Industry. Through the help of a sultry US informant, the Iraqi spy has gained access to California's biggest porn production sets in order to steal their secrets and bring them back home. There is only one person that can stop the Iraqi insurgence. There is only one person who can make a man crumble to his knees and beg for mercy, Wonder Woman. Will the Iraqi spy succeed in his mission to rip off America's beloved porn or will he succumb to the wealth and riches of the most sought after pussy on the planet. Will Wonder Woman save the day or are her powers futile against the terrorist attacks of the Iraqi infidels.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Tori Black

Scene One: Carolyn Reese, an attractive blond with all natural tits, was up first in a makeshift office with Ralph Long, the guy all over her pussy orally. The camera focused on the back of his head blocking her labia for the oral (smooth move!) but at least showed more attention to her blowing him mechanically while on her knees. She was a passive vaginal fuck until she was on top of him, some intermittent oral helping before the ending facial of genetic juice landed on her face.

Scene Two: Diamond Foxxx, a bleach blond MILF in a skimpy toga, was up next as the queen of the Amazons, giving a sponge bath to Mikey Butders (yet with no water). He was sporting an erection and since it had probably been a few thousand years since her last pecker, started feeling him up before the blowjob. He doesn’t go down on her before she rides his dick vaginally, the mixed levels of activity such that she came off okay but hardly her best. The scene ended when he beat off a round of population pudding to her ass crack and snatch, the gal rubbing it in as he towered over her.

Scene Three: Gracie Glam, one of the most attractive newcomers in porn, was up next in a suitable role as a porn performer having a scene with Bill Bailey on a bed. The lack of set up for the scene weakened it as part of the parody, the jumpy camera work such that it really didn’t catch her enthusiasm as well as it should have, and it was treated more of a spoof of a scene than a scene. The basics of oral and vaginal sex were covered and I doubt Gracie could look bad if she wanted to, but as passive as she was, she looked good and he even gave her some head too, the boning leading to his spunk jerked off into her mouth.

Scene Four: Carolyn Reese, the blond wearing shorts and a loose top, was up next with Anthony Rosano and Mikey Butders at the porn location. They discussed the internet and how more goes on at a porn shoot than is seen on camera, the anachronisms piling up before their clothing came off and the men took turns sucking her tits and cookie. She also slobbed their knobs aggressively and spread her legs as they banged her biscuit, the lack of chemistry making this another mediocre scene to watch. The guys stayed in character and eventually jerked off to her chest, the timing not working well either.

Scene Five: Tori Black, the attractive young lady featured on the front cover, was up last with Ralph Long. That she only had a single scene struck me as odd as her physical incompatibility for the role, compounded by how polished her sexual skills were for someone who claimed to have never seen a man before. She helped him with his clothing and dropped down to slob his knob with some hand to gland action, Ralph not going down on her before penetrating her pussy with his rod. Tori was not consistently active at riding but she was very vocal, so vocal that you’d guess she’d been in porn for all three hundred of her years (her words). Ralph then snacked on her a bit before moving back to vaginally pound her, withdrawing to unleash his seed into her mouth though she wasted it by spitting it out onto her chest.

Summary: Wonder Woman XXX by director Ashlynn Brooke for Mile High Distribution reminded me that a good parody pays attention to the story, the dialogue, the characters, and at least some aspects of the original material lest it be labeled as a cheesy ripoff. As hot as Tori was, she was not fit for the role and couldn’t help but come off poorly, maybe someone with some womanly tits, a tan, and warmer demeanor (a Mediterranean chick or perhaps Sunny Leone on acting steroids) would have worked better. The story and dialogue seemed too busy laughing at itself and the sex, while fair enough, was poorly worked into the story so as a parody, it was the latest epic failure no matter who might kiss ass and state otherwise. I’m not going to bore you with all the details as to how someone with a knowledge of the characters might have helped here or even how many better trysts could have been had (Let’s see, an island full of Amazon babes and no men, check! Wonder Woman using her lasso to tie people up so they comply with her wishes, check! Dual identity chick screwing around to make up for lost time, check!) but with a handful of industry directors trying to elevate the genre with a slew of allegedly better efforts coming out in the near future, why waste time with a half assed shot in the dark such as this so I rated it as a Skip It unless you’re one of those slavering fanboy completists that adores the cast and can put blinders on regarding all the aspects that failed so harshly. In short, a project such as Wonder Woman XXX: A Hardcore Parody is an admittedly bold move for a newcomer director but out of all the superhero parody genre, it would write itself if given some thought, to the extent it reminded me of another female director that brags how she scribbles her stories on napkins over drinks for the fanboys to lap up like hounds. Again, sexually it was also on the generic side (every single female in the cast has done so much better elsewhere that it isn’t funny) but might work for sailors on shore leave but it was a far cry from most of the work observed by Mullen, Braun, or Myers; the three parody princes of the moment.