click for trailer

Grindhouse XXX (Student Assassin & Massacre At Pine Lake)

Adam & Eve

Genre: Features

Student Assassin

Director: David Lord

Cast: Teagan Presley, Nina Mercedez, Britney Amber, Derrick Pierce, India Summer, Seth Gamble
Non-sex roles: David Lord, Ren Savant, Eric Masterson, Jordan Lane, Crash, Barrett Blade, Alan, Ric Rodney, Kenneth B. Trevias, Angelica Raven, Katie Summers, Marco Antonio, Kaci Starr, Robert Brickman, Sparky Oklahoma, Kortney Kane

Nina Mercedez and Teagan Presley

Length: 64:00 minutes (the whole thing lasting 160:06 minutes thanks to the Easter Bunny trailer)

Date of Production: 2/2011

Brittney Amber with Derrick

Audio/Video Quality: Student Assassin was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director David Lord for Adam & Eve. The standard definition version had a decent bitrate and the look of the production was much like the ultra low budget grind house flicks from the 60’s and 70’s, given a film look with various special effects to lower the resolution in keeping with the tribute aspects of the original genre. The camerawork by David and Ren Savant appeared to be good, the editing by Shadow Bradley fitting this time with the requirements of the show (and the varied filters much better used here than in other productions). The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital using a 224 Kbps bitrate and the normal 48 kHz sampling rate, the vocals fair but again in keeping with the original productions in terms of the hollow nature of the vocals, the over the top ambient noises, and the various special aural effects used to mimic the long gone genre.

India Summer with Seth

Massacre At Pine Lake

Director: Andre Madness

Cast: Andy San Dimas, Ralph Long, Briana Blair, Rocco Reed, Alexis Ford, Mr. Pete
Non-sex roles: Eric Masterson, Lee Stone, D. Snoop, Jack Lawrence, Derrick Pierce, Ren Savant (voice over only)

Length: 92:37 minutes

click for Massacre trailer

Date of Production: 2/7/2011 & 2/8/2011

Extras: The main extra on the first disc (aside from a hilarious fake trailer) was an audio commentary. Starting off with the “Student Assassin” production, it came to light the show was shot in two days (but one of them was “really, really long” according to David). They skipped talking during the sex scenes but it was fun hearing some of the anecdotal information regarding the production. The second flick also had an audio commentary, David joining Andre to again show how much can be done in little time with proper planning. The second disc had unique extras for each movie, beginning with a 20:50 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Barrett Blade, a 2:56 minute Blooper Reel, 18:01 minutes of interviews, an internet trailer, and photogallery. The “Massacre” Behind the Scenes feature lasted 14:57 minutes, was followed by 7:29 minutes of Bloopers, also had an internet trailer and photogallery. There were trailers and spam but many of you will likely appreciate the two unrelated bonus scenes more, a 24:22 minute long scene from A-Team XXX and a 14:55 minute long scene from Lady Scarface both described below.

Condoms: None

Andy San Dimas with Ralph

Audio/Video Quality: Massacre At Pine Lake was presented in the usual 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Andre Madness for Adam & Eve. The movie was released as a standard definition disc, the enhancements offered by high definition perhaps less readily needed given the manner in which it was shot. In any case, the composition of the shots appeared to follow horror flick standards for the most part, the assistance of Eric Masterson as 1St director and Mark Nicholson in a variety of roles helping Andre achieve the proper look of the production (even if it was less of a grind house style project than “Student Assassin”). The lighting was generally decent though and there was little grain, the slightly artistic angle not as blatant as previous company efforts thankfully. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with 224 Kbps bitrate, 48 kHz sampling rate, and generally allowed all the vocals to be heard clearly, the musical score suitable for the uses to which it was confined. The dynamic range was average and the aural aspects of the show nicely blended the ambient noises with the musical score to come up with a pretty solid experience.

Briana Blair with Rocco

Body of Review: David Lord and Andre Madness are directors at Adam & Eve. Each has a style all their own, my usual preference being for David’s bigger budget releases. Together, they are responsible for the component parts of the company’s latest blockbuster release called Grindhouse XXX. The idea of the mainstream “grind house” genre is that low budget schlock flicks, typically exploitation movies shot on a dime with all sorts of offensive stereotypes, would play in the crappy theaters in major cities (and the nudity laden R-rated sex flicks at the drive in theaters). With the expansion of the home video market and cable, such places fell to the developers for the most part, some second run theaters still showing what amount to “cult” films (to be fair, there are a modest number of such places left, often showing Asian flicks with poor subtitles). In any case, if you’ve watched the more recent “Machete”, “Planet Terror”, and “Death Proof”, you will know the angle being reached at. This time, the flicks were “Student Assassin” starring lovely Teagan Presley by David Lord and “Massacre At Pine Lake” starring Alexis Ford by Andre Madness. A lot of folks considered the first porn features to be an extension of the grind house genre so it makes sense to offer up a tribute of sorts that allows for just enough sex and plot to give one the experience of the good old days, slightly updated with some strokable footage. I’m not going to ruin the plotted elements like others do these days but suffice it to say, the acting was every bit in touch with the genre and while “Student Assassin” was more in line with the genre (“Massacre” seemed more like the goofy horror flicks that took over as teen fodder), both worked here on their own merits. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Alexis Ford with Pete

Student Assassin

Scene One: Teagan Presley, the lovely young hotty featured on the cover of her title in the double feature, was up first as she showered with curvy babe Nina Mercedez. There was no build up, just the two of them rubbing together with suds all over them; the cameras using the look of the grind house exploitation flicks from my youth. The music also emulated the genre, the camera slowly panning to catch the couple going at it, the vocals fading in once a good gander of what was taking place was seen. They fingered and kissed, ate snatch and used toys, too bad a second lesbian tryst between the couple couldn’t have been shot (even as a bonus or something).

Scene Two: Britney Amber, wearing a short black dress on a matching couch as she pawed at Derrick Pierce, was up next as the two made out. The kiss turned into a bout of boob play, Derrick nuzzling her mammaries before going down on her. She reciprocated orally and then actively rode his cock on the couch, the guy nutting a wad of genetic juice all over her tits when they were finishing up. The energy and enthusiasm were decent (perhaps not as much as the previous scene with Teagan), meriting some replay value regardless of how much spunk was delivered.

The Extras Disc

Scene Three: India Summer, again playing the perfect teacher, was up last in the flick as Seth Gamble ate her snatch on the desk at the head of the classroom. They were already underway when a cop walked in, the ties to the movie plot as tenuous as most the sex would be in a grind house flick. Her blue blouse and black silk stockings looked good on her, her glasses giving her that certain look of authority needed to portray the role just right. The cunnilingus lasted for awhile and she returned the favor by slobbing his knob with gusto, actively riding his pecker vaginally in an assortment of positions that highlighted her perfect physique right up until he pulled out to bust a nut of spunk all over her abdomen.

Massacre At Pine Lake

Scene One: Andy San Dimas, playing a slutty camp counselor wearing booty shorts and a crop top on her lean frame, was up next as the first sex scene of the second movie in a horse stall with geeky Ralph Long. I’ll give him credit that he nailed the role and she came across as perfect for the stereotypical camp slut (as seen scores of times in low grade horror flicks back in the day), her desire to orally attack his package enhanced when his boner sprang forth when she worked his fly down. This led to an aggressive blowjob where her superior eye contact and hand to gland assistance enhanced the moment, Ralph working up his courage to play with her all natural boobs before porking her sweet little box. She was an active rider and they gave off a feel of a love connection, Ralph tossing off a round of splooge all over her ass to end it.

Scene Two: Briana Blair, a lean blonde wearing a full camp short and blue jean shorts, was up next on a creepy couch with Rocco Reed, his hands massaging her pussy as her clothing came off. The two lovebirds kissed and pawed each other in the fashion one might expect of someone in the role, his hands reaching for the ample implants she sported. The acting was just as bad as the rest of the movie but they did what came naturally in such a dandy fashion, her hummer much more extensive than his limited licking of her clitoris. This led to an active vaginal ride in several positions, Rocco rubbing out a wad of spew on her titty before she gave him some oral clean up.

Scene Three: Alexis Ford, the blonde contract cutie adorning the cover of this movie, was up last as she waited until tomorrow to blather on some expositional material in order to satisfy lover Mr. Pete. They were in bed and their friends were MIA, her splendid blowjob including a lot of eye contact and sultry moves that enhanced the replay value. The lighting was subdued here but it was easy to see Pete fingering her perfect pucker of an asshole, reddening her ass with some spanking before some very limited vaginal riding elicited a small load of semen to flow freely out of his dick. This was not the end of it though, Alexis licking it up and going back for sloppy seconds for some time as she rode him powerfully to a second orgasm where she knelt to receive his fluid offering into her mouth.

Bonus Scene: A-Team XXX: Chastity Lynn, Scotty Lyons: Chastity Lynn, a cute gal with an all natural rack, was up next with "Howling Mad Morecock" the crazy team member stuck in a mental hospital (played by Scotty Lyons). While he did not look much like Dwight Schultz, he seemed quite at home portraying a nutcase, especially when Chastity was sucking on his nuts. He helped her remove her outfit and sucked her tits, a few kisses and caresses leading to the lady slobbing his knob with a lot of energy. It was clear she has had a ot of dick in her mouth and made the most of what he had to offer, going for his balls at times until it was time to begin the vaginal plowing. He tapped into her very rapidly, refusing to let up as he hammered away on her cookie, her over the top yelling a distraction but the transition to anal done nicely. There had been some taste testing and she finished him off with her need for seed as he rubbed out a nut of population pudding to her mouth.

Bonus Scene: Lady Scarface: Ice LaFox, was up next in the restaurant wearing a form fitting pink dress that enhanced her curves nicely as she took care of nasty Rod Fontana. While his vocals throughout the movie were unintelligible, he managed to slip her the hot beef injection fairly well. He ate her, they vaginally screwed, she blew him without much chemistry, and they screwed some more. Her hummer was messy as the streamers flew everywhere and she at least impaled her all natural body on his cock with a purpose but he was having erection difficulties and that being the case, why should a fan watching at home think it was all that special if a guy getting laid by her was having issues? He slapped her fleshy ass and she took most of the pop to her mouth, though she did not appear to swallow any of it.

Summary: Grindhouse XXX by directors David Lord and Andre Madness for Adam & Eve was a wonderful homage to the grind house exploitation films of old, enhanced by the heated sexual trysts to be sure, in a manner that genre fans will certainly consider to be Highly Recommended. The stilted acting, the filters used to produce the old film look, and the balance between the sexual and feature elements served to give the double feature, double disc outing a lot of replay value for me. Alexis Ford was as hot as ever and Teagan Presley seemed almost too perfect for her role (maybe had she been born 30 years prior, she would have been a big name in the mainstream genre instead of porn), the length of the sexual encounters helping make their numeric quantity easier to swallow for me. In any case, while I’m not sure either of the two titles comprising Grindhouse XXX would have succeeded as a standalone release, together they offer the possibility for future projects along the same lines, perhaps not as great as the company’s big blockbusters but a welcome change of pace from the generic couples titles I’m used to. These can be looked at in two ways as well, either the uneasy humor indicative of the grind house genre or just as straightforward fuck flicks featuring some babes worth inspiring our spank banks so give it a look.