Not Charlie's Angels XXX
Genre: Parody
The Ladies
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Sunny Leone, Breanne Benson, Madison Ivy, Marcus London, Vicki Chase, Eric John, Lexi Swallow, Dirty Harry, Cassandra Cruz, Andy San Dimas, Seth Gamble, Heather Starlet, Eric Swiss
Non sex roles: Alana Evans, Kaitlin Rush, Chris Evans, James Bartholet, Dan Leal, Payton Leigh, Veronica Garcia, Freddy Boom Ya, Chad Diamond, Afro D.J. High-Me, Marty Bacardi; Madison Scott, Zeina Heart, Nicole Ray (last three in unrelated bonus solo scenes), and Ron Jeremy in a cameo during the credits
Length: 138:43 minutes
Dates of Production: 6/23/2010 to 6/30/2010
Extras: The first disc had a single main extra, the cast commentary where the director was joined by Andy San Dimas, Heather Starlet, and James Bartholet to make comments on the movie (all but Will seeing it for the first time according to their discussion). The second disc was where the real action was in regards to the extras, starting with a ton of Sitcum trailers and a photogallery. Then came a 27:43 minute long Behind the Scenes feature (they were also edited by Mark Dawop but shot by four separate guys) where a bunch of the scenes were highlighted, some of the stresses of shooting pissed off Will, and changes were made. The second Behind the Scenes feature lasted 27:00 minutes, some joking around, various text comments shown on the bottom of the screen to expand on background details, and more nudity. There was then 6:44 minutes of Bloopers and Outtakes, a 28:53 minute director/producer travelogue, Scott David and Will Ryder discussing their insights on the show (like how Randy Spears and Tommy Gunn ditched the production and needed to be replaced). Then came a 44:02 minute "story only" version of the movie (which seemed to be more compressed than the full version), the result helping remind me of some of the story continuity and elements in need of polishing up. Then came an old favorite in the form of a 4:35 minute director reel that was used previously to boost Will's chances at winning awards (it didn't work for me since his body of work was more than sufficient), a 10:36 minute interview with James Bartholet as well as a 7:08 minute interview with director Will Ryder. There was also a FSC commercial and a 13:55 travelogue for the Not Married with Children XXX I movie but called "bonus footage". Lastly, there were three bonus (but unrelated) solo sex scenes Madison Scott (10:31 minutes), Zeina Heart (10:05 minutes), and Nicole Ray (8:48 minutes), where the ladies used hands and plain vibrators to get off. While not technically an "extra", the front cover by Mike Hallquist had a Frampton look to it, music historians probably understanding the comment more than those currently in the industry.
Condoms: None
Audio/Video Quality: Not Charlie's Angels XXX was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Will Ryder for X-Play to be distributed by Digital Sin. It was a standard definition title encoded in MPEG-2, the 480 resolution providing enough picture quality to emulate a television show, the video bitrate hovering around the 6.2 Mbps but going substantially higher at times too. As with Will's other sitcums, there was an attempt to faithfully portray some of the technical aspects of the show from the music to the logo separating the acts to the pacing, this pornified version less accurate than the director's best works but better than most of his peers. I could point out various anachronisms like modern cars and money in the scenes or how the lighting in "Studio 54" was so much better than it was back in the day but it went beyond that. Still, as a stroke flick, it conveyed a sense of the show to hold the sex scenes together for those that don't simply fast forward through them. The editing by Mark Dawop seemed a bit rushed at times, catering more to the sexual exploits than the storyline, perhaps this also attributed to the deadlines involved in getting the movie done in time to be eligible for awards. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a laugh track, the 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps aural bitrate pretty standard by now. The vocals were nicely mixed into the stereo score, the impact elevating the audio qualities such that it was observed right away, the hopeful trend being to spend more time on this aspect of production by the leaders in the field. The theme music was similar enough for my tastes too, sounding close but not too close, courtesy of Ryder and Rock, known experts in the field. About half the music was tailored for the show while the rest came from company vaults, a nice step up from most parody efforts but also deadline inspired considering when it was shot and when it had to be pressed at the replicators.
Breanne Benson and Sunny Leone
Body of Review: Will Ryder and his work for X-Play have been at the top of the proverbial mountain in recent times when it comes to making porn parodies. While his peers have been playing catch up, Will and his partner Scott have been free to pick & choose projects of greater stature, further increasing their stature in the industry but others have certainly been doing their homework of late given their increasingly high quality. Not to be outdone, Will embarked on a pornified version of an iconic 70's television show, the result being Not Charlie's Angels XXX. Unlike the Hollywood movie updates that have been so tongue in cheek, the director tried to play this one straight with a trio of attractive ladies looking and acting nothing like their originals, reserving the strongest link to the show with James Bartholet as the Bosley character (he acted perfectly clueless) and the little technical touches few others think about. The good news is that the original was full of bad acting and cheesy dialogue so it was the perfect selection to pornify in a parody effort. The back cover described the movie like this: "The Angels get fucked, sucked and totally banged in this fantastic porn parody of the classic television show. Director Will Ryder (Not the Bradys XXX) delivers the most entertaining porn movie of the year as beautiful horny girls come face-to-face with dangerous sex-crazed situations. Popular dancers disappear from Studio 54 and the Angels are called to investigate but they find themselves in the middle of a cocaine & sex-slave trafficking operation amidst the backdrop of glamorous Studio 54 in New York. What results is a wild ride of dick sucking, ass-licking, pussy eating and hardcore fucking!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:
Madison Ivy with Marcus London
Scene One: Sunny Leone, the hotty brunette seen featured on the left side of the front cover, was up first on the couch in a lesbian scene with curvy blond Breanne Benson. They kissed and caressed each other, their already revealing outfits not lasting too long as they came off for greater access to tit and twat, Breanne getting rough with some nipple tweaking. While there was some toy use at the end of the scene for vaginal penetration, most of the time fingers were used with taste testing included. It was a fairly paint by numbers lesbian scene between two very attractive women, the lack of personal chemistry not weakening their relative enthusiasm for their work.
Vicki Chase with Eric John
Scene Two: Madison Ivy, a cute blond wearing a revealing and colorful go-go outfit, was up next kneeling before a seated Marcus London, sucking his pecker aggressively in a playful manner at his desk. He reciprocated by snacking on her crack, the two then engaging in various positions of vaginal penetration. She was passive until riding on top of him, the gal really taking off as he banged her balls deep. There was some minor taste testing and he gave her a small load of genetic juice to her mouth, the short scene also lacking on chemistry.
Lexi Swallow with Dirty Harry
Scene Three: Vicki Chase, a seductive Latina wearing a colorful dress, was up next as she hooked up with Eric John on the dance floor, what would have been a threesome (or foursome given a possible second male partner, Chad Diamond) ending up with the couple going to the ladies room where she sucked him off actively while kneeling before him. She throated him like a seasoned professional, neither of them caring about the onlookers surrounding them or the comic relief added thanks to some sound effects (courtesy flush anyone?). The gal remained active during the POV footage, slobbing his knob in a fetching manner, jerking him off to add some friction. Eric then went down on her after removing her panties, nibbling and tonguing her while beating off, some spitting to add lubricant. She moaned a bit too much and was initially passive during her vaginal positions, coming around to impale herself soundly when she was on top of his lap. That was where she really shined, Vicki bouncing on his dick until jumping off to receive his stroked off facial of population pudding all over her mug. She then provided some post coital head, making it the best scene of the batch to this point in the movie.
Cassandra Cruz and Andy San Dimas with Seth Gamble
Scene Four: Lexi Swallow, the busty blond seen on the center of the front cover, was up next as she picked up from where she left off before the previous scene, sucking nasty old Dirty Harry to gather intelligence. In the spirit of taking one for the team, she gave him a short hummer before he ate her nearly hairless pussy, his sleaze ball crook character fitting his look perfectly. Lexi gave the usual moans but there was no connection between them (either real or portrayed), the gal reclining on his desk as Harry licked her mechanically. They then moved into some vaginal penetration, Lexi another one putting in her best effort when on top of the guy as she rubbed her clitoris. He then bust a nut of spunk on her face, Lexi treating it like it was toxic sludge.
Heather Starlett
Scene Five: Cassandra Cruz, Andy San Dimas, and Seth Gamble, were up next in the hotel room bed as Angel Andy pumped them for information on the missing girls. Andy is the attractive brunette seen on the right side of the front cover, her stature in porn increasing the more she gets away from alt-porn styled projects. This time, all three of the characters wore colorful outfits but none of them stayed on long enough to matter, Seth going down on Cassandra while Andy rubbed her chest and caressed her thighs. Andy then kissed Seth as Cassandra pulled out his cock, both gals double teaming him orally though only Andy provided any significant eye contact with him on a regular basis. The blowjob was one of the best in the movie, the ladies slurping on his nuts and rod like they were on the bonus plan, some POV footage in the lying down position included too. There was some minor lesbian action as well but the vaginal penetration positions were inconsistently active, at least the ladies showed they were willing to do some taste testing along the way. Andy was the more consistent rider of the two here, shaking her ass as she took his pecker deep inside of her pussy, eventually even jerking him off all over Cassandra's crotch when he couldn't hold off any more. The ladies then cleaned him off orally.
The Extras
Scene Six: Heather Starlet, a lean blond that was under contract for a very short time, was up last on a couch with Eric Swiss, no build up included as she sat on his lap while he drilled her vaginally. Her all natural tits bounced as she took what he offered, slowly becoming more active as she warmed up. Her pussy was already mighty puffy but that was explained in the BTS and commentary, the gal pretty worn out by the time the scene was shot. She then knelt before him to clean him off orally, the blowjob leading to some lube being applied and more passive vaginal screwing taking place. She did try to give him some eye contact and the impression I had was that they had some chemistry together, Eric rubbing out his nut of semen to her mouth though she refused to swallow it.
Media Accolades and Ron Jeremy
Summary: Not Charlie's Angels XXX by director Will Ryder for X-Play had many of the elements that made it look like the original show at times and all of the ladies looked physically appealing. The technical matters were nicely done and the music was once again a strong point, the sex scenes a little too light in most cases and lacking chemistry to be the best of the best. Still, it is clear to see why Digital Sin picked this one up to distribute even if it wasn't their very strongest parody of the last year (let's face it, the company has been hitting a lot of homeruns of late), the title meriting a rating of Recommended or better, depending on how much you favor the cast. In short, Not Charlie's Angels XXX was an above average parody that most will find appealing, babes like Sunny Leone, Andy San Dimas, and Lexi Swallow having some fun in their lead roles, the director's script touching on many of the same quirks the original show used so very often. If you look closely enough, you will likely find a number of anachronisms and issues that could have been addressed but ultimately, genre fans will certainly find a lot to enjoy here all the same.
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