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The Human Sexipede [First Sequence A Porn Parody]

Tom Byron Pictures

Genre: Parody

Director: Lee Roy Myers

Cast: Sunny Lane, Danica Dillan, Amber Rayne, Tom Byron, Jynx Maze, Evan Stone, Jordan Ash, Kaci Starr, Keni Styles

Length: 135:35 minutes

Sunny Lane and Danica Dillan

Date of Production: 8/6/2010

Extras: There was an 11:16 minute long set of interviews and BTS footage, adding some value to the show. There was also a set of trailers, two photogalleries, and some spam (as well as a slip cover for the case).

Condoms: None

Amber Rayne with Tom Byron

Audio/Video Quality: The Human Sexipede was presented in a sharp looking 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen picture as shot by director Lee Roy Myers for Tom Byron Pictures using the MPEG-2 codec with 480 resolution. The movie took what most consider being among the crappiest mainstream horror flicks of the last ten years and pornified it to be better than the original. There were few compression artifacts and the video bitrate seemed to hover around the 4.3 Mbps, the fluid camerawork not even close to the technical attributes of the original but still a step up from many of the sitcum parodies on the market at this writing. The editing by Lee and Honey Myers was better than the original too, enhancing the final product and while it hardly compared to some of Myers most recent efforts, fans of the genre should be pleased even if the original movie slipped by them like the vast majority of people in the world. The SD audio was presented in a standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 192 Kbps bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, no separation between the channels, a limited dynamic range, and moody music like the original helped make it stand apart from weaker efforts. In all then, the movie was a cute send up to a terrible movie, the technical aspects capably handled and up to Myers' usual standards in most ways, the material thankfully not a mimic of the original flick too closely (making it far more watchable to me).

Jynx Maze

Body of Review: Lee Roy Myers has become one of the princes of parodies in recent times, his work for NS/DS helping to propel him into the very small clique of porn directors able to routinely make such parodies work. Now that he has left the company, he is a free agent for hire, even making a movie for Tom Byron Pictures a few months ago (just in time for the awards deadline!). The title of the movie was The Human Sexipede, pornifying a truly lame horror flick and adding enough humor thanks in no small part to the leading role of mad scientist played by Tom Byron himself, the wayward traveling gals played by hotty Sunny Lane and cute Danica Dillan. I won't torture you with the plot, suffice it to say that the travelers are captured and made part of a bizarre sexual experiment, the show containing some decent sex as it kept close to the original show. The back cover described the movie like this: "Tom Byron Pictures presents the most controversial porn parody ever made - The Human Sexipede! In this funny & sexy spoof of one of the most disturbing horror films of all time, three horny tourists vacationing in Germany go out looking for a really good time. Instead, the venturous individuals end up being guinea pigs in the Mad Sexual Educator's twisted experiment to create The Human Sexipede, which is accomplished via sewing three people together - mouth to genitals. The Human Sexipede will suck you in and leave you hungry for more." Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Kaci Starr

Scene One: Sunny Lane, the blond babe seen on the front cover, was up first with also hot brunette Danica Dillan (next to her on the cover), in a lesbian scene. They were on a large bed and bemoaning the lack of straight males in Germany, their suitcase full of sex toys helping them realize that they had plenty to appreciate right there. The gals kissed and caressed each other, removing bras and traveling attire to get down to business. The ladies liked titty play and fingering, going down on each other ever so playfully with a little rimming included for kicks. Sunny looked especially sexy with her head down and ass in the air, some toys used for vaginal penetration until the ladies rubbed labia against one another. The two seemed to have some chemistry and enthusiasm for one another, their lesbian antics strokable throughout the scene.

Danica Dillan and Sunny Lane

Scene Two: Amber Rayne, a lean gal with well established acting chops, was up next with Tom Byron, the guy eating her out as she spread her legs on a medical bed. She pulled her panties to the side and he chowed down in earnest, rimming her before she orally attacked his erection with a nice compliment of blowjob skills. Her enthusiasm was off the charts and she throated him with ease, some active vaginal positions and taste testing later relieving him of his wealth of genetic juice as he beat off all over her entire torso.

Scene Three: Jynx Maze, a sexy little newcomer with a perfectly shaven snatch, was up next in a flashback sequence with the mighty Evan Stone and moper Jordan Ash in bed. Evan ate her out and vaginally plowed her as she slobbed the knob of Jordan, the gal an active rider with a sweet ass (that rippled delightfully as she impaled herself on cock). She took turns blowing them and allowing them access to her pussy, one load of population pudding gracing her face while the other landed all over her crotch and stomach.

Scene Four: Kaci Starr, a lean brunette with a girl next door appeal to her, was up next in a small bedroom with Keni Styles, the two young lovers kissing as they took off their street attire. He sucked her tits and helped her pull down her panties, nuzzling her ass and going down on her as she bent over. She looked mighty appealing to me too at this point and they ended up in a 69 so she could reward his oral diligence, her active hummer only including about half his pecker most of the time though she made attempts to fully service him. Her eye contact with him helped elevate the quality of the scene and the messy knob slobbing was passionate, Keni soon banging her furry twat in several positions that she was occasionally active in. The scene ended when he jerked off to her tits and face, his spunk rubbed into her body as she savored her moment of triumph.

Scene Five: Sunny Lane, Danica Dillan, and Keni Styles, were up last in the laboratory, the gals initiating things orally with each other before he joined in to snack on Sunny's sweet crack. Sunny was already busy going down on Danica, Danica getting into a 69 with the guy as Sunny assisted orally. The ladies then took turns vaginally riding his dick, Sunny's fine ass shaking as she bounced on his pecker hard. The lighting was weird but appropriate for the medical setting, the dirty talk deployed by the trio centering mainly on Sunny getting loud. There was also a lot of taste testing as the ladies licked and sucked his cock clean out of each other's pussy, Keni rubbing out a nut on their asses as they bent over before him.

Summary: The Human Sexipede by director Lee Roy Myers for Tom Byron Pictures was an admittedly disturbing fuck flick but the acting was just as good as the original, the premise a lot more interesting, and even as a stroke flick it merited a rating of Recommended. While I would be the first person to suggest parodying shows more suitable for pornifying, there is a large group of fans out there into horror so making a parody of a nontraditional title might be just what helps Lee set himself apart from those that take the relatively boring route of predictable works. As far as Tom's role is concerned, he managed to play it just right as he balanced the crazy mad scientist with enough humor to keep from creeping me out, the cast of ladies a definite plus in many ways too. In short, The Human Sexipede pulled off the kind of turnabout you don't often see in porn, the porn version surpassing the mainstream version on several levels thanks to a great technical cast as well as a winning group of performers that worked so well together.