click for trailer

Love Boat XXX

Adam & Eve

Genre: Parody

Director: Will Ryder

Cast: Kendall Karson, Tyler Nixon, Sunny Lane, Penny Pax, Seth Gamble, Capri Cavanni, Kurt Lockwood, Gia Grace, Steve Nelson, Tee Reel, Jessa Rhodes, Evan Stone
Non sex or limited sex roles: Ron Jeremy, James Bartholet, Will Ryder, Nikki Daniels, Selma Sins, Nikki Chase, Liv Aguilera, Lucky Starr, Kevin Wang

Length: 131:56 minutes

Date of Production: 2012

Extras: The best related extra was the 35:38 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. There were interviews, additional clips from the movie, and a lot of true BTS material rather than just some lame photoshoots. The best unrelated extra was the bonus scene between India Summer and Michael Vegas taken from Secrets of Sex Island lasting 10:38 minutes. There was a photogallery, some trailers, spam, and web information as well.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Love Boat XXX was presented in anamorphic widescreen color as shot by director Will Ryder for Adam & Eve. With Cyrus Weatherbee handling film, CGI, & sound editing, the story written by the director, Miles Long assisting Will Ryder on camera work, Scott David taking care of art direction, fashions, and hair, DG Sound as the sound operator, XXX Ray helping Will & David on set design, Fliktor caring for lighting, the production was well done. The visuals were largely clear and the bitrate not hurting any time I spot checked it. The composition of the camera angles and lighting of each moment had some variation but it all seemed intentional, the establishing shots and green screen effects helping to boost the final outcome too. The aural components were offered up in 224 Kbps Dolby Digital, Rock Hardson, Jeff Mullen, Sinned, Tori Ruffin, Charlie Redd, and Lotta Dees, providing a very solid soundalike theme sound as well as 70’s period music.

Body of Review: Will Ryder has long been known as the most consistent directors when it came to porn parodies, surpassing all of his peers in terms of directing comedic releases in the genre for companies Adam & Eve. His latest winner is called Love Boat XXX, the parody copying key elements of the 70’s television show that gave a huge boost to cruise lines across the globe. In the original, which has been parodied before though not half as well, every week would find a selection of guest stars trying to hook up, their trials and tribulations balanced against the secondary plots of the crew’s zany antics. This parody took a few pages from book of the original with some fine casting, my biggest nod going to lovely Sunny Lane as Julie, the entertainment director. Tee Reel made for a fun Isaac, the bartender, Kurt Lockwood gave a welcome performance as the ship’s horny older doctor, and media kingpin Steve Nelson wowed us all as Captain Stubbing, some cameo roles by Ron Jeremy, Will Ryder, and James Bartholet helping flesh things out as well.

The company press release described the movie like this: “Adam & Eve Pictures rocks the boat with Love Boat XXX A Parody as fans of classic television get ready to set sail September 24th with a spirited sexual poke at Aaron Spelling's popular television show The Love Boat which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Directed by comedy master Will Ryder, the feature movie spoof has the look and feel of the popular TV show but allows the viewer a chance to enter private cabins and passageways where crew members interact with passengers without their uniforms or bathing suits. "We did exactly what we've become well-known for and took a classic television show and let the characters have wild sex in a parody environment," stated Will Ryder. "I couldn't be happier with how it turned out because not only is it funny and sexy, it looks exactly like an episode of The Love Boat TV show. If he were alive today, I would hope that Aaron Spelling might be happy with how this turned out." Ryder optimistically reflected. The movie stars some of the most beautiful and sexually charged girls in the adult movie business including Sunny Lane, Capri Cavanni, Jessa Rhodes, Penny Pax, Kendall Karson and Gia Grace. Sexing them up are Captain Stubing, Gopher, Isaac the Bartender, and Doc played by Steve Nelson, Tyler Nixon, Tee Reel and Kurt Lockwood respectively. Evan Stone, Seth Gamble, Kevin Wang, Will Ryder, Ron Jeremy and James Bartholet play the male passengers. Sexy female passengers include Nikki Daniels, Lucky Star, Selma Sins, Nikki Chase and Liv Aguilera. "It's our goal to make the viewer feel like they are on a big cruise ship out on the high-seas witnessing all of this comedy and sex," stated co-producer Scott David of X-Play which produced this movie for Adam & Eve Pictures. "We thank Adam & Eve Pictures for bringing us on board to make this fun movie." The movie is so good that Ryder thinks it has a chance to sail away with some big awards this year. "If accuracy is any measure of a good parody, then this is pretty damn impressive and if another director had made this movie, I might be a bit jealous." Love Boat XXX a Parody is not endorsed or sponsored by ABC Television, Aaron Spelling Productions, Douglas S. Cramer, Jeraldine Saunders, Carnival Cruise Lines, Princess Cruises, Royal Viking Cruise Lines, The Pacific Princess, Royal Viking Sky, Gavin MacLeod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Lauren Tewes, Jill Whelan or any actor, writer, producer, director, ship, tug boat or their estates or assignees. Love Boat XXX A Parody will be released on DVD September 24th.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Kendall Karson, a busty brunette in a colorful blue dress, was up first in her cabin with lucky Tyler “Gopher” Nixon, asking him if he wanted to be her personal fuck slave since she hadn’t had any in two whole weeks. He chowed down on her rug after removing her orange panties, gobbling her gash with relish as the bald beaver dripped her juices. She then blew him aggressively, slobbing the knob with some hand to gland friction though only sucking the top few inches of his pecker in POV. They vaginally fucked in doggy and an active cowgirl before some spooning and missionary finished him off, his genetic juice tossed onto her crotch as the puffy pussy claimed its reward. I liked her eye contact and enthusiasm even if she was over the top a bit much.

Scene Two: Sunny Lane, Penny Pax, and Seth Gamble were up next with an insider joke regarding his identity. Penny initiated the sex by blowing him, Sunny joining in to take over the entire scene from her with some playful double teaming of the blowjob. As far as I was concerned, Sunny could have been the only lady in the cast and I’d be happy, her newly thick curves fleshing out her ass really well. In any case, Penny excused herself to get some booze, leaving the ship’s entertainment director to embrace the incognito star on her bed, some boob play and ass slapping readying Sunny’s ripe rump for some dirty play, though this was another vaginal penetration scene (a shame though her colorful thong looked awesome separating her juicy ass cheeks). He reciprocated on her mostly bald beaver (just a tough of light pubes about her clitoris) after the hummer, the series of positions not allowing her to give as much eye contact though she did as she was able from what I could tell. She was an active rider and any Sunny Lane is better than most anybody else given her lengthy hiatus from the industry. In any case, she impaled herself in the cowgirl variations and the wad of population pudding was jerked all over her crotch and torso.

Scene Three: Capri Cavanni, a visually stunning hotty, was up next in the doctor’s office, Kurt Lockwood portraying the horny doctor ready to give her a thorough examination. Lockwood’s return to porn after a hiatus of his own has not been as well received as Sunny’s but I’ll give the guy credit that he seems to be doing much better these days in his feature roles. Capri came on to him and kissed the guy, his older appearance working well with the scene as she made it clear that she only wanted sex, not any medical services. He rimmed her at length and her yummy, heart shaped ass loved the attention, Capri giving him some POV head though only taking about half his turgid cock’s length into her mouth. This led to a titty fuck where her eye contact was great, her light pubic hair not getting in the way as he plowed her fertile field rapidly while she screamed. He went back down on her and kissed her some more too, the gal best when doing cowgirl as he rubbed her perfect pucker, though no anal penetration was included. It ended when he bather her tits in spunk, feeding Capri a sample of his baby batter before he was called away to duty.

Scene Four: Gia Grace, a curvy Asian gal with decent boobs, was up next as she tried to gather intel on the mystery passenger from scene two, Steve “Captain Stubbing” Nelson using the situation to get some love from her via his supposed connection to the guy. She sought to impress the Captain into conveying the information so she was all over his cock as he reclined on the bed during their date. She worked him over and frankly, he did a far better job than I would have thought possible for the guy, but I was forgetting his numerous roles long ago before he became a media mogul in the blog world. While this was a blowjob only scene, Gia showed she was no stranger to slobbing a knob, using her hands and mouth in unison to go full force on his rod until he bust a nut of splooge all over welcoming face, her cute ass left hanging in the air.

Scene Five: Penny Pax, playing the Captain’s daughter, was up next in a red dress as she sought to get some booze from Tee Reel, his look as Isaac kind of wanting but his comments close enough to bring a smile as he closed the bar down to do her. He had her dress off in moments, her polka dotted panties following suit as he knelt between her legs to lick her bald slit. Penny liked the darker fellow doing his best work in a long time, the gal taking in just over half his cock during her oral reciprocation on her knees to ready him for the porking session. She stroked his shaft and mounted him slowly, building up some tempo as she actively ride his cock soundly. They continued banging until he deposited a wealth of ball batter on her face, Penny licking it up to a degree before giving him a playful kiss on his piss hole.

Scene Six: Jessa Rhodes, a lean blond newcomer, was up last as she jumped on Evan Stone, his initial partner seeking greener pastures elsewhere (scene three) though some minor clips of sexual misconduct were shown throughout the show. Jessa had a shaven snatch and he tended to it nicely, going down on her as she spread her legs wide, her moaning a lot softer than most of her peers who seemed to equate volume with believability. She caressed his hair and her body as he continued, the gal giving him a saliva ridden hummer that was big on handjob action and limited on depth of penetration of her mouth. Still, the fuck bunny knew what she was doing, getting him ready for the active vaginal riding she provided on the bed, her pussy polishing his shaft in several positions (my favorite was in doggy with her fine ass in the air), the couple grinding as he shoved himself in as far as he could go until the ending facial of baby batter landed all over her upper torso and chin.

Summary: Love Boat XXX by director Will Ryder for Adam & Eve might not have been as inspired as the director’s release of the Wizard of Oz XXX parody earlier this year but it was a great deal of fun and true to the original in many more ways than most of his peers ever try to achieve. There was ample eye candy and special effects to make the production look real but it was the casting of people like Sunny Lane, Steve Nelson, and yes, Kurt Lockwood, that made the show’s feature elements work quite so well. The sex scenes were good enough to provide some solid replay value and strokability too, the movie easy to suggest as Recommended for a general audience and even boost up to a Highly Recommended for porn parody lovers who have been left hanging all too often of late by the usual directors. In short then, Love Boat XXX might not have offered up the musical genius of Will’s “Wizard of Oz XXX” parody but in many ways, it surpassed it as being truer to the source material and providing a cast as good as Sunny Lane, Penny Pax, Capri Cavanni, Kendall Karson, Gia Grace, and Jessa Rhodes, so give this one some serious consideration if you are looking at strokable porn parodies to award with your hard earned money, time, and seed.