Suck It!
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Release date:
May 1, 2015 -
Runtime:
2h 0m -
Cast:
Riley Reid, Britney Amber, Nikki Delano, Rikki Six, Karina White
Category: Blowjob
Studio:
Cast:Riley Reid/Zoey Monroe/Lily Banks/Rikki Six/Britney Amber/Nikki Delano/Karina White/Nikki Blake/Aubrey James/Natalia Robles/Syndee Taylor/Avril Hall/Chad Diamond/Travis Vurjak/Ike Diezel/Scott Lyons/Porno Dan
Director: Uncredited/Porno Dan
Extras: Slideshow Stills
Release Date: 5/1/2015
Runtime: 120 Mins
Click on the photo above for more info on 'Suck It'!
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*Scene 1: (Cocksucking Challenge 18 - Scene 1)
Riley Reid/Britney Amber/Nikki Delano
The premiere scene in Suck It from Ace in the Hole Productions kicks off as though it's already been playing for 20 minutes, with an abrupt wide angle of Britney Amber and Nikki Delano already in mid-blowjob form as Riley Reid and the great Porno Dan have a sloppy makeout sesh on the couch in the center of the action. The introductory moments consist of the cameraman saying "trying to get all the cocks in one shot", while filming aimlessly, with the entire scene being shot with minimal forethought and taking place in a dingy lair that gives me flashbacks of some previous Porno Dan movies I've had the unfortunate privilege of reviewing in the recent past. It's all filmed more like a BTS segment than anything, having a sporadic fuck-sesh between Britney and Leal in the middle stages but mostly featuring the girls involved trying to make something out of nothing as they suck the random cocks involved until all of them spout their juices over the girls faces. Leal is the first of the trio to bust his nuts; directly after his fuck-sesh with Britney he churns out some drips of jizz over Riley Reid's glasses, with a deepthroat contest coming next before the finale cocksucking commences. Eventually all of the cocks blow over the girls faces, with Riley being standout in the scene but it was essentially all for not; this scene was as bad as you can imagine, calling it second-rate porn would be a compliment. However, if you like random dudes getting sucked off in a dungeon-like area with bad camerawork and poor audio it'll be right up your alley.
*Scene 2: (Cocksucking Challenge 20 - Scene 2)
Karina White/Rikki Six
The next scene begins much like the previous one, with a confused Karina White wondering what the hell's going on (much like I am), as the camera guy tells her to go suck guy #2's dick. Rikki Six is already going to town on Ike Diezel in the midst of all this, as the silence of the room allows us only to hear the buzzing background noise, like their shooting this in the boiler room of a library and they don't want to alarm any of the patrons. Things progress in pretty awful fashion as Karina and Rikki lifelessly suck their stunt cocks off (three in total) before the guys separately shoot their loads over the girls' faces, with Diezel's being the most notable of the three. There's some muff-munching from Leal in the early stages of the scene that offers a bit of contrast, but the scene's so bad that there's really nothing to mention aside from simply describing the mess as it unravels. Another massive dud here; the poor lighting and negligent action does no favors for anyone involved. This scene was even worse than the first one.
*Scene 3: (Cocksucking Challenge 18 - Scene 3 & Scene 2)
Nikki Blake/Aubrey James/Natalia Robles/Rikki Six/Jodi Taylor/Naomi West
Next is another three girl effort, kicking off in typical Porno Dan fashion as Nikki Blake, Aubrey James, and Natalia Robles lethargically suck off two dudes while the guy holding the camera tells them how great they're doing. Aubrey seems to be holding her own on the couch with dude #1, while the camera makes a poor attempt to capture all of the action as Ike Diezel gets a double dose of dicksucks from Natalia and Nikki. The scene has essentially nothing notable to speak of, with the dry pops of the girls mouths being the only thing the viewer hears aside from the trademark hum of Dan Leal's porno-lair whizzing like white noise in the background. Eventually they get out the sybian to break the silence, as Natalia takes a ride on it and sucks off one of the cocks to completion, followed by Nikki and Aubrey trying their damndest to put this scene out of it's misery. You can actually hear one of the cock providers yawning in the latter stages, as the conversation from behind the camera tends to capture my attention more so than what's happening on screen. Once we get about 25 minutes through, there's a massive "what the fuck" moment as the camera abruptly cuts to Rikki Six in a 69 fuck with Dan Leal, now showing a completely diferent scene altogether with Rikki, Jodi Taylor, and Naomi West. Classis Porno Dan editing here, folks. It all ends randomly after around 10 minutes as we see Jodi, Rikki, and Naomi encircling dude #3 and sucking his dick before abruptly cutting into the fourth scene. I can't.
*Scene 4: (Cocksucking Challenge 20 - Scene 3)
Syndee Taylor/Avril Hall
Next up are Avril Hall and Syndee Taylor, opening up the scene butt-naked as cock #1 jiggles himself and Syndee dives on his dong face-first to initiate the action. Meanwhile, we pan over to Avril Hall who's giving a sensual blow-j to her co-star while giving some camera interaction that makes for the first hot millisecond of this entire movie. The buzzing of a motorcycle rolls through the background as the introductory moments continue, with the scene unraveling much like it's sub-par predecessors, featuring some lackluster dildo play in the later stages and a lifeless vibe that seriously makes me question what the fuck these people are thinking trying to actually pawn this off to their viewers. Holy fuck. Things progress in an unwatchable manner, ending with the proverbial load-spurting to the face, three in total and one cut off as Avril Hall is sucking him off just as he's moaning in cumshot bliss. Lol. Yay. Another awful scene to add to the collection; in the end stages Scott Lyons had to say, "Look....HEY!!" to the dude holding the camera in order to get his attention for his cumshot. Looks like he's about as interested in this scene as the viewers will be.
*Scene 5: (Cocksucking Challenge 21 - Scene 2)
Zoey monroe/Lily Banks
Zoey Monroe and Lily Banks encapsulate our view for what is thankfully the final scene in this ridiculous excuse for a porn movie, running through the rigor of what every other scene has given us so far. It begins in the same mundane way as the others, as two naked girls suck two dudes off and give expressions like they can't wait to get to wherever they're going after this scene. I think Zoey's expression in the screencap posted above this paragraph probably sums up my thoughts toward this entire movie, but I digress. This segment is essentially a carbon copy of the others, with Porno Dan jumping in to cum on his choice of the girls, along with a haphazard style of filming and performing that closes with the girls getting a few drizzles of jizz over their faces as they smile make in an effort to rationalize why the hell they're doing this movie. A great scene to cap off this movie, I can now throw it in the garbage.
*Summary:
Dan Leal's Suck It from Ace in the Hole productions, distributed by Pureplay Media is an awful excuse for a porn movie. It makes a weak attempt to disguise itself as a new film, but it's really just a regurgitated collection of scenes from the Immoral crew, taken from various installments of Porno Dan's Cocksucking Challenge series. The movie left me with the same "why did I just waste my time writing this review" feeling that every other one of his movies has, and the two hours of my life that I had to waste in order to view it rank right up there with some of the worst hours I've had in my porn reviewing career. It's uninspired, poorly edited garbage that has no redeeming value whatsoever. Whoever assembled this boxcover didn't even have the consideration to list all of the performers on it, it just says "plus 8 more blowjob experts". But in truth, they weren't even counting the three girls who randomly appeared in the third scene, so there are actually 11 extra blowjob experts. Also, if this is the film in which those experts have chosen to show off their expertise, then I think it's pretty much a sham because I saw no expert dicksucking of any kind in this movie. NONE. In all honesty though, the joke is on the person who buys this DVD. Why anyone ever would is a mystery to me but I digress. The one thing that I can credit the film for is having a pretty strong cast of ladies to attract fans to it, but unfortunately I don't think that the scenes in this film are really indicative of what those girls are capable of. If I could give one piece of advice to the guys at Ace in the Hole Productions (considering they were the ones that edited the film), I'd ask that they perhaps run through the movie and make sure the entire thing is actually what's advertised. I don't even think that the picture of Riley Reid on the boxcover is a shot from this fucking movie. If all of what I have written is still not enough for you to realize that this movie is nowhere near worth your money, then I don't know what to tell you. In closing, I didn't like it. It wasn't good. Skip It.