First Impressions:
T-shirt impresario turned director Mofo is DVSX's latest first time filmmaker and, typical of most entries into the world of wantonness, our flesh peddler hopes to make an impression. With Sick Girls Need Sick Boys, our man Mo more or less succeeds. Though the premise for each of the six scenes is kind of lame at best (modern smut really doesn't need fake set-ups to get people shagging anymore), what this filmmaker understands is the far more important dynamic of individual chemistry. If your actors look like they'd rather be getting a high colonic than making love to their onscreen partner, you aren't going to get a lot of arousal from the audience. But even in his first effort, that freak Fo is an expert in pairing poon with peter. All six scenes offer up wonderful ardor between the actors and said sex vibe comes cascading off the screen. It's enough to get your loins good and lubricated.

The Sex Scenes:
In a word - smoking! In another word, wild and very aggressive. Mofo has matched up his capable ladies with a series of serious lads to deliver dicking that's fiery and fierce. Yet it never really goes over the edge into something disturbing or damaging. Mofo knows how to pull it back, to keep the porn powerful yet playful. Though his cast does not consist of classic hotties or hunks, he gets the most babe bang for his boy buck and the overall effect is enticing and inviting. There is only one less than successful scene here. The rest are erotic and risqué. Let's look at them individually and see what they have to offer. We begin with:

Scene 1: Olivia O'Lovely, Nat Turner
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Lap Dance, Kissing, Blowjob, Ball Action, Cowgirl, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, Pile Driver, $hot on Ass, Spunk Sampling
Score: 3 out of 5

It is nice to see someone with a little more junk in their trunk than the average anorexia victim that is usually trotted out for the tasting. Olivia is brazen and obviously bootylicious to Nat, and when the couple get copulating, you can literally sense the meat heat. This interracial roundelay is really excellent, with a good collection of positions and lots of banter and believability between the pair. The only thing hindering this hump-a-thon is the lack of butt balling. How Mr. Turner can turn down this tushy is a major mystery. Maybe Ms. O'Lovely wasn't giving up the anus. Had there been ass antics, this would easily be one of the best scenes in the set.

Scene 2: Katrina Kravens, Alana Evans
Acts Performed: Kissing, Tit Play, Fingering, Salad Tossing, Ass Slapping, Cunnilingus, Toy Action, Doggy, Mish, V to M, Police Baton Action, Anal Doggy, A to M
Score: 2.5 out of 5

In general, girl/girl is boring. Even if there are toys, strap-ons and massive amounts of squirting, there is just too much fantasy and not enough fucking in your average lesbian scene. Thankfully, Kartina and Alana seem to avoid many of the machinations that make gal-on-gal groan inducing, and give this same sex sequences a nice slice of Eros. Said steam mostly comes from the aggressive manner in which they kiss and tongue each other. You can almost believe that they are getting lost in the lust of the act and have forgotten that they are being captured on film. Such a private, personal intimacy makes what is usually lamentable into something almost palpable. This is one of the best Sappho sequences the Dirge has seen in recent months.

Scene 3: Missy Monroe, Lee Stone
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Glass Dildo Action, Blowjob, Acrobatic 69, Face Fucking, Standing Scissors, Squirting, Cowgirl, Anal Mish, Anal Standing Scissors, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, A to M, Anal Cowgirl, Anal Doggy, $hot in Mouth
Score: 4 out of 5

Here is a perfect example of what MoFo does so well. Missy is an attractive blond. Lee is a lantern-jawed muscleman. Put them together and you've already got a great looking couple. Now, watch out as these freaks fuck like there's no tomorrow. Ms. Monroe literally splashes the camera from about 10 feet away as she lets loose a load of her love juices, and all Lee can do is dig in and drain off some more. This is full throttle porking, with lots of action and tons of passion. These performers really deliver, making this the best scene of the entire set.

Scene 4: Lexi Love, Reno
Acts Performed: Bondage Gear, Ball Gag, Blind Fold, Riding Crop Play. Duct Tape to Nipples, Masturbation w/Dildo, V to M, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Ball Action, Reverse Cowgirl, Squirting, Doggy, Mish, $hot to Mouth
Score: 3 out of 5

If you relish some erotic pseudo-bondage - nothing too strong but with much of the fetish fun left in - you'll enjoy this scene between Lexi and Reno. It starts out with lots of tease, including inventive uses for a riding crop and duct tape. When they decide to start drilling, this duo gets down and dirty and really puts on the pound. There is more gal gushing, some nice reverse cowgirl riding, and a messy mouth money shot that seals the entire sequence with a warm, spunk-filled kiss.

Scene 5: Gianna Lynn, Cheyne Collins
Acts Performed: Masturbation w/Dildo, V to M, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Spoon, Doggy, Mish, $hot in Face
Score: 2.5 out of 5

Unfortunately, here is proof of the problems with the chemistry/partnering paradigm spoken of before. Gianna looks like a naughty little Asian girl in her sort-of school uniform and long straight hair. Cheyne looks like he's eaten one too many fat burgers and is still styling that well-gelled hairstyle that was popular around 1992. It's a stocky surfer vs. a Yokohama mama and the results are rather uneventful. Mr. Collins just can't keep up with Ms. Lynn, and though he goes through four positions with her, he pops before she seems ready to retire. It's all just too bland and boring, failing to match the rest of the sex on this disc. Added points are awarded for Gianna's palpable persona, as well as for her interesting use of a dildo.

Scene 6: Tiffany Minx, Flower Tucci, Nick Manning
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Masturbation, Alternating Head, Doggy, Alternating V to M, Cowgirl, Anal Cowgirl, A to M, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Squirting, Anal Doggy, Anal Mish, $hot on Ass, Shared Clean-up
Score: 3 out of 5

Another example of well-formed femininity, Tiffany Minx has got man ass hugging legs, long and meaty and ready to ride. When she gives us a bit of creative cabaret, we can already feel our 'anticipation' getting engorged. Ms. Tucci is tantalizing as well, and when these girls get to grinding, you just know this scene is gonna ROCK! Then Nick Manning steps in and...well, he doesn't quite screw the whole thing up completely. As vocal as ever, with a kind of cocksure personality that almost always rubs the Dirge the wrong way, he is at least on par with the pussy on parade. The main reason this scene doesn't score higher then is that a major opportunity is missed here. Director Mofo must have problems with group gropes, since he never seems to have his lens in the proper porn place. We miss possible passion and focus far too long on concepts antithetical to carnality. With clearer filmmaking - and perhaps a different meat puppet - this would be a wonderfully wicked sequences. The gals are that hot. As it stands, it's still very good - just not great.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (Highly Recommended)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted

When it's hot, Sick Girls Need Sick Boys is incendiary. When it's not, it's still a pretty good piece of porn. With a better selection of extras, and a couple of personnel adjustments within the title itself, this disc would earn a coveted DVD Talk Collector's Series classification. But as it stands now, it is just a Highly Recommended romp through some incredibly randy routines. Mofo is a director to look forward to, and as long as he keeps up the level of lewdness in his first feature, his canon will be crammed with carnal goodness. Couples will truly enjoy the amount of arousal they will get here, and fans of "fleshier" females will find their packed-on pounds prayers answers. If these gals are sick, let's hope they NEVER get cured.