GENRE: Gonzo Feature
DIRECTOR: Seymore Butts
STARS: Holli Wood, Shay Sweet, Alyssa Love, Katie Gold, Samantha Style, Alisha Klass, Wendy Knight, Halli Ashton, Pandora Rye, Montana Gunn, Drew Berrymore, Kelly Jean, Kim Kummings, Chloe, Ron Jeremy, Tom Byron, Sean Michaels, Peter North
DATES OF PRODUCTION: Various
LENGTH: 150 mins without bonus material

There is one good thing about being a porn critic, an aspect that makes up for all the gnarled vaginas and hairy man ass we have to sit through. Mainstream reviewers can use the level of laughter in a comedy or the need for handkerchiefs during a tragedy to measure a genre-specific movie's success or failure. If you're screaming, it's scary. If you're squirming on the edge of your seat, then the thrills and the action are ample. But for the fuck film aficionado, the diagnostic parameters are a little more perplexing. An adult film can have great production values, a high level of performance and a delicious collection of carnal queens, and still be a failure. Alternately, there can be some grungy backdrops, a pimple or twelve and enough aggressive antics to turn the tendencies of even the most adventurous individual, and yet the eros is electric.

That's why we MALE members of the hardcore film fourth estate can praise Pan for our wieners. That's right, no matter how good or bad, indifferent or dynamic a sequence appears to be, the groin can grade it without a great deal of difficulty. A perfect example of this tool-based tracking can be found in today's discussion of Seymour Butts' Award Winning Anal. As the title tells you, this is supposedly trophy worthy XXX material. The scenes themselves, a collection of past performances, resulted in both AVN recognition (1998 & 1999 Best Group Scene, 2000 Best Girl/Girl Scene) and XRCO accolades (1998 Best Group Scene & 1999 Best Three-way). So, you'd think you were getting one mighty monster mash of a mons fest, right, a chance to see some scorching, sizzling sex as only the gonzo master Mr. Butts can deliver?

Well, appearances – and advertisements – are not all they're cracked up to be. The usually reliable Seymore comes up substantially short here, offering a collection of cockrocking that barely registered a reaction on the old Dirge dingus. Of the four scenes (or if you count the weird dream sequence spliced into the middle, five) only two provided tingle in the old tallywacker. And even with all the squirting and squealing and orgy Olympics going on, there is an achingly amateurish quality to the filmmaking that is surprising for the Seymore canon. This is one of the rare instances where a Butts' product rates badly, both as a production and as a penis pleaser.

The DVD:
Again, we are walking through a typical day in Seymore's life. Instead of offering up the scenes in a normal, laundry list fashion, our director tries to design a storyline, something about a live Internet broadcast that goes bad and a party for some friend. In between, there are individuals arriving from the airport, random folks just dropping by, and the near constant presence of ex-Tushy gal Alisha Klass. As a result, the usual Seymore strategy of trying to tell a tale is surprisingly disconnected and disinteresting.

But who cares about the plot points, right? What you're interested in is the pork product. Well, as stated before, there are four separate scenes here, and they run the range from one-on-one waxing to four gals on one guy gumping. Individually, we witness the following deeds of wantonness:

Scene 1: Holli Wood, Shay Sweet, Alyssa Love, Katie Gold, Peter North
Acts Performed: Cunnilingus, Dildo Drilling, Tit Sucking, Blow Jobs, Ball Sucking, Salad Tossing, Anal Fingering, Vibrator Action, Anal Tongue Fucking, Sybian Action, Doggy, Spooning, Taint Licking, Man Ass Manipulation, Face Sitting, Cowgirl, Ass Slapping, 69, Pile Driver, Ball Action, Anal Spooning, Anal Vibrator Action, Alternating A to M, Straight Anal, Gaping, Anal Doggy, Massive A to M, $hot in all Girls' Mouths.

From: Gluteus to the Maximus (1998)

There are a lot of reasons why this is the best scene in the set, all of which touch upon things the Dirge has already discussed before. First of all, Seymore finds a group of gropers who really put their all into this scene. You can see them getting lost in the carnality, stripping off their inhibitions as orifices and positions are randomly explored. Secondly, the gals are not loafing lummoxes, laying back and letting toys and tools do all the work. Shay and Alyssa really give Peter North and his package a run for their ramrodding money, delivering as many pumps and proddings as our meat puppet man. Finally, Seymore stays in the moment. He doesn't let his camera vanish in the various, voluminous sexual antics, but instead focuses on two or three people plooking away before gradually moving his lens across the remaining bodies. While he is obviously still working on his technical adeptness, the combination of casting and filmmaking make this one hot, hard-on producing presentation. Score: 8.5 out of 10

Scene 2: Samantha Style, Alisha Klass, Wendy Knight, Halli Ashton, Sean Michaels
Acts Performed: Cowgirl, Ball Sucking, Anal Fingering, Ass Toothbrushing, Tit Sucking, Alternating V to M, Salad Tossing, Mish, Doggy, Cunnilingus, Regular V to M, Anal Doggy, Alternating A to M, Gaping, $hot in All Girls' Mouths, Oral Clean-up.

From: Tushy Heaven (1998)

Everything that Scene 1 has, Scene 2 is lacking (even with the aggressive Alisha steaming things up). Sean, sadly, is so overwhelmed with pussy that all he can do is basically lounge around and let it all happen to him. He has cunt in his mouth, in his hands, on his cock and trying to tackle both his ass and his nuts. The copulation craziness seems to throw Seymore completely off his game as well. The camera gets lost several times (there is one particularly memorable shot of the WALL for several seconds) and his lensing always feels a few steps behind the action. As a result, we have a hard time following the fucking, and this makes it hard to bond with the boofing or the boofers. Instead, we get a lot of horny dames doing it with a derivative, if decent, male member mannequin, and the lack of electricity or passion really jacks down the johnson. Score: 4.5 out of 10

Scene 3: Pandora Rye, Montana Gunn, Drew Berrymore, Ron Jeremy, Tom Byron
Acts Performed: Blow Jobs, Face Sitting, Salad Tossing, Tongue Fucking, Face Fucking, Ball Sucking, Ass Slapping, Cowgirl, Doggy, Alternating V to M, Reverse Cowgirl, Regular V to M, Hair Pulling, Pile Driver
From: Musical Tushies (1997)

This is a weird, weird scene. Seymore is asleep when porn legend Ron Jeremy shows up. He has two hot-to-trot twats with him, and Seymore spends so much time COMPLAINING about the poon in his house that you half expect the scene to end in an argument, not aardvarking. Well, eventually, the couples get to pudknocking, but Seymore is still half asleep. His angles are awful. There is no flow to his filming. One moment we are staring at a random dick entering an ass, the next we are focusing on a close-up of Ron's food-flecked moustache. Just when things start to settle down, when both Ron and Tom get a good pussy pounding beat going, the scene suddenly goes screwy, shifting in a single jump cut to:

Scene 3(b): Kelly Jean, Kim Kummings, Ron Jeremy
Acts Performed: Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Fingering, A to M, Straight Anal, Alternating A to M, $hot in Mouth
From: Two Butts are Better Than One (2001)

Since we later learn that this is part of Ron's post-money moment delusion, we can forgive the blatant lack of continuity. But it does arrive so unexpectedly and without warning that it truly does a negative number on the personal pole pleasuring. Since we don't get any cumshot closure in the first sequence (and the gals there were better bonkers than the babes here), we feel like we're starting over from sexual scratch. This jarring juxtaposition of scenes (plus the final moments where a snatch-juice slicked Jeremy is curled up in the fetal position – buck ass naked – on Seymore's couch. Ew!) destroys the sizzle, and makes this, without a doubt, the worst sequence on the DVD. Score: 3.5 out of 10

Scene 4: Alisha Klass, Chloe
Acts Performed: Foreplay, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Salad Tossing, Tit Play, Anal Tongue Fucking, V to M, LARGE Dildo Fucking, Choking, Spitting, Squirting
From: Tampa Tushy Fest (2000)

Now, if you think Scene 3 was ODD, you ain't seen NOTHING yet. Alisha and Chloe basically do a hardcore version of The Exorcist here, as a little lesbo action gets amazingly unsettling when Chloe starts channeling a demented demon. Basically, she brays like a banshee and demands that Alisha violate her repeatedly with a dildo the size of a bodybuilder's forearm. As Ms. Klass tries to comply, Chloe screams to be choked, becoming very confrontational and angry. She even starts grabbing Alisha's hair. There is a freakish air to this exchange, one that both helps and hinders the gal on gal gratuity. On the one hand, it's great to get away from the boring old toy/ tongue/ tickle style Sappho material. But then again, you start to wonder about the sanity of both performers when they seem to both be sexually into a very borderline abusive scene. Seymore seems to sense how bizarre this all looks, and he adds a closing moment of Alisha doing her womb waterfall routine to try and bring things back down to some sense of normalcy. Still, while it may move member for some, it will be hard for many men to totally get into this rock 'em, sock e'm same sex sequence. Score: 5.5 out of 10

Upfront, it has to be said that Senior Seymore has gotten mighty proficient with the camera over the years. Just looking at his work from this far back in the past indicates how far he's progressed. As stated before, the main reason why Scenes 2 and 3 fail is because the lensing is so loony. Where today, Mr. Butts is careful with his compositions and framing, during these earlier gonzo gallerias, he's all over the moviemaking map. Close-ups are catch as catch can, meaning we can witness penetration, or maybe a meat mole, during a particular pan. Perhaps it's the style of camera he was using back then, or maybe he has just become better at anticipating the action, but there are a lot of dull spots in the XXX material here, moments where we wonder why our director has decided to focus on a particularly puzzling image.

Another problem is the free-for-all nature of group scenes – especially in the glorified orgy arena. Without a lot of intricate choreography or personal chemistry, we have to pray that the performers are up to the challenge of keeping the hardcore exciting. There can occasionally be a "treading water" mentality when it comes to the group grope, a sense that someone else will pick up the slack while you take a ball breather. That seems to happen a great deal in Scene 2 and 3, especially with Seymore's scattered framing. As a result, this may be award winning anal (can't argue with the trophies) but it also proves that, especially in the last couple of years, Seymore Butts has really found his fuck film groove. His movies now are SO much better than anything you'll find on this DVD that, although it feels weird to say it especially with the Dirge being a Butts champion, this may be a title to leave to history. His current carnality is light years ahead of what can be found in this lackluster compilation.

The Video:
As a handheld camera creation with very little post-production work (except for the ever more tacky title sequences), the 1.33:1 full screen image does have a few focus issues and obvious grain. Seymore sometimes shoots when available light is at a minimum and the tell tale gray specs of tanking technology are occasionally viewed. Editing is also a little suspect from time to time, but nothing so horrible as to hinder the hardcore. Still, the overall transfer is good – though far from great - and even with all the POV predictability, this is a bright, colorful collection of sex scenes.

The Audio:
Utilizing the internal mic in his camera, Seymore barely captures the conversations occurring during Award Winning Anal. Sometime, the dialogue drops out. Then there are times when Mr. Butts is taking a more Q&A approach to the recording, and when he does, the exchange of words comes in loud and clear. The sounds of sex are also highlighted in the Dolby Digital Stereo presentation, so we never miss a moan or misinterpret an orgasmic ovation.

The Extras:
The bonuses here are kind of a cheat. We get trailers (ho hum), a webpage ad featuring Alisha (who last time anyone checked, wasn't part of the Butts clan any more) and a few other unimportant offerings (photo gallery, 800 number ad, ZZZZZZ). At least we get an additional sex scene, one that's a little livelier than the other offerings on the disc:

Bonus Scene:
Danita, Alissa, Tyce Bune
Act Performed: Bow Job, Face Sitting, Tit Sucking, Cunnilingus, Anal and Vaginal Fingering, Squirting, Doggy, Salad Tossing, Face Fucking, Mish, Alternating V to M, Straight Anal, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Pile Driver, $hot on Both Girls, Oral Clean-up.

For guys who enjoy their tits big, fake and surgically suspect, this scene is for you. Both gals need to contact a malpractice lawyer pronto. Their mommy bags are so mangled and misshapen (filled with random bumps and occlusions and arbitrarily located on the torso) that they look painful. Still, each lady lewds up the loving as Tyce delivers his usual terrific tooling. In the end, this scene works better than the others because it is just 2 on 1, with Seymore doing a damn fine job of capturing each and every moment. Unlike the rest of the DVD, you can really get into the action, which makes that most important of personal analysts really stand up and take notice. Score: 6 out of 10

Final Thoughts:
There are obviously a few phases to the career of Mr. Seymore Butts. There is the current superstar status where, thanks to Family Business, he can produce the kind of product he has always wanted. Then there is the pre-Showtime Seymore, a man trying hard to deliver the hardcore he knows the fans covet and crave. And then there is the Seymore of Award Winning Anal. Call this a first film in a carnal connoisseur's catalog, an awkward example of a porn auteur's bumpy beginnings. Over time, the Butts trademark has guaranteed a good, hard gonzo time, but this title can't live up to this new, naughty reputation. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, Award Winning Anal is given a limp 5.5 out of 10 and is a clear case of lend/lease. It would probably be even better to seek out the original films and purchase them rather than to waste your dollars on this derivative collection. Couples may be put off by the lack of passion, or personal interaction here, so a Cohabitation Certificate is withheld. Someone once said that clip collection is the bottom feeder of the adult industry. There is not a lot of imagination needed to toss together a few select scenes and slap on a new cover. Seymore Butts may be trying to retrofit his older films into a new, flashy presentation. But that reliable gauge of gratuity – the erection – says otherwise. This is one mediocre member manipulator.