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The Booty Pageant

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Krissy Lynn, Ryan Mclane, Remy LaCroix, Kris Slater, Allie Haze, Voodoo, Jessie Rogers, Lisa Ann, Ritchie Calhoun, Brad Tyler
Non-sex roles: Alana Evans, James Bartholet, Kiki Dare, Jonathan Morgan, others too, but none of them credited

Length: 145:38 minutes

Date of Production: 2012

Extras: There was a slip case and double sided DVD cover (one side more explicit than the other). The disc then started out with a few trailers to movies like Lisa Ann Can’t Say No, some spam, and a FSC commercial about the troubles with porn piracy (don’t do it). There were then three bonus scenes, one from Spin Class Ass starring Krissy Lynn, Barry Scott, & Ritchie Calhoun (17:44 minutes), one from Couples Camp 2 with Lisa Ann & Allie Haze (18:30 minutes), and a third from Remy LaCroix & Ryan Mclane from Daddy Did The Babysitter (17:02 minutes). There was then an 8:14 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Lee Snijders that gave cast and crew plenty to talk about, a photogallery, more trailers, a promotional reel, and more spam.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: The Booty Pageant was presented in widescreen as shot by director Jonathan Morgan for Wicked Pictures. The lighting and other production values were strong and this allowed the cast to build up some heat and establish chemistry between the partners. The flesh tones were accurate and the editing was nicely done, the feature elements well handled in comedic fashion. The aural qualities of the movie were also interesting, the music and vocals easily heard with a fair amount of connection thematically to the visual elements.

Body of Review: Jonathan Morgan is one of the best directors of comic porn, his longstanding career at Wicked Pictures allowing him to hone his craft among some of the most popular contract starlets and skilled technical crews the industry has to offer. His latest entertaining porno is called The Booty Pageant, a comedy based on an imaginary beauty contest with everything but the kitchen sink tossed in for some wonderful entertainment value but also a lot of fuck for the buck with a splendid cast of babes such as Remy LaCroix, Krissy Lynn, Lisa Ann, Allie Haze, and Jessie Rogers. If you have found Jonathan’s previous comedies to be at all amusing, my own experience being he is among the very best in the jizz biz, you are going to find this to be quite a treat. The back cover described the movie like this: “Join forces with a documentary film crew as they investigate the sexual shenanigans of the country’s oldest Booty Pageant! With contestants, past and present, only too willing to show off their ASSets, they’re sure to get a lens full of booty! This all star cast of booty queens get down to business and put on one helluva' sexy talent show that will thrill judges and audience alike.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Krissy Lynn, a curvy hotty wearing a short white skirt and colorful top, was up first on her princess bed as she jumped Ryan Mclane to make a video. The large breasted gal kissed him a bunch and ground her lap into his, whipping his pole from his pants to aggressively slob his knob in a most talented manner, her superior eye contact elevating the scene as well. Ryan then gobbled her gash and she overacted a little regarding the levels of pleasure it provided, the man following her directive to shove his cock inside her pussy in rapid fashion. She held her ass cheeks apart for him to drive him deeper, turning over to get his condom coated cock in a different angle, eventually moving to anal cowgirl where her boobs shook really nicely too. This pushed him over the limit and he unleashed a large volume of genetic juice all over her crotch, Krissy mocking her opponent at the end of the web broadcast.

Scene Two: Remy LaCroix, the foxy young lady featured on the front cover, was up next as she portrayed an aspiring porn performer, hitting those clichés like crazy but doing so in a very amusing manner (Jonathan Morgan making it even funnier with his teasing cameo). She wore a loose top and tiny booty shorts, pizza delivery boy Kris Slater providing the desired “extra sausage” she was so craving. He peeled her shorts off to worship her perky ass, some face sitting leading to an active hummer where the devoted cutie jerked him off while inhaling his package balls deep, some active vaginal riding enhancing the end result. Remy kept solid eye contact with him as able, Ryan’s appreciation for her sweet ass pushing him to spank and rub her ass cheeks a little while plowing her snatch. She then climbed onto him in cowgirl to impale herself soundly this way which led to a slower but sensual anal, Remy going a few positions before kneeling to toss out his wealth of population pudding all over her face (the baby batter glazing her face and mouth).

Scene Three: Allie Haze, dressed as a flower child with limited dancing ability, then gave her interpretative dance in an example of a contestant gone wrong from a few years back, ditching her dress for a sheer black shirt as she pranced about on stage. As the shocked audience watched, Allie tossed Voodoo down on the red platform on stage to jump his bones, the gal grinding her crotch onto his before orally stimulating his raging boner. The hand assisted hummer was very skillful and the camera wisely caught her great ass in the air, the couple moving into a brief 69 until it was time to pump that ass onto his cock for some vaginal fun. Allie rode with abandon, her cheeks bouncing up and down in hypnotic fashion, her ass looking ripe for the fucking though they did not actually do anal. The ending wad of spunk landed all over her ass and she seemed satisfied with the results (some funny footage of her later on as she fought being sent to the loony bin adding to the effect).

Scene Four: Krissy Lynn, Remy LaCroix, and Jessie Rogers, were all up next in an outdoor car wash where they started by wearing tiny bikinis (two of them) and Krissy in some blue jean booty shorts and a short shirt. The water covered them and Ritchie’s creepy character was entertaining (more on that later). While some may claim this was just a way for the director to get his truck washed, I had to admit that seeing the three main ladies of the show going at one another together sure made comparing them easier. Remy was tiny beside the two and Krissy was my favorite, Jessie sure to please as eye candy as either of her peers. They kissed and caressed each other and got in a lot of box eating, the spread leg camera angles helping make the scene as strokable as the rest of the movie. The multitude of ass shots was pleasant as well, all of the ladies getting some spotlight time when the fingering and toy use continued under the all natural lighting of the sun. There might not have been any splooge on camera but I’m sure the quality of the tryst will inspire plenty of you at home to provide ample quantities of it, the playful nature of the lesbian encounter a nice counterpoint to the otherwise heterosexual nature of the show.

Scene Five: Lisa Ann, the extremely talented lead of the show, was up next in a motel room with Ritchie Calhoun as they examined their respective roles in the contest. Lisa provided a character very similar to her Sarah Palin act, the nods to beauty show hosts hitting the mark throughout the movie more than just here. She stripped down to some very sexy lingerie and pressed her award winning ass right up to his face, allowing him to appreciate his booty duty in the pageant all the more when she wrapped her lips around his turgid cock to suck him off enthusiastically. Lisa’s energy in the 69 continued when Ritchie was nailing her pussy balls deep in missionary, his condom not hurting the strength of the scene and Lisa being down to just her stockings adding something as well. Lisa rode better when on top though, her passionate cowgirl plowing soon resulting in some doggy anal, her precious pucker tight enough to drive Ritchie crazy as her tits swayed to the rhythm of their penetrative porking. He then unloaded his gun of ball batter all over her crotch, the scene cut short by some funny feature elements (I won’t spoil it for you like some of the dickheads out there tend to do, though the epilogue with Ritchie was pure Jonathan Morgan hilarious!).

Scene Six: Jessie Rogers, the attractive blond from the car wash scene, was up last in a sex tape rendition of fame with heavily tattooed moper Brad Tyler. She wore some sexy black lingerie and a sheer blue slip, the footage handled in POV to a degree (but not obsessive with the angle). He felt her tasty ass and admired her boobs, the gal masturbating on the couch at his direction before she started blowing him. Jessie was a natural with a cock in her mouth, the pecker throating her as she provided some fine eye contact. This quickly transitioned into an extremely active cowgirl in his lap, her ass the primary target as she bounced her ass cheeks hard onto his crotch. I especially liked the footage of her getting fucked with her ass to the camera, her cheeks spread wide to accommodate the modest member, her ending blowjob on her knees showing her to beat his meat free of spew (which flew everywhere).

Kiki, Lisa, and Alana all provided some welcome comic relief

Summary: The Booty Pageant by director Jonathan Morgan for Wicked Pictures merited a rating of Highly Recommended for the sheer amounts of heated fuck for the buck, the over the top comedic value as only Jonathan can provide, and the exceptional casting of a plethora of booty babes worthy of any ass-centric beauty pageant, real or imagined. I admit to having a lot of appreciation for Allie Haze and Lisa Ann, Krissy Lynn and Jessie Rogers always proving to be fine fuck bunnies, and who could argue with sexy little Remy LaCroix “bringing up the rear” as it were (pun intended)? In short, The Booty Pageant might not be the next colossal block buster from the company but it had all the elements needed to entertain the crowds at length, the balance between the sex and feature elements as well handled as any of Jonathan’s superb previous efforts so check it out.