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This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 3

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody, Feature

Director/Writer: Axel Braun

Cast: Dillion Harper, Evan Stone, Ana Foxxx, Marcus London, Jake Taylor, Penny Pax, Richie Calhoun, Scarlett Fay, Bailey Blue, Michael Vegas
Non-sex roles: Not credited

Length: 103:31 minutes

Date of Production: 2013

Extras: The first disc had the usual spam and FSC commercial, followed by a slide show, some trailers, more spam, and a 26:29 minute long set of interviews. The second disc was primarily taken up by the 3D version of the movie, using the anaglyph process to simulate some depth.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 3 was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video. Unlike some of Axel’s bigger budget releases, this one looked much more modest in scope even though talented Eli Cross was on hand as the director of photography. The lighting here was terrible in many cases, someone needing a lesson on how to light a black gal (Ana Foxxx) when surrounded by light costumes and surroundings. Other issues with the technical aspects of the flick were minimal by comparison but it just looked cheaper than previous efforts in the series as well as a far cry from the superior “Next Generation” version put out awhile back by someone else. The 3D version did not use the format all that well either, the effects on the very cheap side due in part to using the very outdated red/blue anaglyph system but also because there was not a lot of provided depth to work with as in some of the other releases of recent times, the lighting hurting this part of the effect as well. The aural aspects of the movie included a 2.0 Dolby Digital soundtrack, the score, vocals, and other sounds came across as hastily slapped together though in fairness, the vocals could be heard almost as if recorded separately.

Body of Review: Axel Braun has provided Hustler Video with a number of parodies over recent years, the best of which have as much praise as the worst have earned jeers. His latest collaboration with them is a modest project called This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 3, the latest adventure using Evan Stone as the infamous pussy chasing Starship captain. The basic premise of the movie this time was a take on time travel as well as the mirror universe (absent the goatee) where Evan had to confront a younger, nicer version of himself, the story elements decidedly weaker than in the previous outings by director and company. I won’t suck and spoil the plot elements for you as others might do but suffice it to say that a bit more humor would go a very long way in making this series fun to watch, the sexual exploits on par with most of Axel’s works for Hustler. The best thing about the project was the attractive ladies this time, Penny Pax, Bailey Blue, and Dillion Harper balancing against Evan, Marcus London, and an admittedly funny take on the Bones McCoy character (non-sex mind you) starring fellow director Will Ryder. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Dillion Harper, an attractive brunette with a lean body, was up first on a rocky set with Evan Stone. His hands were all over her as he used his knowledge of the stars to distract her, slowly lifting her uniform to reveal her black panties creeping up her sweet ass. She had a pronounced tan line and liked grabbing his package, the gal bending over his lap as he spanked her before spreading her ass wide for the camera to check out. She slobbed his knob and while the colors were very saturated and dark, her ass looked fine as she leaned over him to actively inhale his turgid member. It even looked like someone flipped a switch to allow more light half way through the scene, Evan reversing roles to gobble her gash and finger her before they engaged in a few vaginal penetration positions. She did some taste testing and bounced on his cock some more, leading to the facial he unleashed on her face of the genetic juice that was tough to appreciate given the lighting (especially the 3D version).

Scene Two: Ana Foxxx, the sleek black gal featured on the lower left corner of the front cover, was up next as she knelt down to take turns blowing both Marcus London and Jake Taylor once their flirting was finished. Marcus warmed her up by massaging her ass and nuzzling it, Jake assisting her with her top and sucking her tiny titties. It was a slightly messy hummer with their saliva falling primarily on her naked torso, the room so brightly lit that all details of the lady were lost in what appears to be another lighting problem. Ana gave a decent blowjob to both of them though, enjoying herself as she continued to either jerk them off or slobber on them, her mouth taking care of one at a time. Both men beat off onto her face and upper torso, their population pudding rewarding her for a job well done.

Scene Three: Penny Pax, the sexy young blond featured on the center of the front cover, was up next to service Richie Calhoun, his version of Spock trying to get some action based on his physiological needs (the insider joke being he really only needed sex every seven years). In any case, Penny dropped down to blow him with ample hand to gland action, her mouth engulfing his erection easily enough as she gave him great eye contact. He then ate her ass extremely briefly before boning her pussy in a standing/kneeling doggy, her lean but sexy ass looking like a great target as he tapped into her juicy slit slowly. The bald beaver boning continued in missionary but she was not nearly as active a rider as I have seen in the past, the gal looking away most of the time before he tapped her ass in a few positions, Penny eventually milking him dry of spunk thanks to some moderately active cowgirl riding that took his baby batter from him as he tossed it onto her crotch.

Scene Four: Scarlett Fay and Bailey Blue were then up in a lesbian tryst in their quarters, the ladies trying to show the ambassador their mating rituals for a cultural exchange. They wore the skimpy red dresses as they pawed one another, a lot of kissing and light caresses leading them to take off their clothing for some rug munching fun. They did diddle each other and fingering was the only means of manually exciting each other’s bald beavers other than the oral, the overacting coming across as the kind of lipstick lesbianism you see in scenes where the couple really aren’t into each other. There was no splooge deposited by the uncredited male, his disinterested look sure not helping make it look like they were getting off either.

Scene Five: Ana Foxxx, in a poorly lit section of the access areas of the ship, then finished up the sexual encounters by tackling Michael Vegas, his version of a younger Kirk showing why this was probably a storyline best dropped early on, the alternative universe angle too late to pick up steam apparently. He bent her over as he tried to warm her up, additional lighting problems again making it difficult to discern much detail as he fingered and orally stimulated her. Given the frustrated expressions on his face, I wondered if he was having troubles but he kept trying to excite her, the performance she gave being somewhat over the top until she took a turn blowing him flaccid pecker. Michael’s wood problems alone did not kill it for me though as Ana was an interesting change of pace as the lead fuck bunny, it was just the whole need to keep trying on her part that weakened it (if he wasn’t into her, something different should have been tried). Some abrupt edits and his eventual erection helped her actively ride in a couple of positions though, her shaven pussy soon getting his ball batter flowing as he tossed it off to her face when she asked for it.

Summary: This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 3 by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video was worth a rating of Rent It for me, the sex providing some limited replay value but the feature elements among the weakest parody of the year in many other ways. The technical aspects were as bad as the story, someone deciding to throw in as much as they could to confuse the audience being my guess. In short then, This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 3 added a touch of special effects, some mindful nods to the source material, and some beautiful ladies for your stroking pleasure, just don’t expect too much or you will be disappointed since this was not Axel’s best parody by a long shot. I still think a parody of the Troubles With Tribbles would make more sense, the Harry Mudd character and the tribbles themselves all but writing half the dialogue if given the chance.