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American Hustle XXX

Smash Pictures/Pink Velvet

Genre: Parody, Feature

Director/Writer: Will Ryder

Cast: Aaliyah Love, Tommy Gunn, Luna Star, Eric John, Penny Pax, Ryan McLane, Carter Cruise, Van Wylde, Kurt Lockwood, Rio Lee, Tommy Gunn, Tommy Pistol
Non-sex roles: James Bartholet, Frank Bukkwyd, Jack Vegas, Mia Austin, Jeff Mullen, XXX Ray, Fliktor

Length: 124:04 minutes (with story version); 87:44 minutes (without feature elements)

Dates of Production: 3/13/2014, 3/14/2014

Extras: There was a 9:38 minute long Behind the Scenes feature with some slips and brief cast interviews. This was followed by a photogallery, some trailers, and a website link.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: American Hustle XXX was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Will Ryder for Smash Pictures. As expected, the art direction was by Scott David, Miles Long providing second camera to Will, and the editing handled by Hollywood Max. Fliktor was in charge of the lighting but there were lots of shadows and less than optimal lighting moments, the editing fairly decent but not the best I’ve seen in a parody of late, the flesh tones accurate whenever the lighting was better, and no establishing shots of the city or meeting places with the characters in them as needed to make the movie look more credible (just a couple of static shots or superimposed bits). The aural components were in 2.0 Dolby Digital, no significant separation between the channels as the vocals sounded flat and the limited musical interlude getting played too much for my tastes.

Body of Review: Will Ryder has been the go to man for parodies for many years now, his skill landing him a job at Smash Pictures as the market has largely dried up due to piracy. His first movie for the company is called American Hustle XXX, the show taking one of the biggest mainstream Hollywood hits of last year, pornified it on a tight budget, and releasing it now in time for awards season. While the sex was on the generic side here and every tryst worth mentioning included a highly visible condom, the feature elements weren’t half bad. Sure, some of the acting was terrible but that is almost a given for a modern porn parody, Tommy Gunn far and away the best of the batch in the Christian Bale role, followed by Aaliyah Love in the Jennifer Lawrence role from the movie, the rest of the cast making me finally appreciate Smash’s feature to cut right to the sex in wall to wall fashion. The back cover described the movie like this: “Two swindlers fall in love amidst an FBI sting but when Irving's wife Roselyn sleeps with the mob, things get downright dangerous. Politicians, criminals and the Feds clash for intrigue and plenty of graphic sex in the year's best parody. American Hustle XXX will leave you breathless and entertained.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Aaliyah Love, the sexy blond featured on the front cover, was up first as she was horny and in need of Tommy Gunn to gobble her gash. He went at her neatly trimmed snatch and then bent her over for some more as she squealed in pleasure, the “scene” not really qualifying as such as it amounted to some cunnilingus only.

Scene Two: Luna Star, a curvy newcomer with a great ass, was up next in a purple crocheted dress as she showed “gold member” Eric John what his membership entailed him to having. She slobbed his knob aggressively while applying some hand to gland friction, inhaling him before they slid into a 69 for some oral by both that led to a couple of vaginal penetrative positions with a condom. She was overly vocal to the point of putting on an act but her juicy slit looked good and she was an active rider. This continued until he launched his load of semen onto her face and upper torso, some post coital head included.

Scene Three: Penny Pax, the sexy redhead featured on the front cover, was up next in bed with Ryan McLane. He overacted his role but looked a bit like Bradley Cooper if you squinted just right with all the lights out having had a lot to drink. He savored her pale boobs and she dropped down to blow him, her eye contact and nut nuzzling enhancing the final outcome as she throated him modest member while her thong rode deep inside her ass crack. Unfortunately, this was a blowjob only scene so when he plastered her mug, I was ready to subtract more points as I had for the first scene.

Scene Four: Carter Cruise, a fabulous blond beauty not seen on the front cover for some reason, was up next as she passed up a chance to make out with Aaliyah Love in favor of her husband (the Mayor portrayed by Van Wylde) and “sheik” Kurt Lockwood, when Kurt walked in on her about to blow Van. He offered her as a gift to Lockwood to make sure the deal went through, the gal kissing the mope as she reached back for Van to service her. Their clothing fell aside and she aggressively blew Kurt while on her knees as Van massaged her juicy ass, the guys alternating between giving her hairy snatch some cock or feeding her mouth with them, condoms again used for those who care. Carter looked good and all of them were sweaty as though there was no air conditioning in the place, he tryst taking place on a beat up old red couch before the guys ended it by depositing their sperm on her face.

Scene Five: Rio Lee, a large breasted lady portraying a Mafioso type crucial to the plan, was then up with Tommy Gunn as a means to seal the deal with a squeal, the gal demanding he service her in the warehouse turned restaurant location. They kissed, he sucked her pierced nipple, and they peeled off their clothing rapidly as she pawed to get his turgid pecker into her mouth. It was another way too short hummer where the lady only took a small portion of him into her mouth, Tommy reciprocating on her shaven slit before he fucked her with his “big, fat fucking dick” as she put it. The condom came out of nowhere and he was mechanically pumping away as she overdid the vocals, the gal most active in the cowgirl variations as she impaled herself soundly on his rod until he tossed off his seed to her open mouth, the rubber disappearing as fast as it arrived.

Scene Six: Aaliyah Love, wearing a sexy black dress, was up next with Tommy Pistol, the man portraying the mobster from the movie. He was all over her and top down her dress to suck her boobs, some abrupt edit points jarring to say the least as he devoured her orally on the yellow couch. She gave him a quick hummer and then rode his protected pecker, some additional kissing and oral helped by some great shots of her yummy ass as she bounced on his cock. When they finished vaginally fucking, he left his load on her face and in her mouth, Aaliyah smiling as she savored the taste.

Scene Seven: Penny Pax, dressed only in a red towel on the worn reddish couch, was up last with moper Ryan McLane, the towel flying off as they kissed quickly and he went for her tits. Ryan sucked her hairy snatch and fingered her before he brief blowjob led to some very active vaginal penetration positions. He was protected by a condom here but aside from the base, it wasn’t actively noticeable much, Penny flexibly holding her feet near her head as he porked her to drain his dragon. Penny gave some intermittent head while maintaining her solid eye contact, her jugs jiggling as the couple bumped uglies until another abrupt edit left his semen all over her face as Penny scooped it up to swallow.

Summary: American Hustle XXX by director Will Ryder for Smash Pictures was not the “best parody ever made” as the director has been going around telling everyone but it was not as bad as I thought it would be given the tightness of the mainstream elements in need of being copied. Penny Pax and Aaliyah Love were great looking, Tommy Gunn, Ryan McLane, and Van Wylde all bearing more than a passing resemblance to their characters, and the sex about what I expected out of Smash Pictures, the plentiful use of condoms not really bugging me at all. In short, American Hustle XXX was more of a copy of the mainstream release with some sex added in but as short as the scenes were at times, it was worth checking out as a Rent It if you’re a big fan of the female cast, just don’t expect a whole lot from the show and you’ll like it more. It is possible being told repeatedly for months that this is the best movie ever and the company threw tons of money at it raised my expectations too high to appreciate it but frankly, when you watch it you'll understand where I'm coming from.