Your ability to appreciate Orgazm Addictz will instantly be measured when you look at how long this title is. Five scenes collected over two DVDs, running a grand total of nearly four HOURS! That means that each sequence is between 45 and 50 minutes long. If this gets your gonads all engorged, then you will absolutely adore what Tanya Hyde has to offer. This film is a mindless motherload of every imaginable adult concept – fetish, self-satisfaction, group grope, same sex shenanigans, toy troweling, one-on-one wantonness, gonzo like aggression, passive pretty porn parameters – all accented by some of the most artsy fartsy direction since Michael Ninn discovered overcranking. The Dirge, unfortunately, grew very bored, VERY quickly. You can only watch a woman jam fingers in her ass for so long before the perverted pleasure wears off. And since such acts are just the first part of a multifaceted fuck and suck a-thon, it all becomes too much.

The Sex Scenes:

There is a lot of ballistic balling going on in Orgazm Addictz, but the problem again is the quantity, not the quality. Watching a couple copulate in the reverse cowgirl mode for 10 minutes straight is just ridiculous, no matter the amount of passion between the performers. It's just Eros overload. Too much of anything is difficult on the senses, and such marathon monkey-lovin' is ludicrous. It destroys the individual moments of sizzling sex. For example, in Scene 2, our sex slaves take a shower, unimportant body parts covered in sultry, slutty vinyl. We really enjoy seeing the watery wantonness, but then we have to sit through an endless session of anal beads before we get to more forced fornication. The sequences are so heavily edited, moving between positions and angles with occasional nonsensical abandon, that we lose the lust of the moment. Part of the fun of porn is watching people screw who seem to be enjoying the idea. Here, the actors are in for the long – LONG – haul, and as a result, are more geared for endurance than entertainment.

Scene 1:White Light, White Meat (2 Girls, 2 Guys)

Acts Performed:Masturbation in Spinning Chair, Inflatable Dildo Fucking, Blowjob, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Mish, Pile Driver, Domination, Leash Action, Girl/Girl Gratuity, Ball Action, Cunnilingus, Dueling Head, Alternating Head, Sex Swing Fucking, Sex Swing Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Sex Swing Anal Mish, Sex Swing Anal Pile Driver, Sex Swing Anal Doggy, Gaping, $hot on Ass, $hot on Vagina

Score:2 out of 5

You know it's sad when, after watching nearly four hours of Tanya Hyde humping, the only things you remember are the ancillary details – the totally mod enclosed orb chair, a bright white table filled with colorful dildos, the amount of stubble on the men's faces. Frankly, everything up to the sex swing sequence could be cut out and you really wouldn't miss much. Once the amorous apparatus is employed, our interest level in the lewdness increases, mostly because such a device is incredibly novel. Yet once we've seen it used a couple dozens times, it too grows dreary.

Scene 2:Subterranean Sex Slaves (2 Girls, 2 Guys)

Acts Performed:Shower Masturbation, Bondage, Cunnilingus, Salad Tossing, Fingering, Anal Beads, A to M, Magic Wand Teasing, More Toy Time, Anal Fingering, Anal Tongue Fucking, Blowjob, Sex Chair Oral, Sex Chair Mish, Harness Fucking, Harness Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, Anal Doggy, Gaping, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hots on Face and in Mouth

Score:2 out of 5

Perhaps the best sex sequence in the entire set, our look at two indentured sluts is slippery, squishy, and on occasional, very steamy. Again, it's the introduction of a harness, and how it is used, that increases our attention. Prior to the plowing, however, we do get some interesting toy tricks. Most impressive is the first few moments of anal beading. Our gals really enjoy stuffing plastic up their pooper, and before it eventually overstays its welcome, we dig the dumper dynamic. For those of you that love gaping, there are some gargantuan examples here, as well as lots of additional anal angles and adventures. Had the hardcore been hampered, just a little, and not allowed to go on indefinitely, we'd have a sensational scene. As a result, it's as equally aggravating as it is arousing.

Scene 3:The Twisted World of Strap On Jane (3 Girls, 1 Guy)

Acts Performed:Bondage, Discipline, Fingering, V to M, Dildo Aparatus, Cunnilingus, Strap-On Action, Strap-On Doggy, Strap-On Anal Doggy, Four Finger Gape(!!!),Strap-On Anal Cowgirl, Strap-On V to M, Male Bondage, Blowjob, Ball Action, Fountain-Like Urination, Cunnilingus, Sex Swing Action, Cranial Toy Sex Swing Fucking, Sex Machine Action, Sex Machine Mish, Sex Machine Anal, Sex Swing Mish, Sex Swing Anal $hot in Gaping Ass

Score:2 out of 5

Finishing up Disc 1 with one of the longest sequences of sex the Dirge has ever seen, Strap-On Jane and her faux phallus adventures threaten to never reach a climax during this far too lengthy launch into lesbianism. Sure, the strange steel apparatus with the chrome cock on the end of a stick in intriguing, as is the robotic fuck machine that endless pumps a horny honey. And the fact that Jane enjoys working her woman-wang is a fairly engaging element. But the gynecological look inside one actress's ass, and the post-bondage piss taken by another (talk about your horse whizzing on a rock moments!) really detracts from what makes XXX action exciting. Oh sure, it may be feeding a particular fetish, but it really only adds nausea, not naughtiness, to the entire film.

Scene 4:Gothic (2 Girls, 2 Guys)

Acts Performed:Male Leather Bondage, Masturbation, Face Sitting, Salad Tossing, Blowjob, Dildo Play, V to M, Anal Tonguing, Doggy, Pile Driver, Mish, Face Fucking, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Spoon, Cowgirl, $hot on Latex, Stirrup Table Action, Dildo Butter Churning, Anal Dildo Butter Churning, V to M, A to M, Anal Mish, Alternating A to M, $hot in Mouth

Score: out of 5

At this point, we begin to see a true pattern in Ms. Hyde's porn. Start out with a strange set up – in this case, a girl sampling some Absinthe – offer up some oral, get out the toys, then make with the positions. Once we've had about 20 minutes of standard sex, introduce a devilish device (in this case, a stirrup table) and work over the enclosed wench with male member and/or marital aides. Finish off with a pop and watch as the image dissolves into dark. Everything about "Gothic" follows this formula flawlessly, and as a result we get bored even sooner. Sex should be natural and inviting, not staged and insular. Unfortunately, that's all this DVD has to offer.

Scene 5:Atomage (2 Girls, 1 Guy)

Acts Performed:Tit Play, Kissing, Face Sitting, Fingering, Salad Tossing, Dildo Action, Anal Steel Dildo Action, Blowjob, Mish, Alternating V to M, Doggy, Chin Dildo, 69, Pile Driver, Anal Pile Driver, Gaping, $hot in Mouth, Snowballing, Swallowing

Score: out of 5

At this point, who cares!?!? We've witnessed over three hours of intermittently interesting sex, but it's all grown stale and similar. Even the future shock setting, complete with body clinging plastics can't entice us. When one of our meat puppets shows up with a pretender peter on his chin (the apparatus looks like something men in the 50s wore to prevent snoring), we get our horny hopes up once again. But after a few pathetic pumps, the novelty wears off and we're back to wishing this entire enterprise would simply end. Granted, this all looks very, very hot, and there will be those who enjoy the non-stop shagging. But for the most part, this is pornographic overkill, a situation where quantity completely undermines the obvious quality.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating:2 out of 5 (Skip It

Cohabitation Certification:Granted

Some may think this critic crazy for actually complaining about an adult DVD with too much porn. But the issue isn't temporal, it's physical. The performers here offer none of the pure personalized passion we except from a hardcore title. They instead appear like what they are - pawns in Tanya Hyde's overblown aspirations. If the images offered and the acts described get you all excited, then by all means give Orgazm Addictz a rental. But for most XXX fans, this will be a clear case of overblown style over occasionally interesting substance, and as such, warrants a rating of Skip It. As a director, Tanya Hyde has a flair for flesh. Her images are often picture perfect. Too bad that film is a medium of motion. By allowing her sex scenes to go on too long, this filmmaker fucks up everything she's trying to accomplish.