Tomb Raider XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody
Exquisite/Paradox Pictures
Directed by Jordan Septo
Running Time: 2:13:57

Starring:

Chanel Preston
Kagney Linn Karter
Lea Lexis
Gracie Glam
DanI Daniels
Nicole Aniston
Lee Stone
Anthony Rosano
Danny Mountain
Derrick Pierce
Evan Stone

Special Features:

Shot and Edited in HD
Photo Gallery
Behind the Scenes: 1:32:40
Cum Shot Reel: 9:06
Trailers-3

Technical Stats:

Audio: Dolby Digital 2 Channel at 48 kHz and 192 kbps

Video: Mpeg-2 at around 7-8 Mbps

Overall Thoughts:

For those that grew up with video games, there perhaps has never been such a hotter video game character to come along than Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider series. And she was so loved by the gaming community there was even a nude mod for the game. The main problem with that, back in those pixels were not really as defined and everything, including her boobs, were somewhat blocky and odd shaped.

But through the years, we have gotten better graphics and even got two movies starring Angelina Jolie as the iconic character. And now we take it one step further with this parody from Paradox and Exquisite films. And I am going to play Captain Obvious and say that picking Chanel Preston was the right choice to play  Miss Croft. She has the body and the sex appeal that comes with playing Lara Croft and looks amazing in the costume. And she also brought a nice group of ladies with her, including a personal favorite, DanI Daniels and also Gracie and Kagney, who are not ugly at all. Actually it was pretty much everyone except for Nicole, who if you read the rest of the review, had a rather vanilla scene, but she was still nice to look at, don’t get me wrong.

I think they did a decent job with the franchise, there were certain aspects that could have possibly been better, like some sound effects in the fights or even a little bump in the special effects area. Both of these could have made the action a little better and perhaps the final fight a little more climatic. But the hardest part about this parodies, is trying to figure out how cheesy or serious we are supposed to take them. It is cheesy on purpose or was it supposed to be taken somewhat seriously, it is a porno after all. I am not going to make any assumptions with this movie and will leave that up to you to decide. But the same could be said for the two other Tomb Raider movies.

But as we move on, and look at the special features, which includes a very impressive BTS with a run time of about 90 minutes, which shows up how the filming went, the photo shoots and even some of the work that went into the stunts and fight scenes. So when a studio puts in an effort like that, it is greatly appreciated from this guy. We only get a 2 Channel Dolby Digital, which I am starting to realize it really the norm, and not that many studios give us the bump up to 5.1. I do have to say that the video quality was pretty steady, most times the numbers are all over the place, but this was very consistent.

In the end, I feel pretty good about giving this a HIGHLY RECOMMENDED rating, this is a pretty solid release even if you are not familiar with the game or movies, but I am sure you know who Lara Croft is. And like I said they made the right choice with Chanel Preston playing her. She once again will be queen of nerd dreams, first it was Wonder Woman and now Lara Croft. So sit back, adjust your nerd glasses with pride and get ready for this sexual ride, plenty of material for you to reach your high score a few times.

Scene One: Chanel and Lee

It seems that Chanel is waiting in a hotel room for a potential client, who seems to have an artifact thatthey want her to find. Lee shows up and explains the job a little more, and tempts her with a bag full of money. It seems that have a deal and that she uses sex as a way to seal the deal, instead of a handshake, sounds good to me. She lays on top of him, and after some grinding, they slide off her top and bra and he sucks on her tits, before she ends up on her knees, waiting for his cock. Nice touch with the music by the way. His cock does a nice job of exploring the depths of her mouth, as she swallows him whole. He slides off those booty shorts and picks her up for some standing 69 action. After that, he lays her on the bed and begins lapping her pussy with his tongue. She spreads those amazing legs nice and wide as slides his cock in her pussy. And after looking at her legs, we move on to her ass, as the camera gets up close as she ends up top for some cowgirl action, as her tits smother his face, poor guy. Some brief oral and she flips around and is right back on his cock. And some nice grabbing on the pony tail during some doggy action. He seals the deal, as he pulls out and cums in her mouth.

Scene Two: Lea and Derrick

And now we meet the bad guys, who are also out to find this artifact, but are using Chanel to help them. But she needs to try him out before she can really trust him, some nice fore play and he unzips her skin tight suit and admires her tits. And like a good henchmen, he slides off her boots and then she mounts him and then the rest of her suit comes off. She leaves her ass out in his face, as he dives into her pussy, before she takes a seat on his face. We get some 69 action as she gags and swallows his cock, in a very wet blowjob. After a little begging she ends up on her back, as he fucks her pussy with some great energy, try not to stare at her boobs, you may get hypnotized. He may be the henchmen, but he shows her who is in charge with some grabs to the throat. And the rough stuff continues with some hair pulling. She climbs on top and goes for a wild ride with plenty of booty clapping and slaps across her ass, as she begs for him not to stop. He reaches around and shoves a few fingers in her ass, while continuing to fuck her pussy. She moves forward and once again takes a seat on his face, while they both slap her ass. She slides back to his cock and this time, he gets some anal action, and boy do these two have some energy. They both get a little chance to catch their breath as she gives him some more wet oral action, and then climbs back on his cock for some more anal action, reverse cowgirl style, which soon leads to some spoon action. We are getting plenty of wet oral and anal action in this scene, so if that’s your thing, enjoy. After some doggy action, she spreads her ass for him as he cums on her ass.

Scene Three: Kagney, Danny and Evan

And now it’s time for some action, as Chanel is diving in between rocks and even throws in some rock climbing action. But its hard to concentrate on the action when she is wearing those shorts, and that view. The idol is found, but more info is brought to her attention and after taking care of some business, she is off to do some more searching. It seems next stop is Egypt and she ends up in trouble right away. Danny and Evan throw in a cell, and they soon get a visit from Kagney who is here to check up on them, but is here to help Chanel out. If only she can figure out a way to distract these two..hmmmm. They make a nice Kagney sandwich, and then keeps them distracted with her mouth and pussy. And she does a great job of keeping them distracted, what prisoner? Some great reverse cowgirl action, as she hops up and down on Danny’s cock, with a helping hand from Evan. Chanel is long gone, but there is no reason for Kagney to stop as the guys take their turns with her pussy and mouth. Kagney is one of those girls that if cloning becomes available, we are going to see a world with plenty of copies of her around. The guys lay down and she takes turns hoping on their cock, then after some begging with that sexy voice, they pull out and cum on her tits and pussy.

Scene Four: Chanel, Gracie and DanI.

Back to Chanel, who is tired and exhausted as the search continues, but luckily after passing out, she is rescued by the lovely Gracie and DanI. For saving her life, she wants to show her appreciation the best way possible. And boy this is going to be awesome. We start off with lots of kissing as they help each other slowly out of their outfits. As the girl slowly slide off Chanel shorts, they take turns lick and playing with her pussy. Nice little train going, and then Chanel and DanI double team Gracie, whose pussy is very wet from the finger action from Chanel. And hopefully by now you can see why I had DanI in my list of girls I hope to see more of this year. And Chanel and Gracie agree as they turn their attention to her, giving her pussy and ass some attention. And then Chanel has the ladies turn around with their asses to the camera, thank you and begins to finger their pussy, with a little love to their ass too.

Scene Five: Nicole and Anthony

Back at headquarters it seems that communication has been cut off from Chanel and Kagney to Anthony. But communication gets resolved and it’s time to get back to work. After a brief final battle and it’s time to relax, and as promised Anthony’s bonus shows up, the lovely Nicole. He grabs on to her tits as she hops on the desk. He slides off her panties and begins to lick and suck her pussy. She ends up on all fours on the desks and begins to work over his cock, focusing a lot on the tip, with her mouth. She lays back on the table, as he slides his cock in her pussy, while getting a nice hold of her tits. She flips around and bends over the table for some doggy action, as she gazes into his eyes. Nothing really that special in this scene, it really seems that this has fallen a little flat in the third act, which is really a shame, was doing so well. She climbs on for some cowgirl and then flips around for some reverse cowgirl action. She ends up back on the table and says he can cum inside her for his big bonus. She licks up the cum as it drips out of her pussy.