2007, 90 minutes plus extras

Cast: Mary, Kaycee Dean, Jersey Cummings, Kassie, John Janiero, Aaron Wilcox

In this sad, mixed up world where pubic hair is considered disgusting, fans of female follicles down below have to be thankful for whatever pussy patches they can glimpse. The four girls in this collection of amateur porn submissions all have some degree of pube presence, though only one of them has a bush that could pass for that of a Penthouse model circa 1973. I'm unacquainted with most of the discs in this long-running series from Homegrown Video, but I've got to believe that "Natural Bush 38" falls short of the mark.

Scene 1. Fair-skinned dark blonde cutie Mary (the girl on the DVD box cover) comes home, gets undressed, combs her short and sparse matching pubes, then lies back and masturbates, working up a wet mess which the unseen cameraman zooms right in on (the squishy sounds are a turn-on). Mary says not one word until late in the segment, when she moans while using a dildo. She does mutter something like "Wasn't that fun?" before fadeout, but it's too little interaction too late.

Scene 2. Things improve in the second seg as pigtailed, glasses wearing, self-described geek Kaycee Dean lies back and chats with the initially unseen John Janiero. She stands up and doffs her T-shirt to reveal lovely real breasts, then kicks off her shorts to let her beautiful, full butt breathe, then slips off her thong panties. She, too, runs a comb through her snatch, then stands above the well-placed cameraman and rubs off a bit. Janiero gets into camera range to do some pussy licking, which Kaycee clearly appreciates. She eventually sucks his dick while he fingers her (the camera, again, well positioned at her crotch and looking toward her face) before they get down to serious humping - in reverse cowgirl, doggy and missionary positions. Kaycee claims to have not shaved her pubis for "about two months," which seems about right, considering the middling length and thickness of what in a few more months would clearly develop into a serious triangle of goodness. Oh, and she could have a career as a Britney Spears porn look-alike - if she hasn't already gone that route.

Scene 3. Pretty, young brunette housewife Jersey Cummings is in her bathroom talking to her guy as he lies in bed (she's shot from his - our - POV). She drops her robe to reveal a lovely body and a nice little triangle of darkness. Sit squats in her tub and lathers up her pussy, which is enough to rouse her hunky hubby (Aaron Wilcox) to come over and start lapping away. Fellatio follows, then humping, and a cum shot on the bush. Nothing spectacular, but the players are attractive.

Scene 4.Kassie, a dark Chicana who claims to be 23 but looks a little worn around the edges, lolls around in her undies while chatting with an unseen interviewer. She strongly intimates a deep desire for lots of sex, but despite the presence of a guy in the room, her scene is strictly a solo act involving a vibrating, two-pronged dildo, then a long clit vibrator. Much of her scene is just her lying back with the latter loud device held in place, though her orgasm seems genuine as she frets about getting the bed wet. Kassie has the most eye-catching bush on the disc - the hair is dark, long and unusually straight. Unfortunately, her scene takes place in a room with dingy chartreuse walls and on a bed with zebra-stripe sheets, something that lessons from a porn stylist like Andrew Blake could have prevented. The videography is barely adequate, with the lighting and color fading in and out - not exactly conducive to losing yourself in the action.

THE DVD

Like other Homegrown releases, "Natural Bush 38" is a navigational challenge that requires patience. Pop the disc in and it proceeds to run through a lot of shit you'd like to skip over but can't - a phone sex ad, an ad for those wanting to submit sex tapes, an ad for HGV's mobile phone service, a pitch for the HomegrownCam, a montage of scenes available at MyHomegrown.com. (There are sizable stretches of black screen between each of these ads, and pushing the Menu button will get you nowhere. Hitting the chapter skip can send you in any number of directions, including - yikes! - back to the start.)

When the disc finally reaches the main menu of its own accord, you have a decent full-motion screen offering Play Movie, Bloopers, Web Info (which you've already had to sit through), Previews and Bonus Scene. You can also click on any of the four girls to get right to her scene - with each one's main screen offering three chapter selections.

The previews are of other Homegrown product, naturally, while the blooper reel (a montage of farts, pussy farts, camera mishaps and other on-set goofiness) and the bonus scene (lovely brunette Claudine masturbating, then humping a lucky guy) have been seen before on other HGV discs.

Each of the four shot-on-video scenes is presented in 4:3 full frame. Because Homegrown's product is purportedly the result of amateur submissions, there is no consistent look or tone to the segments. Scene 3 is the best looking, with a realistic and attractive set and good lighting to go with its good-looking stars. The sound -- basic two-channel -- is a non-issue throughout the disc since no one is saying much and there's no background music.

 THE LAST WORD

Yes, the bushes here are technically "natural" - they are made of real hair that has been allowed to grow for a period of time - but true bearded clam aficionados will be disappointed by their rather demure neatness. Those who prefer to venture into dense forests should look elsewhere. But even less demanding viewers are likely to lose patience with the disc's balky behavior. Rent it for dork-sexy Britney Spears doppelganger Kaycee Dean.