Scene 1: Sativa Rose, Marco Duato
Acts Included: Oral (both), vaginal
Positions: Missionary, doggie, reverse cowgirl
Condoms: No

Sativa, as she tells the camera, is a "chronic barhopper." She also "likes to randomly go home with guys, and get fucked by them as well." Praises be that she added the last clause. I thought she just needed places to stay. That would make for boring video.

Anyway, it's not the most energetic performance, as the young Hispanic woman hits the same moan throughout several positons in and around a home bar (see, she's a "barhopper!" Get it?! Okay.).

Hokey Moment of the Day: The phone rings late in the performance, with Sative answering, saying, "What?! I'm getting fucked!" Mystery Science Theater 3000 material.

Anyway, he "finishes" on her ample chest, then she puts it in a shot glass and shoots it. Because she's a barhopper. Subtle.

Scene 2: Randi Wright, Mr. Pete
Acts Included: Oral (both), vaginal.
Positions: 69 (standing), cowgirl, doggie, reverse cowgirl
Condoms: No

Wright is outside on a couch that is on a rock overlooking (possibly?) the San Fernando Valley. She explains it away in her "dialogue," saying "I like to be comfortable." Fair enough.

Wright and Pete go at it on the couch, but quickly move onto and around the giant boulder. The setting makes it difficult for either party to get too crazy - nothing worse than a skinned knee on the set - but they give it a good go.

Bonus points for the standing 69, adding to the scene's degree of difficulty. Remember, when trying this at home, lift with your kneees.

Scene 3: Simone, Marco Duato, Jerry
Acts Included: Oral (both), vaginal.
Positions: cowgirl, standing, doggie, reverse cowgirl, spoon (all in the "fingercuffs" variation)
Condoms: No

Please welcome to the stage Simone, who says in the intro that she "loves European dick." To prove the point, she and the two guys she's sandwiched between start uttering fourth grade Spanish ("Ay ay ay. Me gusta mucho.").

Here is a short list of places Simone would seemingly rather be than having sex with these two guys on this couch: The DMV; on line at the grocery store; I-405, the most congested freeway in America, during rush hour; a meeting of "Focus on the Family" entitled "How to Properly Burn a Witch (Or Porn Star)." She keeps looking over at the camera throughout the scene, as if she's asking if she's done yet.

Scene 4: Porsha Blaze, Marco Duato, (uncredited)
Acts Included: Oral (both), vaginal
Positions: Doggie, spoon, missionary, reverse cowgirl, cowgirl
Condoms: No.

No intro for Ms. Blaze, as we start right in with her and her two, um, "suitors." It's another outdoor scene, though the wind seens to have died down. Porsha herself is a brunette (with a streak of maroonish) and looks all natural.

Porsha is downright nasty, riding these two like she's trying to put them in the groin burn ward unit of the local hospital. Never even taking the time to really get unclothed (possibly a good thing - her figure is not her selling point), she goes at it like she, you know, wants to go at it. The hottest scene of the disc.

Scene 5: Tiana Lynn, Mr. Pete
Acts Included: Oral (both), vaginal
Positions: Doggie, missionary, spoon, 69, standing
Condoms: No.

The cover girl gets the main event slot, as she introduces herself by breaking the Jason Mewes Commemorative Record for "Most Profanity Without Taking a Breath" with, "I love to suck fucking huge cock. I can't wait to suck this one, lick his balls and slap his dick around," with delivery borrowed from the "C.L.I.T." speech in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Now, with the image of Kevin Smith in your mind, let's talk about sex. First, she breaks her tough girl talk about 45 seconds in, apologising for pulling down his pants too fast. Then, the guy has to instruct her on how to give a camera-friendly blow job, folding her arm out of the way. This happens again as the scene progresses. Her moaning is delivered to the camera, as if to say, "Look at me! I'm moaning." The moaning doesn't stop when she's not in action, either.

She's a very attractive woman, with the sexiest green eyes, but a complete turnoff on camera.