National Porn Star Acquirer: Charlie’s Girls!!!

JM Productions

Genre: Compilation, Kacey Jordan, Capri Anderson

Director: Jim Powers

Cast: Kacey Jordan, Jay Lassiter, Johnny Fender, Damian, Capri Anderson, Toastboy, mope squad

Length: 80:41 minutes

Dates of Production: 6/12/2009, 7/1/2009

Extras: There was a photogallery, two text biographies, some trailers, and spam. There was no behind the scenes footage as advertised on the back cover.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: National Porn Star Acquirer was presented in 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Jim Powers for JM Productions. This compilation was based on scenes shot a few years ago, none of them particularly high end, just down and dirty smut where you can see the action and hear what was said in most cases. The bitrate hovered around the 5.7 Mbps mark when spot checked, the standard definition release using the most basic of lighting and editing techniques as far as I could tell. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital using a 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps bitrate, the hum of the camera as prevalent as the vocals often enough.

Body of Review: Jim Powers is one of the few remaining “classic smut” directors in the porn industry, his various titles for companies associated with JM Productions typically dropping all artistic pretense in favor of degradation of the women. This is not a bad thing since there is certainly a proven market for such works, fans of some performers appreciating seeing them in this light as an alternative to the arty-farty crud populating the market enough of the time to make production worthwhile. Jim’s latest release making it my way is a compilation of four older scenes called National Porn Star Acquirer: Charlie’s Girls!!!, cashing in on the media Charlie Sheen scandals by showing older scenes with women the man has more recently been tied to. In this case, that means a scene with Capri Anderson and three scenes with Kacey Jordan, neither of them ever known as top tier performers. While not labeled as a compilation, and I admittedly had to guess at a few of the original movies, there was no new footage included here and I get the impression that if Charlie had seen any of these scenes, he would have had far less trouble by simply avoiding these two women, his rolex and wallet safe from one of them and the other would not have been selling her story to the highest bidder after cashing his check. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Gag Factor 30: Kacey Jordan, a skinny blond with a girl-next-door face, was up first wearing an animal print slip as she sat in a chair in front of some reflective streamers. She masturbated until Jay Lassiter stepped in to provide her some cock, the gal slurping and sucking it until he launched a modest wad of genetic juice into her mouth. The hummer was messy but really nothing special, no other forms of sex included in the scene.

Scene Two: Midnight Prowl 17: Kacey Jordan, next up in a limousine naked, played around by a small airport until the director tired of feeling her up. They stopped to pick up Johnny Fender and Damian, the format similar to the original series from decades ago that spawned this one. The men took turns getting their knobs slobbed and there was then an abrupt edit point where the trio resumed on a mattress in a messy office where some passive vaginal positions led the guys to nutting on her face in turns. Mike bust first with no warning, his wealth of population pudding gracing her face from a semi-flaccid penis, Damian doing her in doggy until it was his turn to beat off some spunk to the other side of her face.

Scene Three: Gag Factor 30: Capri Anderson, the cute gal with darker hair wearing the pink lingerie on the center of the front cover, was up next on a couch with her boyfriend “Toastboy” as Jim interviewed them. She teased and showed off her tattoo collection before he dropped his draws to give her access to his pecker. The messy blowjob led to him popping a round of semen on her face, her parting words being “bye guys!” to the spew as she brushed it off her mug.

Scene Four: American Bukkake 39: Kacey Jordan, now reclining on a workout bench in a gym, was surrounded by a collection of low end losers one could truly call a “mope squad” that numbered in excess of 35 men. Unfortunately, all she did was relax as they beat off smallish wads of spunk to her face, giving it that glazed look the title would suggest. The original cover advertised that she took 69 pop shots and frankly, given some of the secondary loads coming out from nowhere, I’m not about to concern myself with the specific numbers.

Summary: National Porn Star Acquirer by director Jim Powers for JM Productions was really weak from a strokability standpoint, the mere fact that no mention was made of the compilation nature of the production killing it for me further. If you are into titles that cost this much and only give two blowjobs, one bukkake, and a straightforward threesome, you will enjoy it more than I did which is why I list it as a Skip It. Kacey Jordan and Capri Anderson showed precious little potential for strokability, there was no replay value, and I guess I expected a lot more from a director so often able to really rock the socks off of his audience. In short, National Porn Star Acquirer: Charlie’s Girls!!! was low grade smut designed for a specialty market, the company’s other release tied in to the Charlie Sheen scandal presumably superior (and using new footage) so check that one out instead.