How To Seduce A MILF

Shane’s World

Genre: Comedy, Vignette

Director: None Credited

Cast: Julia Ann, James Deen, Allison Moore, Dane Cross, India Summer, Michael Vegas, Sarah Vandella, Tony Martinez

Length: 77:28 minutes

Date of Production: 2014

Extras: The best extra was the 22:55 minute long bonus scene from College Guide To Female Orgasms between Lyla Storm and Brad Tyler as described below. There were then 15:09 minutes of interviews focusing largely on Julia Ann but also including India Summer. There was also a photogallery.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: How To Seduce A MILF was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by the uncredited directors of Shane’s World. The menu was actually done in full frame, a retro surprise to say the least, but the four vignettes were not so hampered, the flesh tones accurate, the framing fairly well done, and the admittedly sporadic editing not the worst I have seen of late, the visual elements all looking pretty good. The aural components were similar in that sense, the vocals clearly heard with the limited music and sound effects appropriate to the comedic situations.

Body of Review: Shane’s World has long stood as a company dedicated to offering an alternative form of gonzo, the initial company springing forth from the popular Seymore Butts series. After the company changed hands, it diversified from the fantastic travelogue sex shows and focused on college tours as well as a series of comedy “how to” shows, the latest just coming out this week with How To Seduce A MILF. It’s been far too long since the company has released any of their zany shows so I really had high hopes for this one knowing it had well known comedic porn star James Deen, a frequent flier in MILF scenes, as the primary educator. The back cover described the movie like this: “Did you know there are different kinds of MILFS? Julia Ann and James Deen will show you how to seduce the sophisticated MILF. Aliison Moore will show the world of the just-turned MILF. And for those of you who already know how to seduce a MILF, India Summer and Michael Vegas have a special treat for that kinky MILF in your life. Get wild with Sarah Vandella and her naughty cougar juice. These MILFS know what you want and they're all going to give it to you. Hard, wet, pounding fun awaits. Enjoy!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Julia Ann, the blond bombshell with the juicy boobs seen featured on the upper left hand corner of the front cover, was up first with debonair James Deen, the man also featured though on the lower middle of the cover. James was giving pointers to moper Dane Cross on scoring with MILFs which led to a discussion on wine and cooking one’s way into a woman’s heart. The couple were in the kitchen where she placed their culinary delight in the over, robed James grabbing Julia for a frisky kiss before they were all over each other on the large bed. He spent some time sucking her erect nipples and she dry humped him before a quick edit removed her skirt, James gobbling her gash before pounding the bald beaver in a teasing fashion. Julia then slobbed his knob with some hand to gland friction, aggressively devouring his rod and nuzzling his nuts as well as licking his taint before additional vaginal positions drained his dragon of semen that he delivered all over her chest.

Scene Two: Allison Moore, an attractive woman who was claimed to be a just turned MILF, was then up with clumsy Dane Cross, James’ advice interspersed between clips of the couple’s conversation, Allison having to make the first move as she peeled off her attire and jumped in bed. Her thick ass and pleasing breasts helped make her well worth going for, Dane shown as taking forever to catch a hint as his attempts at art were laughably left on the floor. The naked gal then dragged him to bed where some kissing led to her inhaling his turgid rod, the admittedly modest member not presenting much of a challenge for the experienced lady as she stroked him and continued throating him before she mounted him vaginally. She had a wisp of pubic hair and a few extra pounds that gave him something to hold onto, the gal groaning like he was somehow satisfying her making it seem too much like a fantasy of his. He ended it by pulling out of her and unleashing a small wad of sperm on her ass crack, some of the fluids oozing down onto her pussy before an abrupt edit point.

Scene Three: India Summer, a popular MILF with a pronounced tan line, was up next demanding Michael Vegas come up with a series of kinky exploits to excite her, relying heavily on dressing up his pecker in costumes (much like Montel the talking dildo worked wonders in the early “Jack’s Playground” series elsewhere years back. This interested her and she was all over him, the guy sucking her feet as they stripped in bed to continue kissing and caressing with oral attention delivered to all the right spots. He spent more time sucking her feet than her pussy but she gave him a quick hummer all the same, jumping on his bone to actively ride him with some intermittent oral as they switched positions from time to time. India is always into the sex and an active rider, her eye contact elevating the quality of the scene which ended when he doused her snatch with seed.

Scene Four: Sarah Vandella, a thick blond that I haven’t seen in a long time now, was up next as a cougar who smelled the new cologne of Tony Martinez called cougar juice. The intense smell excited her by the pool as she read “Grapes of Wrath”, the two quickly ending up in the house where she throated his flaccid little cock as she stripped naked from her pool attire. Sarah was pleasingly plump here, almost ready to join Rob Perez’s crew, her oral efforts working well enough to get him hard for her to ride vaginally. Sarah sucked and fucked him actively, acting like she was on a time clock but the guy as small as I have seen in some time too, her tits bouncing as she rode him until he nutted on her crotch and let her lick him clean. There was also a funny ending to the tryst but I won’t spoil it for you like some of the ass hat reviewers seem all too willing to do these days.

Bonus Scene: College Guide To Female Orgasms: ”Lyla Storm, the sexy brunette featured on the left side of the cover, was up next with Brad Tyler once the discussion of body language and openness came up. After the instructional portion was over, the couple was kissing in bed, removing clothing on a faster pace though Lyla seemed open to all sorts of fun such as playing with his nipples. He pawed her and followed her lead, the gal teasing his bulging boner with body sliding and licks until he was set to fingering her snatch. She blew air on his rod before licking his balls, gingerly sucking the head as her as remained in the air. As she wanted him inside of her pussy, she climbed onto his pecker and allowed him to do most of the work, the gal getting more active with time in terms of riding, her oral skills getting a workout between positions as well. Lyla seemed to be there for the sheer enjoyment of the tryst too, enhancing the ride even before she let loose with some superior hip shaking, her laughter not at him but at how much fun she was having. When the right time came, he withdrew from her pussy and bathed her in a nut of spunk, the baby batter let loose all along her torso as she displayed a great deal of enjoyment.”

Summary: How To Seduce A MILF by Shane’s World was the shortest fuck flick I have seen in a long time, missed numerous examples of providing both insider jokes as well as more pop culture references, and might be best remembered for using charming Julia Ann and India Summer in key skits though fleshy Sarah Vandella and Allison Moore were not bad either so I rated this as a Rent It, it never living up to the potential of the theme as previous shows have done. In short, How To Seduce A MILF had some cute comedic bits but they were too sparse and the sex too quickly finished to satisfy my expectations, the back catalog of similar titles much more of interest given their largely unscripted nature and being full of surprises.