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Roseanne The XXX Parody

Dream Zone Entertainment

Genre: Sitcum Porn Parody

Director: Jim Enright

Cast: Dylan Ryder, Vin Vericose, Violet Monroe, Kris Slater, Jules Sterling, Johnny Castle, Kayla Paige, Jack Lawrence, Kelly Shibar, Tim Von Swine

Length: 85:42 minutes

Dylan Ryder with Vin Vericose

Dates of Production: 4/15/2010 and 4/16/2010 (per company website); 4/29/2010 (credits)

Extras: The only extra was the series of six short photogalleries.

Condoms: None

Violet Monroe

Audio/Video Quality: Roseanne The XXX Parody was presented in a 1.78:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen offering as shot by director Jim Enright for Dream Zone Entertainment in the MPEG-2 codec. The video bitrate was on the high side at times, occasionally dropping down to 5.1 Mbps when I spot checked it, but the visuals seemed to be in line with other knock off parodies shot quickly on a low budget. My memories of watching the original show when it first aired are limited but I remember it having that bright, flat look of network television and this parody did not look the same, the sex evenly lit better than the limited dialogue parts of the show. While there were numerous shadows on the screen and some modest compression artifacts, the basic premise was suitably handled even if there was little attempt to mirror the sets this time. It was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 48 kHz sampling rate and 192 Kbps bitrate, the ambient background noise okay but some dubbing of the vocals appeared likely. The music was pretty bad though and it would have been nice for something a bit closer to the original.

Jules Sterling

Body of Review: Jim Enright is no stranger to making likable porn features and parodies, his latest coming from Dream Zone Entertainment in the form of Roseanne The XXX Parody. The original show was about the Connor family, a nuclear family in the late 80's to late 90's that had a lot of problems (typically centering around lack of money). The star of the show was always Roseanne Barr, the woman hitting it big after portraying Rodney Dangerfield's wife in his HBO special called "It's Not Easy Bein' Me". Unfortunately, Roseanne watered down her "domestic goddess" act for network television and while the show won a lot of awards in its early years, it limped along lamely toward the end of its run since what amounted to a one joke act (an obnoxious and fat lower middle class woman with a decent husband and a shitty group of three kids suffering from delusions of grandeur) ran back to the same old jokes all the time. Still, it did have some moments and love her or hate her, the woman was a prime candidate for getting the pornification treatment by a guy like Jim. The back cover described the movie like this: "The domestic goddess is preparing for a nice family meal when she is confronted by the horrible fact that everyone around her is having sex. Darlene and David, Becky and some random jock and even her bouncy little boy is coming into his manhood with his college professor. Roseanne is just trying to digest her food but can't help getting caught up in the carnal pleasures that seem to surround the Conner household. Find out what happens when one of America's funniest family takes off the gloves and the clothes." Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Kayla Paige

Scene One: DJ & the Teacher: Dylan Ryder, a curvy brunette wearing purple and black lingerie, was up first on her desk at school, preparing to assist Vin "DJ" Vericose for his graduate exams. He played with her large implants and went down on her, savoring the taste of her snatch before she reciprocated nicely, her hummer getting hard enough to tear her up vaginally. They boned in a few positions and really did not have much of a chance to engage in dialogue, the active vaginal sex including some taste testing before she tossed out his wad of genetic juice to her face. They did not appear to have any discernable chemistry but it was not a bad opening scene all the same.

Kelly Shibar

Scene Two: Darlene & David: Violet Monroe, the redhead on the upper right side of the front cover, was up with Kris Slater, the guy beside her on the cover, next. She wore purple bikini undies and he spent a lot of time with her tits, clumsily taking her attire off as he worked his way down her average frame. She rewarded him with a fair blowjob, not going very deep but using her hand to make up for it as she slobbed his knob. Once she warmed up, she was moderately active during the vaginal riding positions on the couch, the gal using the same phrases too much and weakening the scene for me. It ended when he jerked off to her face, the gal sitting silently like a lump on a log.

Scene Three: Becky & the Jock: Jules Sterling, the blond gal showcased on the upper left hand side of the front cover, was up next and the first thing I noticed about her in the sex scene was how great her ass looked in those red bikini panties. She dressed up for studly Johnny Castle and he soon had his hands all over her on the couch, the man nuzzling her tits even before removing her bra. He continued downward as he serviced her orally, the lame music in the background again sounding cheesy as could be. Johnny rimmed her perfect pucker and she responded with a modest blowjob, fishing his pecker out of his pants before gingerly working his head into her mouth a little. The couple then engaged in some vaginal riding, the gal bouncing on cock as though trying to milk him dry quickly, a degree of passion elevating the energy levels and chemistry of the action. The scene ended with a facial but she did appear to like him even if the audio appeared slightly "off" during the ending.

Scene Four: Jackie & the Cop: Kayla Paige, the lean and light haired gal on the upper center of the front cover, was up next as she kissed Jack Lawrence in the jail cell. While I mostly remember her character portraying a lesbian on the show, there were some times when she seemed into men so I guess that makes sense to showcase her like this. He pulled off her clothing as he went down on her body, stopping to appreciate her chest and labia as she moaned loudly. Her skimpy lingerie did not enhance her as much as some of the others though, her implants seeming out of place for the role. In any case, she gave at least as well as she received orally, drawing him in to kiss her from time to time and position him to begin the vaginal screwing positions well enough. As with the others, the formula was followed and she did some taste testing, Jack jerking a round of semen out to her face.

Scene Five: Rosanne & Dan: Kelly Shibar, the large brunette sitting down on the front cover, was up last as the titular character, working with the best "Dan" impersonation I think I have ever seen thanks to talented Tim Von Swine. She was dressed in black lingerie and he was already in bed when she joined him, her fishnet stockings looking pretty good even if you don't acknowledge chunky chicks as good in bed. They kissed and he went down on her, spending a very brief time on her tits before heading south. She reciprocated by sitting on his face, the chunky duo perfectly suited for each other as shown in their 69. He banged her moose knuckle while she passively laid on the bed, a few positions later beating off his pud to her chest for a small stream of semen.

Summary: Roseanne The XXX Parody by director Jim Enright for Dream Zone Entertainment was not the best sitcum parody effort around but Tim Von Swine was an excellent choice to play Dan Conner here, his imitation of John Goodman's character quite decent. I thought the lack of real extras and limited vision of the show made this parody worthy of a Rent It rating but fans of the show should enjoy it for all the above stated reasons so check it out. In short then, Roseanne The XXX Parody followed to strict of a formula and hampered the cast considerably, the net result being those of you that really liked the original.