This Ain't Star Trek XXX

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody, Feature

"Select A Star"

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Jenna Haze, Tony Desergio, Aurora Snow, Nick Manning, Sasha Grey, Evan Stone, Codi Carmichael, Cheyne Collins, Jada Fire

Non-sex roles: Ero Sennin, Anthony Rosano

The title screen

Length: 120:13 minutes

Date of Production: 3/31/2009

Jenna Haze and Tony Desergio

Extras: Aside from the spam populating both discs, there was a set of three unrelated bonus scenes listed below, a slide show, trailers, a 1:38 minute long Storyboard feature by the director, 4:00 minutes of Bloopers, a fun, 23:02 minute version that eliminates all the sex scenes for those Trekkies that can't handle the melding of more than minds, and a 45:50 minute long Behind the Scenes feature. I really liked the extras package and except for the spam and unrelated sex scenes (would it kill the company to occasionally add in a related scene shot for the movie itself?) the second disc was full of really fun extras worth checking out.

Condoms: None

Aurora Snow and Nick Manning

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't Star Trek XXX was presented in a colorful 1.78:1 ratio, anamorphic widescreen, offering as shot by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video using the 480p resolution and MPEG-2 codec typical of standard definition projects. The initial reaction I had was to appreciate how much more time Hustler spent on making this one look something like the original show, a far cry from their first, somewhat feeble attempts in the genre. The pornified sets and costumes were better than average for this type of show, the lower budgets and time constrictions having a greater impact than on a sitcum styled parody. The editing wasn't as strong as the best genre efforts but Claudia Ross seemed up to the task of polishing up Axel's raw footage nicely enough, doing a better job than was done in the recent Happy Days parody I reviewed earlier this month. The standard definition version of the flick had a few compression artifacts, only a bit of noise & edge enhancement, and proper lighting to assist in making the movie look more like the original, the show greatly benefitting from the participation of comedian Roger Krypton in a behind the scenes capacity. In short, in terms of the visual esthetics, this title was another parody done reasonably right, providing various double entendres but not goofing on the show as I thought it would. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a 192 Kbps audio bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the score close enough to provide an aural experience in line with the low budget original series. The vocals were clear and crisp most of the time, some slight delay indicating a synchronization problem ever so slightly noticed (it bothered me more the second time I watched the movie) but the special effects noises pretty solid to match the visuals.

Sasha Grey and Evan Stone

Body of Review: Axel Braun has been directing porn for years but it was only recently that I considered his works more than generic porn thanks to his Hustler Video release of This Ain't Happy Days XXX. In the sitcum comedy, he showed that he had the ability to craft a serviceable, even amusing situation porn comedy almost on par with some of the better titles on the market. Lest some of you think that is slight praise, parodies have been around for decades and rarely done correctly, so being placed in the leagues of the small handful of also capable directors is akin to being allowed into a very exclusive club. Well, as stated awhile back, I was particularly anxious to see how he fared with This Ain't Star Trek XXX the latest in the porn world's looks at the crew of the starship Enterprise, previous efforts such as the "Sex Trek" series or the internet series Sex Trix I found so adorable notwithstanding, it was a decent effort too, securing Braun's upcoming arrangement to go independent. This time, Kirk is played by the Mighty Evan Stone, Spock less suitably by Tony Desergio, and Dr. McCoy by Cheyne Collins, the rest of the cast quite disposable except for uber villain Khan as played by Nick Manning. The headliners were the basis for the whole show here though, Stone and Manning hammy enough to make their parts work while the rest of the cast kind of meandered about, the scale of the project such that all the minute touches going into the production were appreciated but still showing that the heart of any parody is in the script. That said, the story was a relatively straight forward take on "Space Seed" (how appropriate), the introduction of Khan Noonien Sigh into the series as a genetically enhanced super human capable of great mischief (to the point where he was brought back as the focal point of the "Star Trek II" movie, perhaps the best of the franchise). It was played too close to the material this time to work as well as some of the sitcums but as Hustler's biggest production to date, it was also one of their best in-house features in recent memory. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Codi Carmichael and Cheyne Collins

Scene One: Jenna Haze, waling up from her cold storage slumber, was up first as she applied her charms to Tony Desergio's Spock. Jenna is the multi-award winning hotty seen featured on the lower right corner of the cover, her futuristic hooker outfit tossed aside after she slobbed his knob actively. She played with the saliva and applied both hands to the task in front of her, Tony showing emotion only after a suitable warming up period of time. Jenna was an active vaginal ride though and added in a decent amount of dirty talk to elevate the mood despite the relative lack of chemistry she had for the mope. The scene ended when Tony rubbed out a load of population pudding to her face, the lady licking much of the seed up with a sense of girlish delight.

Jada Fire with Tony and Evan

Scene Two: Aurora Snow, playing the ship historian, was up next as she interviewed Nick "Khan" Manning, the outcome being that they enjoyed each other physically as expected. Once charmed a bit, Aurora dropped to her knees to slob his knob, her oral talents as solid as anyone in the cast. Nick started pounding her pussy hard after that, no stopping to give her head before or after they switched to anal penetration. Aurora has been less active in porn of late but she was the most active rider of the cast, elevating the sexual energy substantially as a result, even doing ATM on talkative Nick while she lamely looked directly into the camera. They screwed some more and he left his load upon her face, Aurora doing some oral cleanup before the scene closed out.

The Bridge and crew

Scene Three: Sasha Grey, the perfect choice to play a Vulcan, was up next with Kirk impersonator Evan Stone, her bout of blood fever atypical for a female but carried out on the transporter pad with the ever horny captain. He felt her up and she blew him very enthusiastically, not to the level of Aurora's performance but better than I've had in a few weeks. Sasha's wooden delivery of her dialogue aside, she did a capable job of her role sexually, straddling Evan in a 69 so they could both enjoy the fruits of their respective loins. He also ate her out between vaginal positions and her attention to him instead of the camera was appreciated. The scene seemed short to me but was otherwise pretty good, his semen landing on her face.

The Extras

Scene Four: Codi Carmichael, a busty blond with a nicely curved figure, was up next as a nurse in Cheyne Collins sick bay. Yeah, guy played Dr. "Bones" McCoy, not his strongest such feature over the years but decently enough for what he was working with script wise, sexually enjoying Codi as much as any straight man would. She was made to masturbate with a plain vibrator to treat a medical condition (I refuse to spoil the plot, as worn as it was), her juices flowing through her crotchless pantyhose. She was so turned on that she jumped on his "bone" (pun intended), and soon had him erect for riding, her total performance passive compared to those that went before her. As eye candy though, Codi was a charmer and she eventually became an active vaginal rider, draining his balls as much by her looks as her performance.

The Bloopers

Scene Five: Jada Fire, playing Uhura and the sole female on the bridge, was up last as she engaged the mighty Evan Stone and Tony Desergio as a means to combat the virus. They throat fucked her and her oral skills were easily up to the task, the command staff apparently proving that interracial sex was just fine in the future of Star Fleet. I'd make a comment regarding the recent release of a revised mainstream Star Trek showing these three involved in a love triangle of sorts but that might be best for you to see for yourselves. Otherwise, the men took turns screwing her mouth, pussy and ass until they rubbed out loads to her face, her energy levels a decent tribute to her longevity in the industry.

The Mighty Evan Stone shorn of his locks for the role of Kirk!

Bonus Scene: A List #2: Jenna is the last girl up and also the same from the DVD cover. She comes with a smoking hot body and a gorgeous face. She's a great gal and very fun to see in action. The scene begins with a tease and a dildo that gets shoved in her butt. Next we find her giving the dude a blow job. Jenna sucks cock like a pro and it is very energetic and fun to watch. Part of it is captured in point of view and it shows off the action is a great light. The sex that follows is also really hot. Jenna is a great looking girl and seeing her get fucked is something you shouldn't miss. The scene ends with a facial. (review by Rob Randell)

Bonus Scene: Barely Legal #62: Sasha is the exotic beauty on the cover of the DVD. Once she meets her man Jerry, she strips naked and lets him lick her pussy. She returns the favor by giving a blowjob that starts off slow yet builds in intensity. Sasha then gets violated in the following positions: cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and spooning. I really liked the facial expression Sasha made while getting worked over - very hot. With her pussy worn out and swollen, Sasha takes a massive blast of jizz to the face. A solid scene and a great performance by Sasha. (review by Peter Rockwell)

Bonus Scene: Pussy Cum Cocktails: Naughty, purring kitten Aurora doubles with the sexy Asian Nautica Thorn. Each gal is comparable in size; perfect thin legs that are hot in black stockings. And budding breasts that are enough to make them women. A guy brings Aurora and Nautica a weird clit-pump. Attached to long tubes, one end is put over each gals clit and suction pulls the hatted boatman Manuel Ferrara into the tube. It's not an exciting device, and if it feels good to the girls, they don't show it; they toss the tubes aside after a few minutes. The greasy haired tube guy spends a long time on the girl's asses; mostly with Aurora's. Licking her pussy lips and tonguing her stinkhole. Aurora and Nautica reciprocate in a duo of sloppy, but short, oral. The acts that follow are all over the place. There's straight cowgirl fucking and face riding that includes vaginal gapes and PTMs. The acts themselves are hot, but they are so disjointed it's hard to enjoy them. The best to come from this is about 5 minutes of Aurora riding cock, stretching her puss and exposing her throbbing chocolate starfish. Two hot starlets give their best, but again, no strong sense of direction lets them kinda float without direction. (review by Saul Good)

Summary: This Ain't Star Trek XXX by director Axel Braun for Hustler Video was more ambitious than his This Ain't Happy Days XXX sitcum and did not make the mark as completely but it was still a lot of fun and merited a rating of Recommended all the same. There was enough sex, extras, and high end talent to satisfy most fans of porn and enough tidbits of "borrowed" trivia to appease the hardcore Trekkies though it was not as intentionally comedic as the previously released Sex Trix so your mileage may vary considerably from mine. I'm a franchise fan and was happy to see the overacting of Manning and Stone in just the right place for their respective talents, a sequel featuring Harry Mudd destined to jumpstart my own porn career according to friends (if they have their way). Seriously though, playing the material so close to the original left me a bit cold, kind of like the way Private does on their feature parodies, but the personalities were enough to overlook such issues and give the movie some replay value worth a purchase. In short, This Ain't Star Trek XXX was a welcome addition to the recent parody craze, holding its own in terms of production values and sexual heat, just needing some polishing up before challenging the bigger players in the feature market at awards time. Axel has proven successful at emulating both comedy and science fiction titles so his planned string of similar titles by his personal production company may eventually rival the leaders in the field, as long as he keeps improving his game like they do.