This Ain’t American Chopper XXX

Hustler Video

Genre: Comedy, Parody

The Ladies

Director: Evan Stone

Cast: Vanessa Veracruz, Dani Jensen, Helly Mae Hellfire, Billy Glide, Lee Stone, Jenna Presley, Evan Stone
Non-sex roles: Mark Stone, Marc Star, XXX-Ray

Length: 158:54 minutes

Date of Production: 2011

Extras: The extras were light this time with some trailers, a photogallery, and spam.

Condoms: None

Vanessa Veracruz and Dani Jensen

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain’t American Chopper XXX was presented in a fetching 1.78:1 widescreen color by director Evan Stone for Hustler Video using MPEG-2 with the usual 480p resolution. The bitrate bounced around a lot but ultimately, I don’t think it was a factor in how things looked thanks to decent lighting and other technical matters being handled properly. There were no obvious compression artifacts, no grain to speak of, and I saw no macro-blocking or other issues that pop up; thanks in no small part to the proper lighting applied here in most cases. The credits listed Sir Licks A Twat as editor, the quality of the edits enough to tell me that it was someone with some experience. The summation of the visuals is that they made the visuals look clear but not at all like the mainstream cable television show being parodied. There was a weird mastering issue here where the DVD appeared to replay some footage midway through but that was the worst thing in terms of the technical values as far as I noticed. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English using a 224 Kbps bitrate at 48 kHz in both versions. The vocals on the scenes were flat and even in most cases and the garage band nature of the music almost more fitting than that of the original show’s aural qualities.

Helly Mae Hellfire with Billy

Body of Review: Evan Stone is one of the few males in porn to rely almost solely on his physical prowess over the years, largely skipping out on moving behind the camera unlike so many of his peers. His latest works at Hustler Video have not exactly set the world afire but they have been cute enough to merit some acclaim, the latest finally making it my way called This Ain’t American Chopper XXX. The show is a very light comedic parody of a cable television show where a father and son motorcycle shop make customized bikes that are often considered borderline art by those who commission them to do so. The show spends a lot of time on the personal dramas of the family and employees too, this pornified version focusing primarily on the sexual encounters and dispensing with the other elements that would normally make up a good parody. With ladies such as Helly Mae Hellfire, Jenna Presley, Vanessa Veracruz, and Dani Jensen, the expected outcome was strokable but my doubts were confirmed regarding the feature elements. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Helly Mae Hellfire with Lee

Scene One: Vanessa Veracruz, the busty brunette seen on the right side of the front cover, was up first in a lesbian tryst with redheaded hotty Dani Jensen. Dani was having a good time working on a chopper when Vanessa came up behind her wearing some really skimpy attire. The two started playing with some feather dusters and light BDSM gear, some lengthy kissing leading to a bit of sensuous caressing as they stripped naked. There was a playful dynamic at work here and the gals were soon munching rug and using vibrators, the lack of genetic juice not getting in the way but the relative lack of chemistry weakening things.

Jenna Presley with Evan

Scene Two: Helly Mae Hellfire, the slutty blond featured on the center of the front cover, was up next as she took a verbal lashing from boss Evan but ended up slobbing the knob of Billy Glide on the desk. She applied some hand to gland combat on his rod as she wrapped her lips around the head, savoring the experience but hardly giving him the kind of oral workout he prefers. That led to Billy eating her out and then vaginally plowing her passive snatch, Helly eventually bouncing on his pecker as she impaled herself soundly. This turn of events was a pleasant surprise and helped give the production some replay value, his cock just too large for her to blow more than a few inches during the taste testing. They did some more of the standard stuff but did so enthusiastically, Helly getting a wad of population pudding to her implants to end the scene.

Jenna Presley (in a slightly different angle)

Scene Three: Helly Mae Hellfire, not quite through with her need for seed, was up again in a storage room with muscular Lee Stone. She was again dressed as a slacker and she again went right for his dick as she knelt before him to orally gratify him, also working his balls as she looked up to challenge him. From there, she continued to work him orally with the addition of some hand to gland combat, focusing her primary attention on his head as she stroked his shaft. Lee then picked her up for a standing 69 (a specialty of his) and afterwards began vaginally banging away at her on the motorcycle. I won’t go into the rash she had on her ass (ewww!) but at least during the doggy style pumping, she put more effort into the tryst, getting even better when she was on top of his lap. The scene then showed some missionary and ended when Lee rubbed one out all over her face, the splooge glazing her fairly nicely.

Dani Jensen with Evan

Scene Four: Jenna Presley, the busty brunette featured on the left side of the front cover (in a red shirt), was up nest with the mighty Evan Stone (as Jay Leno), inhaling his pecker orally as she used her hand to gland combat style to increase the levels of friction on his desk (on the set). The abrupt change was amusing (you’ll just have to watch it) and her oral skills are always welcome in a fuck flick, the active vaginal plowing portions of the scene enhanced by her dirty talk and pouty girl vocals. The tryst ended too soon as Evan pulled out to bath her pussy in semen, Jenna tasting it as she smiled at the results of her efforts.

Scene Five: Dani Jensen, the cute redhead from the opening lesbian scene, was up last in the home garage with Evan Stone, his silly facial hair back in place. As he made it a policy to leave his employees alone sexually, it took a few seconds of pondering before he gobbled her snatch and ass, warming it up for his throbbing bone to tear into. She then slobbed his knob and started actively banging away on the cock, rubbing herself silly as she enjoyed the ride thoroughly. She was always best when she was on top of him but her youthful body looked pretty tight regardless and she joyfully did plenty of taste testing along the way before the ending load of spew landed on her abdomen.

Summary: This Ain’t American Chopper XXX by director Evan Stone for Hustler Video was cute and if you don’t really care in the slightest about the parody elements being wildly far off from the original show, the sexual encounters were pretty decent for a company production. Once the lesbian tryst was out of the way, the rest of the scenes appeared to be appropriate for the biker theme and fans of motorcycles will certainly appreciate the inclusion of some bikes all over the place (including the sex scenes) since I know that this works for them (based on past experience and comments). As such, the production earned a rating of Recommended despite the feature elements rather than because of them, the editing, lighting, and other technical aspects geared to the porn experience far more than the parody portion of the show. In short, This Ain’t American Chopper XXX was another decent showcase for Helly Mae Hellfire but Jenna Presley’s scene was quite strokable as well, the likelihood that a bigger budget and more time might have elevated this one up a few notches a near certainty given the way the sexual basics were covered.