The Movie

Plenty of gorgeous ladies make Meet the Fuckers 5 an interesting gonzo pic, but poor production values seriously hamper the enjoyment of a few scenes.

Scene 1: Monica Sweetheart and Jennifer Stone

The cover girls are up first and they start out dressed like day-glow hookers. If that's an outfit scheme you can't live with, you're not much going to like the following scenes, either.

After some teasing, walking and writhing outside, the girls go indoors to find a gagged, blindfolded and bound man lying on the couch. Like any sensible day-glow hookers, they use their platform shoes to arouse him then take turns sucking him off.

After teasing him to an erection, they take turns fucking him. The sex here is excellent, though the dialogue leaves something to be desired. And yes, it's porn, but when you cross cheesy porno lines with Czech accents and broken English – it can be distracting.

Her enthusiasm is great, but when Stone looks at the camera, it sometimes seems like she's trying to sell you the dick she's riding.

Regardless, the sex was fast-paced, hot and it looked like everyone was having fun. At over 30 minutes, this scene is the showcase, but it might go a little long for some viewers.

Scene 2: Tarra White

The scene opens with Tarra smoking and playing with herself in the mirror before she's surprised by the cameraman. But she's not mad – surprise – she even lets him feel her up until her co-star arrives.

They go through the progression on the floor of the bathroom before taking the show to a bed.

Tarra does a lot of gaping anal in this scene, but both she and her stunt cock seem to be into it, switching positions and holes quite often.

It ends with an internal popshot and Tarra licks the man-goo off her guy's stomach before sharing it, quite thoughtfully, with the lens of the camera.

Scene 3: Julia Taylor

Taking into account the events of this scene, I can't tell if I'd want to visit this doctor's office or not. On the one hand, slutty Julia in the slutty vinyl nurse's outfit is a plus. But then you have to take into account Dr. Noshirt, M.D.

There's some dirty talk in which Julia asks the doctor to help her fix a problem of a sexual nature, but I couldn't make out what she said, thanks to poor sound engineering and her constant klip-klopping platform shoes.

Luckily, I wasn't the one receiving the directions, because the dirty doctor knows how to treat her. They fuck on the exam table and in the...children's bed?...after he examines her with a glass dildo.

The sex starts off slow, but works up to a fever pitch with Julia taking a shot to the face to wrap things up.

Scene 4: Janet Joy and Roxy

Two gorgeous brunettes are the first to wear hooker bathing suits instead of streetwalker clothes on the disc and they start things off by giving a loving blowjob to a suction cup dildo stuck to the floor.

After taking turns riding it, they are presented with a flesh-and-blood dick, which they're happy to suck. The sound of which must have signaled another male from the pack, because a second guy showed up to fuck them shortly after. That poor suction cup dildo was forgotten at this point, but I hear he wanted to get into directing, anyway.

This is the only scene without anal on the disc, but they make up for it with a few double-vaginal DPs. It's a nice, if unremarkable scene. Nothing to write home about.

Scene 5: Lisa Rose

Back in fishnets, Lisa begins the scene dancing in a cage before two guys who look like your creepy uncle and his friend from the bowling alley show up. She blows each through the bars before they release her and take that action to a circular bed.

They cycle through it all with both guys getting a shot at her ass. They are not shy about touching, either, as Lisa gets pancaked between them during a couple of DP shots.

She takes one pop in the face and another in the sphincter to end the scene.

Video:

Presented in 4:3 full screen and it's a decent enough looking film. The girls are, to a one, quite fetching and the guys do a good job, for the most part, of getting out of the way so you can see the girls.

Audio:

Here was where the problems started. Outside shots with wind interference. Mics in all the right spots to catch none of the scripted dialogue, but all of the shoe stomping. That said, none of this is terribly plot driven, so as long as you like people fucking, you're not going to walk away disappointed.

Extras:

For whatever problems Meet the Fuckers 5 has, it makes up for them with the greatest scene selection I have ever used. Not only can you select by the scene, you can select in the scene by the sex act or position. So if you're a fan of anal doggie style, you can go right to what you like.

Also on the disc are trailers, a photo gallery, cumshots loop and a "behind the scenes" featurette that is notable only by the lack of sex and the knowledge that Monica Sweetheart is good about filling out paperwork and got a new car a few months back. Hey, congrats Monica. You deserve it.

In Other Words...:

This is not a film that will redefine the way you look at porn. It's not even all that distinguishable from 95 percent of the other gonzo discs available. But Meet the Fuckers 5 gets the job done with it's sexy ladies and energetic sex scenes. If they could fix some technical glitches, I'd give it a higher rating than Recommended.