Popporn: The Guide to Making Fuck

Zero Tolerance

Genre: Comedy

Director: Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, and Mike Quasar

Non-sex roles: Nina Hartley, Mike Quasar, Brian Bangs, Spock Buckton, Nate Liquor, Josie Jacobs, Patsy, Big Chief Quarterback

Length: 169:23 minutes

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: All of the extras were included on the second disc, starting off with a 15:23 minute long Behind the Scenes feature labeled "Tased!" It was cute and included some interesting moments, the bit about Dane getting fired for suggesting "The Office" parody as the best comedy dead on since it was barely in the top twenty after hits like TMSleaze, Not The Cosby's XXX, Not Married With Children XXX, Operation Tropical Stormy, This Ain't Happy Days XXX, and many others. The 14:00 minute long Blooper reel was even better though as it included more Mike Quasar humor and how some of the skits were worked out. Next up were the cumshot recap and photogallery, and what amounted to a non sex bonus scene by Kimberly Kane lasting 6:04 minutes with the young lady acting like a barber to Spock Buckton. Then came a 9:04 minute long solo scene by Stevie Hart where she used a toy by Evolved Novelties to get off with. There were then a series of interviews with the cast long before the movie was cast (they took old interview footage from conventions that originally aired on the Pop Porn website including Spock with Bobbi Starr, Faye Reagan, and Courtney Cummz, all of them amusing. There was also a BTS photogallery, and the DVD case had a fold out portion on the slipcover.

Courtney Cummz and Marco Banderas

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Popporn: The Guide to Making Fuck was presented in a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen color as shot by directors Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, and Mike Quasar for release by Zero Tolerance last month. The movie looked exceptionally clear, the lighting a nice upgrade from the somewhat generic porn that Mike usually directs, the levels of grain quite minimal. The video bitrate hovered around the 3.7 Mbps area when I spot checked it, varying considerably but always looking pretty solid, the footage apparently caught by a single camera and edited to provide a realistic manner (used by reality shows and action dramas alike). There was no attempt to polish this one up and give it a glossy, overproduced look either, the resulting heat enhanced more often than not as a result, the infamous Double D assisting Mike on camera. The editing was up there with my favorite sitcums of the year so I hope it gets a nod come nomination time, the visual package selling the production much more than I expected it would. The audio was presented in a stereo 2.0 Dolby Digital English, using a 192 Kbps bitrate and 48 kHz sampling rate, the aural qualities suiting the show more than some of the other comedies of the year. At least when the audio is structured this way, you know what you're getting and not some over produced stereo that was a product of the post production process (little porn is shot in true stereo, none in 5.1 surround despite what you may be told). My overall assessment of the technical factors allows me to say that Mike and the others did a fine job here and deserved the attendant accolades.

Body of Review: Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, and Mike Quasar are the trio most responsible for the highly addictive TMSleaze, their combination of humor and willingness to think outside the box (while filming several very nice ones) enough to jump start my hopes that their first title for Zero Tolerance would be at least half as good. The name of the movie is Popporn: The Guide to Making Fuck and it details the exploits of the guys trying to make a porno once given the green light by the company, Brian and Spock's exploits at the excellent Pop Porn website such that it is required reading for anyone interesting in a whimsical look at the modern porn industry. As with previous "mock-umentaries" by people, the idea was to have as much fun at their own expense as include the audience in their exploits, the resulting movie providing more than just the strokable smut one associates with Mike but also the twisted comedy I associate with the entire team over at Pop Porn. The back cover described the movie like this: "What happens when the whacked out, irreverent guys from POPPORN shoot a XXX movie? Total Sexual Anarchy! The result is some of the hottest fuck action ever captured on video including deep, gaping anal... mouth-watering girl/girl and cock-hardening three-ways. Throw in enough laughs to fill the Grand fuckin' Canyon and you've got a "soon to be" XXX classic! No porn collection would be complete without a copy of PopPorn: The Guide to Making Fuck!" Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Lexi Belle with James Deen

Scene One: Courtney Cummz, a hotty by any standard even if she wasn't a major contract performer for years, was up first with popular stud Marco Banderas, the couple making "strong fuck magic" after some food fetish action in the kitchen. The food play was minimal but served the purpose, the two engaging in exaggerated facial expressions for the comedic portion of the movie but soon kissing and rubbing each other like teenager's on prom night. Courtney played with his nipples and he was devoted to her tits, the warming up eliciting squeals of pleasure from the gal even before she slobbed his knob like a seasoned professional. The use of her hand and mouth in unison was a delight to behold, the admittedly over the top way they continued adding a few laughs to the stroking pleasure of the moment. Courtney didn't even give Marco, an oral enthusiast himself, a chance to taste her before impaling herself on his pecker and demanding he fuck her pussy hard. Multi-pop Marco had to stop a few times lest he release his genetic juice prematurely too, her active riding an awesome sight to behold. They continued and their personal chemistry together was fine, surpassed by their enthusiasm and levels of energy though the anal penetration did slow her down somewhat even if she did keep pushing back against his rod. Courtney ended it by doing ATM and sucking out his seed, the messy oral cut away from for some bizarrely amusing humor handled in an understated way by Spock and crew.

Tori Black and Ryan "Maria Menendez" Keely

Scene Two: Lexi Belle, a lean little blond with a body built for speed over pleasure, was up next with one of her favorite men, James Deen, as the two of them decided to get the show underway with Mike shooting the action since she had to be out of there for another production. The comedy was a lot like some of the "My First Porn" titles from Robby D. in terms of how many problems arose but it was clear that the biggest thing rising this time was James' penis in response to Lexi looking so fuckable in her pastel colored panties. She teased a little but clearly wanted his cock inside of her, the couple kissing a lot before she aggressively blew him on the couch. As focused as she was, Lexi seemed lost in her own little world as she inhaled his penis, licking his balls and tormenting him before he gave her what she really wanted. The vaginal penetration was much to her liking, both of them carrying on like crazy as their chemistry was worn on their sleeves as much as their passion. Lexi provided some active riding and an aural experience those of you into verbal cues should appreciate, the gal getting off at least once before he jerked out the wad of population pudding (at which time he was interrupted in another funny tidbit that you'll have to see for yourself).

Kimberly Kane with John Strong

Scene Three: Ryan Keely, a cute little brunette with a tight body, was up next in a lesbian tryst with sexually aggressive Bobbi Starr, in the bedroom. Bobbi wore a shiny red dress that left little to the imagination and Ryan (formerly known as Maria Menendez) was out of her apparel in no time at all. They kissed and felt each other up, the building heat generated by the ladies sufficient to merit a few replays all by themselves, both gals giving each other a lot of oral loving. There were nods to foot fetish and face sitting but once they were all juicy, the toys came out in abundance, at least one of them from the Evolved Novelties line that have been so well received of late. There was also a degree of playfulness going on here but both of the ladies have done better, even if Ryan appeared to truly get off more than Bobbi.

Gianna Michaels

Scene Four: Kimberly Kane, a lean extreme queen wearing a dark bikini, was up next with muscular John Strong, the pair wanting to work together despite the idiot Spock getting in their way. John was aggressive here and Kimberly brought her A game to the bed, calling him a stream of names as he tossed her to the bed and went down on her pussy. The almost grudge fuck aspects of the scene played out well with the pair, Kimberly's taunting of John driving him ever closer to pounding her like she wanted it. The director mistook him for Erik Everhard and as much as I like John, he is no Everhard, but he still managed to channel the superhero of wild penetration fairly well. John was then sucking her ass and she engulfed his cock like she had a need for seed, the noises understated but showing just how powerful her inhalation techniques were. Not surprisingly, Kimberly and John continued this dynamic during the penetrative portion of the scene, her juices sloshing around so much that even a blind man could have stroked to their effort. Fans of hairy bushes will appreciate her bush here and the way she continued to look into his eyes spoke of some chemistry, the gal rubbing one out successfully before he gave her his wad in her mouth.

Faye Reagan and Tori Black with Dane Cross

Scene Five: Gianna, a favorite performer for her enthusiasm and curvy body, was up next as she consoled the director outside of the house, their planned tryst cut short by a taser wielding Mick Blue, the guy sparking up the guy for the second time with some "lightning". Gianna was initially taken aback but found Mick's devotion to her body irresistible so she went inside to the bed where she fell for his charms. Mick loved her tits and she continued to verbally coax him as he applied his oral techniques, her sweet blowjob followed by a powerful vaginal hammering the two of them provided. Gianna was as active a rider as ever here, the woman as much of a fuck bunny as I've ever seen, both of them taste testing the other as the scene continued. To say they both came in with some passion would not say enough but the energetic performances also showed them connecting more than a few times. Gianna also sported a bush for those that care, the titty fuck leading to a wild hummer that drained his balls dry into her mouth.

Scene Six: Faye Reagan, a sexy redhead with a nice body, and seductive brunette Tori Black, were up last with moper Dane Cross. Spock seemed like a new man except for his completely arbitrary decisions that drove them all crazy, the ladies taking charge when the indecisive Dane professed his ignorance while the trio was in bed. They all kissed and the gals doubled up on blowing him, sharing his pecker with Tori giving the best head of the two. The ladies also engaged in some oral on each other, the gal showing the best moves during the vaginal plowing as well. Faye resorted to some foot fetish licking and Dane came across as out of his league, but the gals sure looked nice even if this scene was pretty much the weakest of the entire movie in most ways. The pop shot went to Tori's crotch, the ladies goofing on the director even though he didn't understand it as such.

Stevie Hart in a bonus scene on disc 2

Summary: Popporn: The Guide to Making Fuck by director Spock Buckton, Brian Bangs, and Mike Quasar for release by Zero Tolerance was a solid first effort by the lead directors, the humor elevating the six sexual scenes up to an amazing Highly Recommended. I had my doubts when I was first assigned the title, figuring it was more about a wild publicity stunt than anything else but the way the crew brought all the humor of the Pop Porn website to combine with the sexual heat of Mike's usual gonzo certainly upped the game substantially, making it a very entertaining fuck flick to be enjoyed on both levels. I even had my primary toy tester over and she couldn't stop laughing at Buckton's goofy demeanor, her usual dismissal of porn falling to the wayside as she found the spoof "way better" than usual. In short, while I still think Popporn: The Guide to Making Fuck is second to their TMSleaze parody, there is no doubt that this is a breath of fresh air compared to most titles tossed my way thanks in large part to the tongue in cheek manner of Spock Buckton's non-sex role between the often heated sex scenes. Good job!