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Anchorwoman: A XXX Parody

Digital Playground

Genre: Feature, Parody, Web-to-DVD

Director: Jakodema

Cast: Eva Lovia, Erik Everhard, London Keyes, Steven St. Croix, Dana DeArmond, Van Wylde, Olivia Austin, Tommy Gunn, Courtney Taylor, Derrick Pierce
Non-sex roles: Lola Foxx, Adriana Chechik, others not listed

Length: 159:16 minutes

Date of Production: 4/20/2015 to 4/22/2015

Extras: There was a photogallery, a 12:10 minute long Behind the Scenes feature, and web access.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Anchorwoman XXX was presented in a crisp anamorphic widescreen offering as shot by director Jakodema for Digital Playground. Sir Richard Manwin III and Billy Visual were credited with working cameras, Shylar Cobi listed in charge of production and Andy Appleton handling Art Direction. There was a lot of texture and variation of lighting, the movie changing the premise from the Hollywood original to make the leads female. The aural qualities by Seth Cardigan were modest but presented using a 2.0 audio track under the AC3 codec, the audio bit rate of 192 Kbps not hurting the ability to hear the vocals, some pretty good music included though it wasn’t credited to anyone. Of concern to me though was that the back cover advertised the movie to be in digital surround 5.1 audio when it was not, even “fake surround” such as the company has used for years over doing it right and recording the aural tracks in surround should be properly listed so points were deducted.

Body of Review: Digital Playground used to rule the feature world in porn all the time but economic realities being what they are, their newest directors like Jakodema are tasked with doing much more with far smaller budgets, the latest being a parody called Anchorwoman XXX. Some years back, another company did a decent job spoofing the Hollywood comedic hit, garnering many nominations though not winning anything of consequence as I recall. That said, Jakodema’s re-envisioned version had women trying to dominate the news station, some slight nods toward the mainstream flick noted though the feature elements were occasionally tortured by truly poor acting and a script that led me to think most of the movie was ad-libbed. That said, no one watches porn for the feature elements, most viewers considering such material as “f-cubed” (fast forward fodder as some call it), the show definitely benefiting from Eva Lovia in the lead as well as Erik Everhard and Steven St. Croix assuming sizable male roles in the six scene outing.

The back cover described the movie like this: “The sexy and career-oriented Angela (Eva Lovia) is done sucking her way to become lead anchorwoman. She has a vision for the Channel 6 News and if upper management can't see it, she's going to spice things up herself. The news needs a feminine touch and with her team of slutty colleagues, they plan to showcase their ability to captivate viewers with their amazing breasts and immaculate legs! The ladies are working overtime and they're headed towards primetime television.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Eva Lovia, the lean hard body hotty featured on the center of the front cover, was up first in the office of producer Erik Everhard, her goal being to convince him to give her a shot as a 1975 news anchor. He was reluctant and needed some old fashioned persuading, Eva slowly undressing as she drove him to distraction. She knelt down once naked to slowly jerk him off, her hand to gland friction getting his boner turgid as needed for her to slob the knob, rewarding his progressive thinking. The hand assisted hummer showed her trying to throat him, Erik switching places with her to gobble her gash as she spread her legs on the desk, her hairy snatch soon subjected to several vaginal positions though she was an active rider in the cowgirl variations, her pussy clenching tight to drain his dragon of sperm before she knelt to finish him off for the facial finish by her own hand.

Scene Two: London Keyes, the curvy brunette Asian in red bikini undies from the front cover, was up next in bed with Steven St. Croix, the gal soon peeling off her panties so he could savor her tasty ass and pussy. She removed her bra and made some silly comments but she liked him mainly for his oral skills, the guy sucking her toes clean as she rubbed herself before more head led to her reciprocating as she blew him, throating him to the base with ease. Her eye contact was solid and she provided a lot of energy, Steven then pounding her neatly trimmed pussy in a variety of positions with some intermittent oral provided by her. She was most active when riding on top of him but threw herself into the tryst all the same, bucking her hips and grinding into his cock as he choked her and smacked her boobs around, pinching her nipples before the penetrative positions milked his balls dry of semen for him to beat off all over her face and upper torso.

Scene Three: Dana DeArmond, serving as a stunt double of sorts for Adriana Chechik (a “technical difficulties” sign appearing on the screen before the switch), was then up next with Van Wylde, Dana notable as one of the cast of the other parody made of the mainstream hit. They ended up on a tan couch kissing, Van commenting on how his mustache was a “flavor saver”, Dana oddly playing the straight character rather than playing up her strengths as the comic or crazy chick as Van devoured her snatch at length. He licked her crotch and reprimanded her for touching his hair, Dana easily handling his very modest cock as she knelt to blow him with some hand assistance. They then vaginally fucked with Dana only active in the cowgirl position, her pussy “tugging him” in doggy as she over did the moaning for the role. In the end, he nutted in her waiting mouth and hands, some amusing comments made to move back to the feature elements.

Scene Four: Olivia Austin, a cute blond with big tits and a nice ass, was up next in the studio with Tommy Gunn, the guy outlining in piggish detail just what he planned to do to her. She knelt down to blow him and pumped with her hand as she inhaled the bulk of his raging boner, her over sized bosoms preventing her from closing her top but discarded for a blowjob and titty fuck before she impaled herself on his pecker with her bald beaver. She slid with ease on his rod and they tried a few more positions, Tommy plastering her chest with “scattered cum showers” to end the tryst.

Scene Five: Courtney Taylor, another blond bombshell though this one with exaggerated DSL’s, was up next with hat wearing snob Derrick Pierce in the bar on the black leather seats, some kissing leading him to diddle her snatch after their coworkers left them. His roaming hands groped her and he soon had her dress off, sucking her tits and pussy before she revived his chubby into a full blown erection to ride. This scene was the weakest for me, the lack of chemistry and way it was shot seemingly forced, Derrick tossing off onto her face.

Scene Six: Eva Lovia, dressed in sleek blue bikini undies, was up next with over the top Steven St. Croix as they made out in the living room. She dropped her top and her thong looked awesome pulled up her delicious ass, Steven massaging her ample cheeks and sucking her breasts before muff diving. Eva spread her legs wide apart to grant him better oral access, the man intensely staring at her as he teased and satisfied her orally, the gal reciprocating with a lot of enthusiasm before riding more aggressively this time, her vaginal positions starting in cowgirl and reverse cowgirl before adding others to push him to a suggested creampie climax (though I don’t believe he nutted at all).

Summary: Anchorwoman XXX by director Jakodema for Digital Playground was fun enough that it merited a good rating of a light Recommended, the single disc parody of the comedy classic most notable for the better sex scenes. In short, Anchorwoman XXX provided company contract cutie Eva Lovia her latest leading role to be proud of, the re-envisioned feature aspects of the movie not as good as the sex, the casting of guys like Steven St. Croix and Erik Everhard as well as ladies like Eva Lovia, London Keyes and Olivia Austin helping score some points so check it out if you have any interest in parodies at all.