This Ain’t Cougar Town XXX
Hustler Video
Directed by Stuart Canterbury
Running Time: 1hr and 39min
Price: 24.99

Starring:

Phoenix Marie (as Laurie)
Dylan Ryder (as Jules)
Tory Lane (as Ellie)
Emma Mae (as Travis’s girlfriend)
Ralph Long (as Andy)
Evan Stone (as Bobby)
Dane Cross (as Travis)
Alec Knight (as Grayson)

Special Features:

Trailers (6 trailers)
Photo Slide Show
Animated Chapter Index
Select a Star
BTS- a short 5 minute feature of interviews with the cast
Hot Sex Talk
Digitally Mastered for DVD
Playable Worldwide

Technical Stats:

Audio: Dolby Digital 2 Channel at 48 kHz and 224 kbps

Video: Mpeg-2 at around 7 Mbps

Overall Thoughts:

After a new anti-piracy ad, and a few commercials for sex chat lines, we get a commercial for the website and then finally to the main menu, I was beginning to worry there for a second. So the reason I am looking forward to watching this parody, is that I am a fan of the show, and I am looking to see what they do with this parody, hopefully they do the show some justice. Well after sitting through this movie, I have to say that this movie failed when it comes to the parody aspect, but after a slow start with the sex scenes, it really picked up with the last three scenes, so it did pretty good at that aspect.  They also did a decent job with the audio and video quality which were about average, with no real issues to complain about. Special features were nothing to brag about, with just a mere 5 minute BTS and trailers being the highlight. So I am going to say that this is going to get a RENT IT rating, it’s worth checking  out for the sex alone, just don’t expect too much if you have ever watched the show.

Scene One: Tory and Ralph (1/5 rating)

It’s a sunny day by the pool, and Dylan and Tory are talking about getting old and then Ralph (love the dedication with the hair cut) shows up and then Dylan leaves, she doesn’t want to see what is about to happen. She leaves and ends up finding Dane and Emma getting hot and heavy, but she interrupts them before they get too far. But we cut back to Tory and Ralph as she is getting all nasty and dirty as she tells him she wants his cock. He slides it in between her tits, and then she shoves it all down her throat. It’s been awhile since I have seen Tory and it’s always nice to see more of her. They move to the chair for some 69 action as he has his face deep in her ass, licking her pussy, while she continues to work over his cock, then grinds her ass on his face. She spins around and has his cock in her pussy for some cowgirl action, as she really shakes and moves on his cock. They switch to some missionary action as he continues to work over her pussy, and leads to some spoon action. I have to say considering it’s been awhile since I have seen Tory, I am little disappointed in this scene. Please tell me she hasn’t lost a little of the Tory I used to spend hours watching her scenes over and over again. Anyway, he pulls out and cums on her pussy as the scene comes to an end.

Scene Two: Dylan vs. herself (1/5 rating)

Later on, Tory meets up with Dylan and she tells her that Phoenix has a boyfriend that she is keeping a secret. So she shows up at work and Phoenix is there and she tries to get some info out of her, but she can’t seem to crack her. So we head back to the house where Dane and Emma are once again trying to get their grove on, but she once again walks in and interrupts them. They leave and then she ends up in her room naked, looking at herself in the mirror, getting a good look at her body. This is a call back to the opening scene of the first episode, except she wasn’t naked and didn’t play with her ass and pussy either, other than that, somewhat the same. She heads to the bed and starts to rub and spread her pussy, while she continues to look at herself in the mirror. We get some up close and personal shots of her pussy as shoves a few fingers in there. But after awhile, the fingers are doing it, so she pulls out a toy and begins to shove it in and out of her pussy. She turns her ass to the camera, and continues to work her pussy with the toy. She ends up on her back, and then we see Tory and Ralph outside her window talking about the bad news.

Scene Three: Phoenix and Evan (3/5 rating)

Phoenix is at work, wearing a very tight and sexy purple dress, when she gets a call from Evan making sure it’s OK to come in. He walks in and she wants to stop talking and get to the sex. She ends up on Dylan’s desk as Evan plays with her tits and pussy. He helps her with her dress and then shoves his fingers in her mouth, before they end up back in her pussy. Although they really aren’t playing the characters to well, I gotta say that the sex is pretty hot, so can’t complain too much. She turns around and bends over on the desk as she shoves his cock all the way in her mouth, and grabs on tight to his balls. She gives him a very wet BJ while he grabs a hold of her dress and pushes her closer and closer. He takes off his pants and she goes back to work on his balls and cock, before she climbs on top and slides his cock in her pussy and goes for a ride. And we get some nice shots of her ass and she hops up and down on his cock, so thanks for that. After some chatting between the two, she has a few fingers in her ass, while she continues to ride him. She ends up bent over the table and he has his tongue in her ass, working it over pretty good, but ends up with his cock back in her pussy, and his finger in her ass. He finally reaches around and grabs on to her boobs while he fucks her, was wondering when that was going to happen. Anyway, his fingers come out of her ass, and get replaced with his cock, as the doggy action continues. She lays on her back and takes some more of his cock in her pussy before he goes back to her ass and back to her pussy, making sure both holes get plenty of attention. She ends up leaning over on the desk and shoves his cock in her mouth again, and then ends up on her back, working his balls and cock some more. But since her tits are close by, he shoves his cock in between them too, and then gets her on her knees as he gives her a cum shot in the mouth, which she follows up with some more gagging on his cock.

Scene Four: Emma and Dane (3/5 rating)

Back at home, Dylan is watching some TV and then Dane and Emma ask her what is wrong, and they convince her to leave. So she goes upstairs and changes into a sexy black dress and heads out to go get a drink. So the kids have the place to themselves, so they waste no time. They head to couch and begin to kiss, as her short comes off and he begins to work over her body. She begins to run his crotch before they open his pants and she continues to rub his cock through his boxers, until finally she grabs a hold of his cock and works it over with her mouth. She works mostly on the tip, and he reaches over and rubs her ass as it sticks up in the air. She slips her short off and then climbs on top and begins to ride him for some cowgirl action. I have to say that she has a pretty nice body, and the tattoos are a plus. So I plan on looking out for more of her in the future. Back to the present, they switch to some missionary and we see that her pussy is pierced as he shoves his cock in her pussy, nice. They switch to some spoon action as he continues to pound away at her pussy until he pulls out and gives her a money shot on her face.

Scene Five: Dylan and Alec (4/5 rating)

We meet Dylan as she is at the bar, talking to bartender and he convinces her to confront her about her secret. So she confronts her and she calls her a cunt and then we fast forward to her and Tory enjoying some wine by the pool, but she thinks wine isn’t going to help her, so she calls Grayson at the bar and she walks and says she is not here for a drink. They end up on the couch, and she strokes his crotch and then he pulls down her top and grabs and licks her very nice tits. She rubs his crotch some more, which is driving both of us crazy, I am assuming. She opens his short and then shoves her hand down his pants and jerks him off some more, as she reaches around and pulls up her dress to unleash her ass to the camera. She finally pulls his cock out and begins to work it over with her mouth and hand, and really does a great job. Mucho props for her oral skills during the close up shot, nice and slow with barely touching his cock. She climbs on his cock and rides him for some reverse cowgirl action. She puts some effort as she bounces on his cock and grinds her hips on it, as he sucks on her tits for a bit. She hops off and he lays beside her on the couch for some spoon action, which quickly leads to some missionary as she gives him a little dirty talk to keep him going, but I am sure watching her boobs move around is helping him out. He pulls out and she takes a money shot on her tits, as she is on her knees. And that is all for now, as the credits start to roll.