Riley Shy is The Runaway Brat:
Riley Shy Is The Runaway Brat seems to promise lots of fun with, say, nasty schoolgirl types getting in over their heads, or giving in over giving head, or something like that. But, for admirers of old-school porn, or geeks with a strict schoolgirl fetish, the come-on is a tad misleading. There is a come-on (five of them in fact for almost two hours of bangin') and in four of five instances the Brats are cute and petite, but no schoolgirls or even very bratty girls are present. No condoms present either. Itty-bitty-titty committee members should sign up for the show.

Riley Shy, the cute skinny redhead with the small titties who toplines the disc gets the lion's share, a full half-hour of fucking. A computer repair guy who lives and works out of his mom's house picks up a hitchhiking Riley in a Porsche Cayenne. Clearly living the rent-free tech-dork life has some advantages. Soon he and Riley are at it. Geek pounds Riley on the office chair, a real Office Max stress test. Riley goes full-bore with a blowjob, complete with loud gagging sounds, though she never loses her cool or her lunch. A round of varying positions that will become familiar over the course of the disc ensues, by which time techie-boy has clearly gone past his moment. Another blowjob is needed to bring him to a dispirited dork-drizzle download.

Micah A black and white intro sets this up as Micah begs a ranch hand for a place to stay on the farm. The video turns to color and soon enough Micah's long black hair is draping over 'Little Joe,' small boobs bobbing in repayment for the old cowpoke's initial tongue-lashing. All these guys seem to have the same M.O. - hit 'em with six minutes of tongue-on-twat and then next ten or more minutes belong to them. So we get the blowjob, some on-chair drilling, on-chair doggy-style, spoon-fucking with the leg in the air and finally Micah getting into the spirit with the old reliable backward-cowboy. But the cowpoke surely liked his poke, as when we cut to him jerking off into Micah's mouth, he sprays a gusher. There's oil in them thar balls!

Katie Lane seems to think catching a few zeees by sleeping in a sauna is cool, but the health club manager is just looking to catch some sleaze from this knobby-nubbed, long faced looker. Pretty much the same pattern of positions is run through for about 15 minutes, before Katie and Mr. Night Manager do an ultra-smooth choreographed move from doggy-style to sticky smile. Points for not needing a cut-away, kids!

Amber Peach has a real-world body, (a little pudgy) medium-length dark hair and the only pair of funbags of any real size in this flick. She spends way too long showering in some dude's bathroom before she's discovered. Luckily there's always a blowjob and a little titty fucking to placate a longhaired dork with (oh no!) lots of acne on his back and ass - ewww. During the shower festivities a painfully obtrusive layer-shift will bring you back to reality. That reality sadly consists of more of the same lapping around the old position-go-round. At least Amber's peaches are big enough to jiggle. Not enough to get shower-boy too excited though, as he can barely squeeze the Pantene out of his pee-pee. Amber still finds enough to blow cum-bubbles with, though.

McKenzie Miles is our last Runaway, a blonde, breastily-challenged Reese Witherspoon kinda-lookin hoochie, maxin' and relaxin' in a supposedly cold park before being picked up by a Latino gent who only wants to spend the next fifteen minutes getting a really good blowjob and knockin' it out in his spare bedroom. These two play it pretty straight, running through about three pussy-pounding positions before the esophagus elixir is administered.

The DVD

Video:
The standard 4:3 fullscreen presentation of this video is clear and sharp throughout, with decent colors, no apparant artifacts, and good black levels, though all of the scenes are very well lit, so black levels shouldn't be a concern.

Sound:Audio is mostly good throughout, only in the Riley Shy sequence do some of the moans, groans, and improvised dialog get faint and inaudible, but not the parts where Shy is gagging on the guy's dork. Micha's sequence mostly dispenses with live audio in favor of some sleepy nu-jazz porno wacka-wacka. It's unclear if this is a good thing or not.

Extras: Spinning the disc as programmed, first we're treated to two ladies of the telephony evening, chatting up some dude, making it look good for a phone sex line, for about a minute. On the Interactive Menu, this extra feature is listed as More Adult Fun. Next is a minute or two of digital graphics advertising all the fun that can be had a pleasurevip.com (videos, etc.) and sexy ringtones etc. (I guess that you can find through pleasurecell,com for your phone.) This is touted as Interactive fun. Those things, plus chapter selections and about 15 minutes of trailers (12 or so features of declining video quality, and featuring lots of A.I. - anal and interracial, for you newbies) are the 'fake' extra features, that is, types of things that should either be standard to a DVD or are nothing special.

But there's plenty more. First, about four minutes of Behind the Scenes, showing a little bit of set-up for each of sequence, plus some of the action from each sequence, but parts with director cues audible. Always interesting to understand the reality behind the shoot, but a little light on content. Also included is a three-minute photo gallery, with three or four stills from each sequence, nothing you haven't seen if you've watched the feature, but making it easier to freeze the frame at 'just the right spot' for whatever purpose you might have. A gimmicky 'pop-shot' feature manifests as an icon that appears at the beginning of each sequence, so you can click forward to the exact moment when the guy spooges on the girl's face. The main extra is a 24-minute interviews section, where director Mark Kismet charms each girl with his British accent, finding out how long they've been in the biz, how much of a slut they are, etc. The standout being crazy Riley Shy's interview, as she spends the bulk of the time eating cum off of her face, unnerving Kismet. Touche!

Final Thoughts:
Riley Shy Is The Runaway Brat is good for those looking to lose their minds and their wang-wine over a quartet of A-cup cuties and one on the cushy side. A few times you can spot the guys and gals glancing at the camera for a cue, but mostly they seem pretty enthusiastic, (especially the title tramp) and only a pair of the pud-masters look like their pussy-pounding missed the man-mucous mark. A recommended rent or possible purchase for small breast enthusiasts. Note the August 23rd 2007 date is the pre-order date for this DVD. Old-school idiots like myself who think porn ended when video began should go back to 1982.