First Impressions:
Woe be the fuck filmmaker - even the talented and time-tested one - who endeavors to revamp a certified cinematic classic for the spunk/cock screen. In this case, director Joe Gallant treads all over one of the greatest films of all time - Martin Scorcese's timeless Taxi Driver. Now, granted, the plots are completely different (Dean James is infatuated with Phoebe Luxe playing a Courtney Love-like lead singer for a dreary dirge band) and the movie does not end in political - or pimp - assassination. Instead, Gallant melds Travis Bickle and his cab driving gig to a lonely stalker story, with Dean writing endless diary journals (that we hear in voice-over) about his infatuation with Phoebe. There are some clever nods to the whole Kurt/Courtney saga (our heroine is a drug addict oddball who is suspected of "offing" her famous hubby for his lucrative recording royalties) and some obvious homages to Scorcese's scenarios (Dean has driver buddies who he shoots the shit with, etc). Still, it's a very fine line one walks when adding suck and fuck to any normal narrative. For the most part, Gallant succeeds.

The Sex Scenes:
One has to start off by saying that the cast of Killing Courtney Luv is definitely not winning a beauty pageant any time soon - not even one where everybody gets a trophy for participation. The local talent used here has some major catching up to do to match the plasticine bimbettes of the California carnal scene. For some, this more "earthy" approach may actually be a bit of a turn on. But 'unsophisticated' can also look cheap and very unappealing.

As for the actual sex, the amateur status of many of these chicks (only Harley has a real resume of raunchiness) really shows up in the scenes. They are no match for men who basically dominate them completely. Still, there is something remarkably engaging about porno happening in a REAL New York City location. It centers the sleaze, dragging it back to its famously 42nd Street roots. Watching couples copulate with famous facades in the background may be worth the price of admission alone. But there is actually some arousal to be found in this film - all fugliness aside. Here is a scene-by-scene breakdown of the action.

Scene 1: Phoebe Luxe
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Toy Action, Fingering, V to M, A to M, Dildo DP, Water Sports, Enema Action, Anal Fire Hydrant
Score: 2 out of 5

Just when he thinks he has seen it all, the Dirge comes across a scene that literally boggles his booty-bruised mind. In this case, it's not Ms. Luxe's loin lunging with a set of oversized dildos that drains the cranium. It's not even the introduction of two of these toys into her obvious welcoming wet spots. And it isn't even the sight of a douche bag, hanging from a chimney (the scene occurs on a NYC rooftop), filling the actresses ass with a load of liquid. Water sports are cool, as long as they are done in a non-dirty/fecal free manner. But after Phoebe bloats her bunghole with excess aqua, the manner in which she "disposes" of it is totally without equal. Yes, that's our star, wiggling her rump over to the balcony, and with one big squeeze, shooting her fresh flowing hinder juice all over lower Manhattan. Better yet, she does it NOT ONCE, BUTT TWICE!!! It has to be seen to be believed. Otherwise, this is typical self-love lameness with Phoebe feeling up herself for what seems like forever. Thankfully, the rectal fountain saves the day.

Scene 2: Harley Rain, Dino Bravo
Acts Performed: Cunnilingus, Salad Tossing, Blow Job, Doggy, Anal Doggy, A to M, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Cowgirl, Anal Fingering, A to M, Guy A to M, Anal Pile Driver, $hot Mouth
Score: 3 out of 5

Harley has been a part of the industry for near 12 years, and every one of those hyper-aging porn months are written all over her haggard, homey body. Her fake tits are so over inflated that they seem painful, and her dimpled derriere hints at a diet detrimental to dumper dynamics. Still, she can fuck up a storm, and when placed beside Mr. Toss My Salad himself, the durable Dino Bravo, there is a lot of palpable passion in the scene. Gallant makes the wise decision of starting the action on some dank back alley stairs (thereby inferring an added sense of seediness and danger) and our couple really calls up the hardcore heat. Once they take their trick into the bland boiler room, however, things calm down a bit. Dino has some dick issues, and the anal action goes on for-EVER! By the time we get to the money moment we wonder if Harley will ever be able to shit - sorry SIT - right again.

Scene 3: Mariah Lynn, Kenny
Acts Performed: Blow Job, Anal Fingering, Guy A to M, A to M, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Spooning, Gaping, Salad Tossing, Tongue Fucking, $hot in Mouth, Male and Female Oral Clean-up
Score: 2.5 out of 5

Kenny is a domineering Mediterranean type - olive skinned and a tad on the bulky side. Mariah is a ginger gal with an oddly barreled shape and a love of getting butt fucked. So you figure this scene would sizzle, right - especially when filmed in the open air arena of a Big Apple rooftop. But something is amiss here, and the Dirge is hard pressed to put his finger on it. Kenny has very little personality (he practically redefines the notion of a hamfisted meat puppet) and Ms. Lynn tries to look like she's enjoying the Eros, but we just don't really sense the couple clicking. This makes for some mediocre XXX. Still, you have to give Ken credit for trying to spice things up. He joins in on the A to M (fingers, that is) and even helps lap up some of the sperm falling from Mariah's cheek. Sure, he spits it right back on her face, but it is an incredibly unique moment in an otherwise average sex outing.

Scene 4: ReVAY, Rod Fontana
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Blow Job, Toy Action, Cowgirl, Pile Driver w/ Butt Plug, A to M, Cunnilingus, Anal Mish, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Spooning, Anal Pile Driver, $hot in Mouth
Score: 2 out of 5

It has to be said and said right up front - ReVAY's rampant piercings are absolutely horrible. They create the kind of instant turn-off that has you thinking so far outside the adult entertainment box that you feel like your watching a weird fetish title. I mean, this is a big, breasty black woman, and yet she has a very non-PC nose accessory that recalls the days of bad Tinsel Town medicine men. Her nipple job looks lopsided and her big-ass ,multi-hued weave keeps jumping around like it has a mind of its own. The only saving grace here is that she hasn't gotten around to garroting her private parts...yet. Rod Fontana, another famous "face" from the Toss My Salad titles is on hand to pork things up a little bit - both from the sex and sow department. This is one puffy pink partner for the charbroiled chocolate of Ms. ReVAY. Sadly, their scene is not very steamy. Must be all that body art bogging down the bonking.

Scene 5: Sandy Cheeks, Kenny
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Masturbation, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Tongue Fucking, Blow Job, Salad Tossing, Mish, Anal Mish, Vaginal Gaping, A to M, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Doggy, Gaping, $hot in Mouth and Face

Score: 2 out of 5

Proving that porn stars can be just as mutt-bone ugly as "regular" people, the strangely asexual Sandy Cheeks shows up to give Kenny another average workout. It is only the sheer number of positions, and ample amount of anal, that almost saves this scene. Once Sandy starts screwing we forget all about her unfortunate bout with the unattractive tree (rumor has it she fell out of it one day, hitting every branch on the way down, before landing on an axe). In the bonus materials we learn that she is a first-timer to the industry and is doing her first scene ever for a major movie. In that regard, she performs impressively. Otherwise, this is perhaps the pornographic low point for the film.

Scene 6: Phoebe Luxe, Dean James
Acts Performed: Foreplay, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Anal Fingering, Salad Tossing, Anal Mish, A to M, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Doggy, $hot on Face

Score: 2.5 out of 5

Here it is, the scene we have been waiting all film to see. The finale, when boy gets girl and fucks the flurking smit out of her. Sadly, the sex just can't live up to the set-up. Maybe it's Dean's lack of definition. He is one whisper thin (though heavily tattooed) fellow. Perhaps it's Phoebe's madwoman of the boudoir balling style. She constantly seems on the verge of overpowering her partner. It could be that the build-up leads directly to dicking, without any of the lovey dovey shtick we expect. Or it might be that both performers are new, and are unfamiliar with the facets for a successful scene. Battling each other for hardcore acting superiority does not establish a rapport or a sense of desire. Instead, it's all position and plowing. No passion...no potency. When compared to Scene 4 and 5, we can see that Phoebe and Dean are lagging in several significant departments. They should be tearing the scene up. Instead, we are glad when the pop shot arrives to end the erotica.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 2.5 out of 5 (Recommended)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
Not bad enough to warrant a mere rental or an outright skipping, yet not novel enough in the nookie department to bump it up to a higher commendation, Killing Courtney Luv is a decent sexual diversion that is recommended. The storyline is interesting, the acting is average, and the cinematic work is borderline outstanding. Though there is an amateur, near gonzo quality to the production, Couples will find it absolutely fine. Too bad Gallant didn't grab some better looking ladies on his way to the NYC locations. Going for untried appeal is fine, but a few of these gals give new definition to the words "unknown amateur". One fears they are destined to stay that way.