I don't ask much when it comes to a storyline for a porn movie. I do, however, ask that it make some sort of sense, which is exactly what Big Blowout totally fails at…and frankly, the sex isn't all that great either.

I picked this one up because Savanna Samson is one of my favorite Vivid Girls, and this title also has Kody and Mary Carey in it, so I found it hard to resist. But when the best thing you can say about a movie is that Lezley Zen delivered the best performance, you know you're in trouble.

The movie, which was directed by Tommy Ganz (this is a public service, so we can all avoid his films in the future), is about a young woman (Savanna) who is entering the porn business and has just filmed her first scene. But – look out! – her husband (Mickey G.)has seen the video, doesn't approve and before we know it, Savanna has vanished! Probably kidnapped…or worse…by Mickey, right? Wrong! Mickey doesn't want her doing porn, but we find out that he's not the one to blame for her disappearance…in fact, we never find out what has happened to Savanna or where she might be!

Steven St. Croix, who is playing the casting agent who has brought Savanna into porn, starts hunting for her, but all he winds up doing is getting beat up by Mickey in a parking lot (in a hilarious scene where you can clearly see both the reflection of the cameraman in the car window and his shadow on the sidewalk!) and filming Mickey making out with Lezley Zen so he'll have some videotape evidence against Mickey should he try to use the fact that his Savanna is a pornstar as leverage in court. But wait a minute, Steve! We still don't know what happened to her or why she's vanished! Oh well, at least she had two sex scenes (a threesome with Dale DaBone and Temptation; and a boy/girl scene with Steven) before she took off!

To make this film even more confusing (David Lynch called and said he couldn't figure out what the hell was going on!), the movie ends with Mickey at home wacking off to the video that Steven had taken of him with Lezley, and a mysterious (face unseen) woman comes in the room to finish Mickey off with a handjob. Is it Savanna? No, because this woman has long, dark hair. Is it Lezley? No, because this woman has very long curly hair…Lezley's is shorter, darker and more straight. So who the hell is it? Oh, who the hell cares at this point…

If there's any redeeming value to this DVD, it's in the bonus material, where buyers will get bonus scenes featuring Savanna and Kody in other Vivid titles…although I suppose it would make much more sense to buy those movies and maybe hope that the bonus scenes on those DVDs are the ones from this movie, since the storyline isn't worth watching, anyway.

One thing that continues to amaze me about the majority of adult features these days is that they always seem to have a good premise…and always seem to fail totally in following up on them. Can't anyone in Pornoland write a story with a beginning, middle and end? Heck, with Big Blowout, I would have settled for any one of the three!