A Couples Guide to Fifty Shades 2

Exquisite/Sex Ed Films/Paradox Pictures

Genre: Educational, BDSM

Director: Jordan Septo

Cast: Maddy O’Reilly, Lee Stone, Bailey Bae, Tommy Pistol, Allie Haze, Karlo Karrera, Dakota Skye, Derrick Pierce

Length: 99:30 minutes

Date of Production: 2014

Extras: The best extra for most people will be the bonus scene between Dani Daniels and Xander Corvus from volume 1 of the series, “A Lover’s Guide To 50 Shades” that lasted 34:14 minutes. Dani looked amazing and the technical values helped enhance her appeal. There was then a recap of the voice over material by Allie Haze compiled together from the scenes lasting 7:37 minutes and called “Instruction”, some trailers, a photogallery, a pop shot recap, and a 26:24 minute Behind the Scenes feature showing uncredited director Jordan Septo in charge but giving most of the cast some screen time.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: A Couples Guide to Fifty Shades 2 was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite. The double disc set was far less an educational flick than a set of four unrelated scenes strung together with a flimsy premise but Jordan’s technical expertise shined once again as his steady hand, even lighting, and fairly decent editing helped keep the flesh tones accurate, the trysts interesting enough to watch, and the modest amount of compression artifacts under control. There really was little to tie this to the popular “50 Shades of Grey” trilogy other than the title but as far as marketing gimmicks are concerned, I’ve seen worse. So as an educational release it sucked but the four scenes were strokable with a modicum of replay value, the trysts looking good (better than they sounded). The stereo audio, on the other hand, blended in the romantic music too heavily and Allie Haze’s voice over narrative was not only too aggressive but it was also distorted when I listened to it, the vocals overall not keeping pace with the visual elements.

Body of Review: Jordan Septo has long been one of my favorite gonzo directors in porn, his work under the various labels of Exquisite often the very best they have had to offer by far. As Jordan has tried his hand at parodies and features I’ve wished he focused on his core strengths but every now and then he surprises me by doing a really decent job on such titles. His latest in for review is called A Couples Guide to Fifty Shades 2 and I’d be lying if I said my old friend hit a home run with it in any meaningful way, the four scenes tied together via a voice over narrative by Allie Haze as though it had anything at all to do with the popular trilogy of books or mainstream Hollywood release coming out next week. In fact, it had nothing to do with those and the BDSM themes were very underplayed in each of the four scenes but I found the cast of ladies such as Dakota Skye, Maddy O’Reilly, Allie Haze, and Bailey Bae to be quite physically appealing set against men such as Derrick Pierce, Lee Stone, Tommy Pistol and Karlo Karrera, the visual elements superior to the sound. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Maddy O’Reilly, an adorable young lady with reddish hair and a juicy ass, was up first with muscular Lee Stone. He briefly tied her hands together while eating food off her body, the man gobbling her gash as she reclined on the couch before she aggressively slobbed the head of his knob while providing some hand to gland friction. His pecker was initially barely a chubby until she worked him into a fully turgid state, Maddy mounting him vaginally for some moderately active riding. They tried different positions until her passive missionary drained his dragon of semen, Lee depositing the fluids on her face for her to savor.

Scene Two: Bailey Bae, a perky cutie with short hair but a pretty face, was then up with Tommy Pistol, her all natural body definitely built for speed over comfort. She wore red and black lingerie and he tied her hands behind her back with his tie, bending her over for a few swats to her ass before he tossed the tie away and started boning her in a standing doggy. They continued on the white couch they were standing in front of for some doggy, Tommy flipping her over to munch her rug and finger her, more passive riding positions and a partial hummer leading to her more active cowgirl positions, Bailey impaling herself before the beauty milked his balls dry of sperm, her wonderful eyes looking sexy as fuck.

Scene Three: Allie Haze, the award winning cutie featured on the front cover, then engaged sexually with Karlo Karrera, his fake piano playing leading to him grabbing Allie who was wearing sheer blue lingerie for some oral and vaginal sex. Allie was largely passive at riding this time, holding her admittedly desirable ass cheek apart to grant him better access, the gal giving some head before they went back to screwing. Allie seemed to enjoy sucking the head of his pecker more than any other task she tried in the scene, a few moments of active riding included though she largely submitted to Karlo’s will in order to get him off. The ending blast of manly fluids came when he pussy pushed him over the edge and he nutted all over her crotch, her eye contact during the scene not bad at all.

Scene Four: Dakota Skye, a tiny blond spitfire who really set the porn industry on fire last year, finished things out with muscular Derrick Pierce, the man putting a leg spreader bar on her before he devoured her pussy and ass, the smile on her face enough to excite him further to slowly pork her as she diddled her cookie. Of all the ladies in the show, Dakota offered something approaching real intensity given the looks on her face and body language, a light coat of glistening sweat building up on them both, her perky ass shaking wildly as he tap her in doggy on the beige couch with more oral and vaginal included once they ditched the spreader bar. She throated him and he doused her crotch with a wealth of seed, looking excessive in fact though she seemed okay when she tasted it.

Summary: A Couples Guide to Fifty Shades 2 by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite looked good and if the whole educational aspect was dropped altogether and the title changed to something not suggesting the four scenes had anything to do with the mainstream fictional works, I’d probably rate it higher than the Rent It I gave it but as it was advertised in a particular manner, it gets rated accordingly. The BDSM themes were underplayed and this was no more a couples fuck flick than any random title shot by the talented director, the whole premise of tying a porno to a mainstream project for the marginal increase in sales a huge stretch to say the least. Granted, Dakota Skye, Allie Haze, Maddy O’Reilly, and Bailey Bae all looked adorable to say the least but the oral and vaginal sex in A Couples Guide to Fifty Shades 2 was not particularly educational nor tied in any way, shape, or form to the books or forthcoming Hollywood movie, the problematic audio tracks weakening the experience for me even if I liked the double disc set enough to tell you to check it out.