This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (Blu-ray)

Hustler Video

Genre: Sitcum Porn Parody

Director: Stuart Canterbury

Cast: Courtney Cummz, Justin Long, Bobbi Starr, Otto Bauer, Angelina Valentine, Dan Masters, Lexi Stone, Dylan Riley, Madison Ivy, Barry Scott
Non-sex roles: Angie, Dirk Savage, Bri Valentine

Length: 110:44 minutes

Date of Production: 2010

Extras: The extras were the cookie cutter standard, as expected with some trailers, a photogallery, spam, and a short Behind the Scenes feature lasting 5:58 minutes. Most of the BTS is just interview material but it helped flesh out a few of the performers, I just wish it had been more complete as a time capsule for the show itself like some of the other sitcum makers have been providing.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (Blu-ray) was presented in a fetching 1.78:1 widescreen color by director Stuart Canterbury for Hustler Video using the VC-1 codec; a standard on Blu-Ray discs; the standard definition version in MPEG-2 with the usual 480p resolution compared to the 1080i resolution of the high definition version, partially made up for by the SD's anamorphic nature). My lack of knowledge of the SD version of the title prevents a direct comparison of the two; the Blu-ray bitrate often hovering around 17.5 Mbps. The composition of the camera angles was all over the place this time, serving neither the thematic elements nor the sexual trysts optimally. There were no obvious compression artifacts, no grain to speak of, and I saw no macro-blocking or other issues that pop up; thanks in no small part to the proper lighting applied here in most cases (the editing by Nextdoor Jimmy was not bad at all too). The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English using a 256 Kbps bitrate at 48 kHz in both versions. The vocals on the scenes were flat and even sounding somewhat like the series at times but rarely getting it "just right" probably due to time constraints.

Body of Review: Stuart Canterbury has been around porn for a very long time, his most recent directorial efforts released by Hustler Video to take advantage of the sitcum parody market that has all but become the de facto standard of the major companies. His latest title is a parody of the Larry David show, This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (Blu-ray) that has been on for the last decade, a series about Larry David as a grumpy old geezer always finding a way to get up to his neck in life's troubles. At the onset, I'll admit that I've heard some pretty harsh things about this parody from sources inside and outside of the industry, my attempts to remain neutral possibly impacted due to the screener being sent out so late. I can't provide you with screen captures either since no SD version was sent with it but suffice it to say that I went into watching it with a relatively blind eye, my toy testing assistant serving as backup to be fair. Well, if you've ever seen an episode of the original show, you are probably going to find this to be one of the weaker sitcum parodies, Barry Scott's makeup so bad that you could clearly see where the fake bald spot was attached to his head. This is a case like in the popular Cosbys or Married With Children parodies where the lead role is the most important one and frankly, even Justin Long outshines the guy whenever the two are on the screen at the same time. The humor was weak, the delivery wooden, and the majority of the cast like fish out of water except on rare occasions. Sexually, the flick fares better thanks in large part to Courtney Cummz, Madison Ivy, and Bobbi Starr but each of them have been in far better vehicles to showcase their talents that their limited exposure here was disappointing. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Courtney Cummz, the hotty featured on the upper middle of the front cover, was up first with Justin "I refuse to fuck white chicks" Long, the gal looking most fuckable in her skimpy pink camisole and black skirt. He let her in the house and she sat down with him on the couch, his turgid pecker jerked off and against her tits as he relaxed to allow her to do all the work. She then slobbed his knob actively, using both hands to take care of the fellow though not going all the way down on him (he does have a large dick so this is understandable). In any case, her hand assisted hummer led to him reciprocating orally, eating her pussy for a few moments before she climbed onto his rod and actively ride him. There was some taste testing and she took the eventual belly pop (by his hand) but the lack of chemistry really weakened the scene for me.

Scene Two: Bobbi Starr, the popular anal queen, was up next in a medical office, her purple smock falling to the wayside before she sucked off Otto Bauer. Bobbi's oral skills are always welcome in a fuck flick, Otto throat fucking her as she tended his immediate needs. This led to a handful of vaginal positions where she showed a solid level of active riding, just again lacking the kind of enthusiasm or passion I prefer to see for my own hand to gland pleasuring. She was best when on top of his lap but looked really hot bent over, going over the top vocally until he launched his nut of genetic juice to her mug.

Scene Three: Angelina Valentine, playing a curvy brunette dominatrix, was up next on the living room couch with wimpy loser Dan Masters. She flogged him and spanked his ass, his enthusiasm lacking for her professional skills. Angelina tried to pick things up by blowing his small cock, his response minimal as far as I was concerned as it showed even when she sat on his face, her sweet ass positioned just right for him to savor her wares properly. The vaginal positions came afterward, his inability to keep up with her watering down the sexual heat, the load of population pudding rubbed out to her tits after the mediocre penetrative work.

Scene Four: Lexi Stone and Dylan Riley were up next in a lipstick lesbian scene, the gals getting mechanically frisky on the purple couch. They caressed and kissed before pawing each other, settling into a 69 after already providing one another with some fair rug munching. Of interest to me was how they masturbated side by side using what appeared to be toys from Evolved Novelties, neither getting off but neither seemingly unhappy with the gay for pay work too.

Scene Five: Madison Ivy, the blond bombshell featured on the upper right side of the front cover (next to Courtney), was up last taking care of Barry Scott, his wig looking particularly goofy as they engaged each other in bed. She blew him and jerked him off, his hands holding her head down before it was his turn to eat her out. For what it was worth, he was better at eating her than he was at porking her pussy, his penis always coming across as half erect (like Dan's was earlier in the flick) but she was particularly fetching in the doggy position where he unleashed his modest seed upon her ass crack to end the movie.

Summary: This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (Blu-ray) by director Stuart Canterbury for Hustler Video failed thematically more than for the sexual trysts alone, the ladies giving largely decent performances that were clearly edited to pander to the story and acting portions so few people will appreciate. Hustler has offered substantially better sitcums, even their own in-house sitcums, of late so if you're a fan of the ladies in the cast, consider this a Rent It. There were too many issues with what went wrong in This Ain't Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX (Blu-ray) for me to go into in depth but suffice it to say that if you are a fan of the original series, particularly the first few seasons, you will likely find the dialogue to merit inclusion in your fast forward fodder collection, this being a time when I truly wished Hustler had kept the "sex only" option their subsidiary (VCA Pictures) offered for a time.