Web Chicks Gone Crazy

Phoenix Releasing/X-Play

Genre: Vignette

Director: Will Ryder

Cast: Mariah, Randy Bowers, Charlie, Mia Smiles, Tiffany Mason, Jonathan Simms, Chris Cannon, Cricket, Julian St. Jox, Sky Taylor, Mark Davis, Belladonna

Length: 81.5 minutes

Date of Production: 11/12/2000, 1/10/2005 (box), 12/24/2004 (credits)

Extra's: The best extra for most fans would be the inclusion of a hot tub sex scene between Nikki Fairchild and Seth Dickens. While not the best scene I've come across of late, it was pretty good for a bonus scene. There were 3.5 minutes of bloopers too I'd need more to truly appreciate if you catch my drift. Lastly, there was a photogallery that some of you will enjoy a lot more than I did.

Condoms: Some

Audio/Video Quality: Web Chicks Gone Crazy was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Will Ryder for X-Play. The colors were often somewhat off and the clarity of the shots not as good as various webcasts I've seen when I had a dial up modem. The editing was poor in most cases and the entire project looked thrown together with little thought or care. There was a lot of grain and video noise and a lot of compression artifacts to deal with this time, giving it little visual appeal in my book. The audio was presented in stereo English but the droning music gave me a headache and the dynamic range appeared as though it were channeled through a webcast too. Will made much better use of audio in his Britney Rears movie.

Body of Review: Those of you who have been on the internet for a number of years also are probably familiar with the way so many porn sites have been leaders in making money while so many other dot com companies have gone belly up. One of the biggest fads to hit the web since fast internet connections hit the consumer market has been the webcast where gals strip and have sex for those who pay the price to watch. The latest movie trying to cash in on this phenomenon (albeit, very late in the game) is Web Chicks Gone Crazy. The movie is a series of vignettes that were barely held together by the narration of a gal that appeared to be tossed in after the fact. The low quality of the scenes also mimicked the nature of webcast sex so here's a quick look at what the DVD had to offer:

Scene One: Fantasy Cam: Mariah, a gal with a mixed heritage and angular features, was up first as she blew Randy Bowers in her dive of an apartment. I'll give her credit for knowing how to slob a knob but as pleasant as it appeared, it wasn't all that energetic. He looked a bit like a reject from someone in community theatre that stumbled into an opportunity to snack on a gals' crack, rimming her to warm her up for some boning action. With some 69 action, dirty talk and a bit of vaginal screwing with a pop shot to her ass, it was an okay scene for the less demanding porn enthusiast.

Scene Two: Roof Cam: Charlie, Mia Smiles, and Tiffany Mason were all up next after a strip montage where the gals pranced around aimlessly. It started off on the roof but they took it inside fairly soon after warming up. The room was another dive but the gals seemed to enjoy eating one another out and using a strap on dildo for a few minutes. I hated the music throughout the show and this scene's audio barrage was no different. Otherwise, it was a playful time by the three cuties.

Scene Three: Parking West Cam/Charlie Cam: Charlie, a cutie with pretty eyes and nice curves, and her real life partner Jonathan Simms, were up next in a scenario that built upon a late rent concept. He ate her out, she reciprocated and the two screwed in a couple of positions. He did do some anal before popping off on her ass but it wasn't much and while they had some chemistry together, they have been a lot more energetic in previous scenes elsewhere.

Scene Four: Office Cam 2: Mia Smiles, a cute Asian, also had a scene with her real life partner, Chris Cannon, on a couch. They were energetic and had a lot of chemistry together (no surprise there) but the sex was oral and vaginal only. I haven't seen these two go at it this passionately in a long time although I wish the scene was longer.

Scene Five: Cricket Cam: Cricket, a curvy gal with an exotic face, took on studly Julian St. Jox and Chris Cannon on a couch next. The sex was mechanical and cold to me but her fans will likely disagree as she managed to grunt out enough monosyllables to pretend she was into the action on occasion. This scene had the most pronounced use of condoms on the DVD too. It ended with a couple of pop shots but the energy was that of a low rent hooker trying to move onto the next nut.

Scene Six: Sky Cam: Sky Taylor, the brown haired gal with large implants, was up next as she took on Englishman Mark Davis on a bed. The two went down on each other with some energy although not as much as a few scenes in the movie displayed, and eventually boned in a sweaty manner. I haven't seen him in a while and this scene looked like it was recorded a while back but the two hit it off and did the usual sex tricks (oral and straight only). The edits and camera angles weren't very strong either but it wasn't bad to watch once.

Scene Seven: Party Cam: Belladonna, in a scene that looked like it was shot before she went big time, was up next with Sky Taylor, in a shitty looking room that looked like crap. The scene was barely long enough to qualify as a scene (no wonder they didn't credit Bella on the DVD cover) and it was strictly light weight lesbian antics. I liked the gals as much as anyone but the couple of minutes used here would've been best suited for a bonus scene more than anything else.

Summary: Web Chicks Gone Crazy was pretty lame in most cases and didn't offer a lot of fuck for the buck as the DVD cover would lead a consumer to believe. The technical values were less than average and the droning musical choices hurt my ears as much as anything. While a few of the scenes looked pretty entertaining, I couldn't rate this as anything higher than a Skip It due to the way in which the elements of the movie were seemingly randomly placed together in hopes that fans might find something to appreciate. Try it if you must but don't blame me when you want your money back.