GENRE: Anal Fetish Compilation
DIRECTOR: Thomas Zupko
STARS: Lauren Phoenix, Katrina Kraven, Mika Tan, Sara Jay, Xana Starr, Pandora Dreams, Tony T., Brett Rockman, Tyler Wood, Brian Surewood
DATES OF PRODUCTION: 2004
LENGTH: 180 mins with bonus material

There is something sensationally hypnotic about a well-oiled ass. A perfectly round and plump derriere, smothered in lotion and lit up like a Broadway marquee, creates a slick, glowing orb of opportunities, the white hot rays of the available luminescence caressing the flesh like millions of mouth watering kisses. Just the sight of such a radiant rear end sends shafts of sensation like shock waves all over one's passion proclivity meter, making even the most devoted breast or leg man beg for a taste of tushy. Let's face it; a big wet ass just screams sex. It yells lick me and stick me. It cries out for rubbing and routing. On par with a pair of DD tits all lathered up and shower soapy, a sweat or lubricant glossed gluteus is the perfect penis perker upper, without a doubt. Denizens of dumper dynamics and those with a fetish for the fleshy bits of the bum understand this all too well. But for those of us who see something like J-Lo and think "ho hum", not "hubba-hubba", Elegant Angel Production's Big Wet Asses trumps all other pooper-based product. And believe it or not, it will have non-hinder devotees jones for trunk junk A.S.A.P. Offering nothing but the choicest cheek meat and the men who love to worship and wormhole it, Big Wet Asses #4 keeps the anal aspects back and center. Throughout the five scenes offered in this basic compilation configuration, the beatification of the bum is in full sensual swing. Even without the hyperactive hardcore that occurs after all the funky onion ogling has ended, this is still a randy, risqué rear ender.

The DVD:
This is the Dirge's first exposure to a Big Wet Asses disc and the old-fashioned breast man has to say something strange and kind of shocking: this is a completely mesmerizing erotic experience. The manner in which director Thomas Zupko frames and films these dominant drenched dirt holes is absolutely fascinating. Oh sure, this is also a pretty good collection of front and back door porking, but the opening moments, where the actresses are doing their kiester cabaret is just spellbinding. There are various elements at play here, first and foremost, the near perfect posteriors of the cast. Everyone, from the rather slim Mika Tan to the overly zaftig Pandora Dreams has big back bubble worth busting. Then add an abnormally large amount of skin glistening oil and the titillation factors triples. With his camera in tight and the bountiful booties filling the entire screen, you can easily envision the fetish crowd caressing their cathode ray tube. Like a lewd lava lamp or a surreal skin-based sculpture, there is some manner of art in seeing moist mountables sparkling in space.

Looking at each individual scene, we begin to get a better idea of what's offered in these testaments to the tookis. Let's start with:

Scene 1: Lauren Phoenix, Katrina Kraven, Tony T.
Each scene in Big Wet Asses #4 starts with the female performers, crack to the camera, cooing "Don't you want to fuck my ass", or some similar variation on that theme. In this case, we get a double dose of cum-hither harping as both Lauren and Katrina beg for butt sex. We are then treated to an extended sequence of crazed cabaret in which both ladies finger their rancid rosebuds and gyrate for the camcorder. Edited to match the rump-shaking soundtrack, we have lots of posing and primping, the gals both highlighting their hinder in style. Suddenly, our heavy ham hocks are crack to crack, with Lauren and Katrina rubbing their ass cheeks together in a completely sensual and passionate manner. This is where the eye-popping aspect of this disc really comes into play. Just watching those plump round roasters slowly sliding all over each other will produce more La-Z-Boy pop shots than dozens of direct drilling close-ups.

It's at this point where we see Tony T. sitting on a ladder. Decked out in a raincoat, rubber gloves and a goofy hat, he mans a Super-Soaker and continuously lubes up the undulating ladies. Unable to control his cock any longer, Tony takes action and begins by tossing some salad (with occasional spit sharing). He fingers the girls' asses with his protective handwear and even gives the ladies a little latex A to M to share. Next, the free-for-all occurs as Tony gets dueling head from the dumper dames, then face fucks each of them to add to the aggressive sex. There is lots of saliva sharing and deep throating. Lauren even takes the opportunity to place her greasy grinder in Tony's face. He responds with sufficient tongue teasing. The taint gets some attention and balls are bandied about before the anal antics kick into high hardcore gear. Soon, we have seen switch off anal doggy – with a strange set of A to M aspects, wherein one lass gets it in the bunghole, while the other samples the shaft once it's removed. There is some anal cowgirl with complimentary ass slapping and a session of sideways stabbing in which both babes form a symmetrical set of orifices and Tony taps each one, alternately. Finally finished, Mr. T lobs his log loogie all over the waiting wenches, who share a snowball before sucking the stud dry.

Like most of Big Wet Asses #4, the XXX action here is rabid, rampant and a little ridiculous. Occasionally hard to follow – only because the positions are piling on at a furious rate – we still sense a real passion for porking. Tony has a few too many fugly fuck face gestures (his open mouth groan is like a visit to the dentist's office) but it doesn't really distract from the dick and dumper deliciousness. This is a great scene, highly erotic and energetic. Some advice to the makers of this marital aid: more three-way couplings, if you please. As the only triple offering here, it's perhaps the best scene in the set. Score: 9.5 out of 10

Scene 2: Mika Tan, Brett Rockman
It's not necessary to go into that much detail about Mika's opening moments on screen. The editing and compositions follow Scene 1 almost shot-for-shot. About the only amazing concept in this cabaret is how Brett bastes his babe with love lube. Instead of using a super soaker (like Tony T.), Mr. Rockman breaks out the motorized power painter and evenly coats his future concubine in high gloss grease. Mika takes the super spray gunning to heart and it's not long before she's thanking Brett with a little helpful head. Brett next uses a dildo-headed water pistol on Ms. Tan and he even squirts a little carnal Crisco inside her can. There is tit fucking, anal doggy and face fucking between the couple, every positional change being celebrated by A to M (or in one case, Dildo to A to M). The pair then pulls off some vaginal cowgirl before doing the double rodeo roundup of anal range riding (in both regular and reverse methods). Mika is so small compared to Brett that the "spin" they use to move from one copulation configuration to another is reminiscent of a moth stuck on the head of a jackhammer. A little anal spooning finishes off the scene as Brett blows ball butter all over Ms. Tan's tiny face and mouth. In another excellent scene, Mr. Rockman completely dominates his bed buddy and the results are randy and resplendent. This couple really sells the sexual dynamic and the pumping is powerful and passionate. Score: 8.5 out of 10.

Scene 3: Sarah Jay, Unknown Male Co-Star
Same opening style, same carnal cabaret cut to the beat. Mr. X follows Brett's example and uses the power sprayer to lard up his lass. He also speaks one of the funniest lines in the entire DVD. We cut to an odd, half close-up on his face, and the dude delivers the following bon mot in a completely emotionless monotone: "I Need Ass". The sex begins with salad tossing, followed by some fingering. Sarah delivers the prick puffing and our Anonymous Anal Operator fucks her face for good measure. After a little boob bonking, the couple collapse into a "heady" session of 69. Suddenly, it's an encyclopedic rundown of possible positions. The duo performs doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and side-by-side sharking. In between the pumping, they even share a few kisses and engage in some tit play. Ready to make money, our unknown actor plasters his shaft smoothee all over Sarah's face. She constantly moves the cock away from her mouth and lips to make sure not one drop of the spunk comes in contact with her maw. This is, perhaps, one of the lesser scenes in the collection. Sarah has a strange set of tattoos along her back that makes her torso look like the cover of Led Zeppelin 4. And her anti-semen sentiment is highly contrary to pro-porn pleasantries. Still, even without any real anal action, this is some heated hardcore. Too bad about Ms. Jay's apparent attitude. Score: 5 out of 10

Scene 4: Xana Starr, Tyler Wood
Over some very hard pumping tub thumping techno music, Xana does her strip and tease thing. She is wearing a black vinyl outfit and it, along with her ass, get doused with sex salve as the electric sprayer makes another appearance. After everything is nice and slippery, Tyler tosses Xana salad and even offers a few gloved fingers into the stink hole. Ms. Starr samples the rubber routers in typical A to M fashion. The dildo-headed water pistol makes another push for the pucker as Woody works the rectum with glee. In retort, Zana lunches on log before moving the member to the valley of Hooterville for some tit fucking. Using her big, real breasts as stimulators, Tyler's tool gets a good workout. Next, the dick to derriere drama is played out as Tyler puts the following fornication formulas into play all over Xana's pooper. There is anal doggy with pile driving, reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, spooning and spoon-doggy. Ms. Starr insists on mandatory A to M every time cock leaves colon. Tyler counters by literally launching his load EVERYWHERE – Xana's face, mouth, eyes, etc. In another example of body art interfering with fornication, Xana has a tattoo the size of Montana stretching across her back. Every time we get an overhead shot of the humping, that needle and ink entity overwhelms the scene. Still, this couple can really shark up a storm, and the resulting butt bongo is first rate. Score: 7 out of 10

Scene 5: Pandora Dreams, Brian Surewood
Brian's got a beard that looks like a pretzel stick jutting from his jaw, and the little braided hairlette looks hilarious peeking out of various places within Pandora's person. But before we witness such whisker shifting, we have to have the usual crack-tacular cabaret. Like a miscreant musical montage, Pandora shows off her shitter in supreme style. Brian just can't control himself and he jumps on his "Dreams" date to toss her salad. He also fingers her fun fissures with his rubber-gloved thumb. He moves his mouth down to Pandy's feet and does a little shoe and toe worship. Then he eats Ms. D's cunt before placing his prick in between her stiletto heal and the arch of her foot. This interesting bit of podiatric porking continues until Pandora can't fathom not licking some meat stick. She blows Brian with lots of ball action, and then dirty pillows his prawn with relish. The lovers then explode into doggy, scissors and reverse cowgirl, all in the pussy parameter - with additional V to M (actually, it is A LOT of V to M). The first anal antic engaged in comes from the cow plowing position. We get several minutes of hypnotic hinder humping as dick drives into dumper. Next, the bovine is bonked in the reverse anal manner, followed up with some slick, sweaty scissors. Mr. Surewood builds up a nice segment of spunk, and he frees his seed all over Pandora's face and chest. She laps it up lovingly. Brian and Pandora cap off this disc perfectly. Though she's not overtly attractive, Ms. Dreams' body is all about the fucking. She is curvaceous in an exceptionally carnal manner, and with Brian's professional peter pumping along for the ribald ride, this is one hot scene. Score: 8 out of 10

Perhaps more than any other fetish-oriented title, Big West Asses #4 really understands the visual pleasures of porn. Some filmmakers forget that we fantasize with our eyes as well as our imaginations, and offer up hardcore that is either crude or clipped. Big Wet Asses lets us get into the joy of the booty and offers up images that instill a real desire for dunkey. XXX is all about the flesh and we get ample examples of lube licked chicks in this gratuitous near-greatness. Director Thomas Zupko does occasionally go overboard with his music video musings, letting his editing scheme border on ADD aggravating a couple of times. But it's the butt that sells this title and if you like tush – Heck, even if you just have a minor jones for jelly jiggle – this title will trick your dick into a near constant state of stiffness. All of the fucking is fresh and fiery and the ingenious use of power tools is always welcome among the testosterone-tempted set. Between the greased globes proffering their wicked invitations, to the aggressive, but not overly angry, penis pushing, Big Wet Asses #4 is a wonderful sampling of sit-upon at its most enticing. You'll be celebrating the glories of the gluteus maximus in all its well-oiled individuality after a single, shaft-straightening sitting with this DVD.

The Video:
Shot with technology that gives video a cinematic "film" look, Big Wet Asses #4 has an amazing visual appearance. The color is hyper-vibrant without resorting to over saturation and the 1.33:1 image is sharp and detailed. Never once does all the shimmering shitter cause the picture to flare or bleed, and the contrasts are concise and balanced perfectly. This is a great looking DVD, from both the talent and transfer aspects.

The Audio:
Big Wet Asses #4 utilizes all manner of hopped up hip-trip rhythms to sell its sex, and each and every sonic blast is captured in Dolby Digital Stereo surety. The bass never overpowers the treble and the suck/fuck sounds always shine through. As excellent as this title looks, the digital dynamics of the soundtrack make the aural aspects equally evocative.

The Extras:
Elegant Angel really "piles" on the bonus material, offering galleries, trailers, an interview with Pandora and a "Behind" The Scenes featurette. There's even a DVD-only bonus scene between Katie Gold and Tony T (which will be addressed in a minute). The Q&A with the cover girl is interesting, but Pandora doesn't have very much to say. She tends to respond in staged soundbites, and looks lost when having to extemporize. The backstage showcase is also light on insight. Mostly, it's the performers preparing to ply their trade. There is something called "Bonus Ass Smothering" which appears to be the cabaret sequences from the openings of each scene, unedited and allowed to play out in full. Since they feature more fetching, fluid fudge factories, they're a welcome inclusion. The gallery is rather redundant, and the trailers all tout titles similar to Big Wet Asses #4, so you're not really seeing anything new or novel there. The best extra is, of course, the additional scene. As with all the action on this DVD, it's a scorcher.

Bonus Scene: Katie Gold, Tony T.
Larded up and ready for lovin', Katie gives us some pre-plooking cabaret before Tony walks in with the paint gun. She gapes and grabs at herself in overtly provocative places until Mr. T completely moistens her southern hemispheres. He also takes the faux-phallic squirt gun and gives Ms. Gold a royal ass reaming. She reciprocates with a nice, naughty blowjob and Tony is totally pleased. The first position plotted is straight cowgirl, and our T baller proves that Europe's JPX is not the only male porn star who can fuck like a hyperactive jackrabbit on speed. Katie has to resort to V to M to keep the friction in her fetlocks to a minimum. Next, the opposite attribute is explored, except this time dick drives into dirt box. Katie celebrates the butt sexing with some nice A to M. She even spins around and takes on the steer in the standard manner. After a touch of sideways anal doggy, Tony propels his pud plaster all over Katie's face and mouth. She enjoys the protein make over. Why this scene wasn't part of the package is a mystery. It is just as good as the other sequences, and features a far more fetching lady than, say, Xana Starr. Still, it's nice to be given this bonus, as it adds to the overall value of the package. Score: 7.5 out of 10.

Final Thoughts:
The title says it all. The asses are not the only thing big and wet in regards to this DVD. If you have any hardcore hankerings in your languid libido, this movie will definitely get your groin growing – or if you are so inclined, juicing – in record time. Just one look at Lauren Phoenix and Katrina Kraven doing the dirt bump, buttocks brimming with shiny sensual salve, should amplify your appreciate of all things rectal. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, Big Wet Asses #4 earns a nicely rounded 8 out of 10 and is highly recommended. And even though it features acts that many mainstreamers only dream about, lovers will enjoy the enticing adult entertainment provided by this disc. Therefore, a Cohabitation Certificate is awarded. Other fetish fellows need to take notice – all those big tit and bare feet smut peddlers. There is a right way to make a movie featuring only your specific subset of sex. Something like Big Wet Asses #4 illustrates that single-minded subject showcases don't need to be boring or blasé. Handled in the proper fashion, they can be fascinating, scintillating and entrancing. Elegant Angel has produced a wonderful example of anal-ccentric entertainment. This is one scene compilation guaranteed to leave a greasy, slippery impression on your inner interests.