Back Door MILFS

VCA Pictures

Genre: Gonzo, MILF

Director: Rob Spallone

Cast: Davia Ardell, Sergio, Max, Justin Magnum, Celestia, Johnny Cobalt, Kaiya Lynn, Brad Hardy, Shannon Kelly, Christian

Length: 99 minutes

Date of Production: 8/25/2006

Extra's: The best extra was the inclusion of a full copy of Jim Holliday's Anal Angels. The movie was a three hour compilation of scenes from Jim's movies, originally produced on 11/2002 with some limited extras to ice the cake. In large part, the bonus disc was better then the one featured in most ways, with the sole exception that most of the scenes in the bonus movie used condoms. There was also a slideshow, some trailers, and spam for those who care.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Back Door MILFS was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Rob Spallone for VCA Pictures. The lighting was generally well handled, limiting the grain and video noise but never showing much creativity in the process. The camera angles did not favor the women all the time, seeming to keep various flaws in plain view too often and otherwise using too many close ups. The fleshtones were accurate but the scenes were so cheaply tossed together by the looks of it that I wondered if this wasn't assembled out of discarded footage left lying around from other movies. There were few compression artifacts though and while I think the term "Ultra Bit Encoding" made it sound really great, there wasn't any evidence to make it look like anything special went on with the mastering of the movie. The audio was presented in a standard 2.0 Dolby Digital English with a slightly hollow tone, no separation, and cheap music indicative of an ultra low budget release.

Body of Review: Rob Spallone has long been one of the funniest guys in porn, known best by me as a producer for VCA Pictures. I loved his non-sex role in the Soporno Series and his BTS comments in some of the Jim Holliday movies I've been reviewing show his talents are often wasted as he pushes his wiseguy attitude to hilarious lengths. As a director, I am less familiar with his body of work so I picked up Back Door MILFS on the premise that he might do a great job with it, forgetting that a limited budget never sat well with his style of production. The idea of the title, from a consumer's point of view, made me think the movie should have a lot of anal sex with older women in it. There was anal sex but the women did not look that old, some didn't even have the kind of curvy soccer mom type of body one associates with the term MILF, and the sex was usually weaker then some of the teen based titles I rail about. If you're still interested, here's a look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used at all in the main feature:

Scene One: Davia Ardell, a busty blonde with large implants, was up first in a doctor's office scenario as a patient of Sergio. There was no tease or build up as he took off her outfit and apologized for his unprofessional behavior, moving right into the sex in a manner that I really didn't care for. The opportunities for exploring the scenario cast aside for expedience, the sexual antics were pretty basic with him licking her titties, going down on her, and then providing his knob to slob before they screwed. She didn't look much like a MILF to me and that was the clincher as far as I was concerned; the sex was decent throughout the movie but lacked the age based dynamic consumers will expect more often then not. She had fun orally pleasing his cock with her mouth and chest but she really seemed to like boning more; taking him in her pussy and ass before the moderate facial.

Scene Two: Max, an Asian gal barely wearing a minimalist construction outfit as she drank her booze in an alley with her hard hat on, was approached by Justin Magnum, who was looking for a strip club. This was another case where the premise of a MILF did not come into play, with her looking younger then him and the disposable setting never used to full effect. Granted, the sex wasn't bad as she blew him for a moment before they screwed like happy little bunnies, but it was starting to look like a bunch of unused footage tossed together and labeled MILF for sales alone. There was some anal and ATM with a toy but not his cock as he hammered away in her pussy. The ending facial was nothing special and to be frank about it, the scene lacked any chemistry and spark to make it worth watching a second time.

Scene Three: Celestia, the blonde on the front cover, was curvy enough for MILF-dom but struck me as far too youthful for the title, taking on shy Johnny Cobalt as he attempted to learn more about sex in order to please his real girlfriend in this bordello scenario. He ate her and played with her a little but the use of the setting was again marginalized and the knock out nature of the action about on par with the last scene. She blew him capably enough and he poked her pussy and ass mechanically as a result of his wood but it was a boring bone as far as I was concerned, even ending in a similar fashion with the mundane facial (at least she jerked him off into her mouth though).

Scene Four: Kaiya Lynn, a lean Asian gal playing a military recruiter, really tried to make her quota as she met with older looking Brad Hardy in what appeared to be a storage room to sign him up. The sex was cookie cutter formula like the previous scenes but without the minor added heat that Celestia provided, as each followed along with the oral and screwing like mechanical performers. She did actively ride him but the expression on her face said it all and this was purely for profit, even doing anal about as well as vaginal. I never sensed anything between them and it was like a pick up at a bar at closing time; strictly to pop a quick nut, with the facial finishing it relatively quickly.

Scene Five: Shannon Kelly, a redhead that looked old enough for the status of MILF but poor at playing a female prison guard to dominating Christian as he took her riding crop away from her and soon had her in his lap getting spanked. She blew him as ordered and he sampled her pussy orally before they screwed. The good news is that she put some effort into the riding and came across as being at least somewhat into the action as she impaled herself soundly on his cock. It wasn't a great fuck but it was a lot better then I had come to expect by this point in the movie as each seemed to show some true passion for doing each other in the shadowy jail cell. The anal was almost as good and I was glad to see the movie end on a high note before she rubbed out his load to her mouth and the credits rolled.

Summary: Back Door MILFS by director Rob Spallone for VCA Pictures was a case where the extra compilation included was actually substantially better then the main feature itself (as has been the case several times with VCA's wonderful free movie promotion). While the bonus disc added a lot to the fuck for the buck value of the package though, the movie was truly only worth a Rent It for me thanks to how limited the MILF theme was (practically nonexistent), the limitations of most of the performers, and the technical values in need of polishing up. In short, Back Door MILFS did do some anal, either with a toy or cock depending on the scene, but the age angle was tossed aside like an encumbrance much like the scenarios that were so loosely established in the movie. This being the case, I'd strongly advise renting it unless you get a great deal for the DVD package.