Anyone who knows the Dirge knows that he likes tits. He's a breast man from way back. Has always loved these delicious dirty pillows and makes no bones about celebrating their amiable ampleness. He's does not champion the plasticine version of such sex sacks. To him, the thought of fondling a pair of silicone bags is comparable to feeling up an over inflated inner tube. So when a title boasts something as personally sellable as "big" and "natural" knockers, you know this critic is up for a boner bedazzling boob bash. So it's quite a shock when Christoph Clark's long running series (we are up to 16 already) was less than impressive. Indeed, underwhelming would be the appropriate term. This is definitely not Boob Bangers. In fact, it has more in common with other Continental carnality from this company's foreign division than your typical Triple D delights.

The Sex Scenes:

When it comes to onscreen sex, the European mindset appears to be geared more toward jackrabbit jumpiness than cool casual cockknocking. Several scenes here feature more positions and parameters than many film franchises contain overall, and while this may seem like more bang for the buck, the truth is a little more troubling. Part of the reason porn works, aside from the obvious thrill of seeing actual fornication on camera, is the dynamic between the performers. If they appear bored and restless, you will more than likely react the same way. In the case of such fuck and suck free-for-alling, this chemical component is all the more important. Without some kind of connection between the cast, all we have is wall to wall wantonness. Now, some XXX fans may not care about the passion part of porn, but when you sit through dozens of titles a year, it's this kind of element that separates the good from the groan--inducing.

Scene 1:Kristi Love, Robert Rosenberg, Nick Lang

Acts Performed:Director/Actress Banter, Tit Play, Stripping, Dildo Action, Dildo Fucking, Foreplay, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Mish, V to M, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Spooning, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Gaping, Anal Mish, Anal Pile Driver, $hot on Tits

Score:2.5 out of 5

Here come the caveats. Yep, just like every other European auteur who believes that he has a handle on what makes a sex film hot and erotic, Mr. Clark loves to talk to his talent. Not only talk, but freely converse for minutes on end. Indeed, he yaks in Ms. Love's ear for nearly eight minutes before cutting to the chase. And when he's not working his yap, he's breathing like an asthmatic Michael Myers with adenoids. It's almost creepy the way he pants and moans – it's like listening to a pervert's private podcast. Anyway, once the actual XXX action begins, things take on a more silent approach. It's the performers, not the man behind the lens, that add the amorous soundtrack. Overall, the hardcore is fairly hot, if a little too eager to jump right into the rump. Still, the anal pummeling is very exciting, giving this tit-oriented title a nice downunder dumper beginning.

Scene 2:Johason Rosses, Greg Centauro

Acts Performed: Director/Actress Banter, Tit Play, Stripping, Lactating, Milk Squirting, Window Drenching, Cabaret, Kissing, Cock "Creaming", Blowjob, Cunnilingus, Salad Tossing, Mish, Cowgirl, Implied V to M, Deep Throating, Ball Action, Ass Fingering, Anal Cowgirl, Gaping, Anal Doggy, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Mish, Pissing, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, $hot in Mouth, Oral Cleanup.

Score:2 out of 5

First off, the Dirge gets very little enjoyment out of seeing a woman express milk from her breasts. It's not appetizing, tends to bring all the XXX elements down to some freakish, infantile level, and distracts from the real purpose of porn – i.e. watching people screw. Sadly, Ms. Rosses commits the cardinal sin of topping off her unappealing utter act by taking a nice long leak on camera. Not a timid little piss, mind you, but a directly into the camera, bladder emptying extravaganza. She even stops and starts back up again THREE TIMES!!! If you can get past the nonstop sequences of baby formula flowing out of a squeezed human dairy delivery unit, you will probably enjoy the rest of the action here. As for yours truly, he was considering calling his mother to thank her for making him a bottle baby. Yeesh!

Scene 3:Mischel Channson, Mick Blue, Zenza Raggi

Acts Performed: Director/Actress Banter, Tit Play, Stripping, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Stocking Fucking, Blowjobs, Tit Fucking, Mish, Face Fucking, Cunnilingus, Anal Mish, A to M, Anal Doggy, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, Anal Scissors, Dildo Play, $hot on Tits, Oral Cleanup.

Score:2 out of 5

It starts out sexy enough. Mick and Zenza are so warm for Mischel's form that they immediately tear holes in her inviting fishnet stockings and slowly stick their cocks in the crack. Before you know it, we've got indirect DP in the lingerie mode. Unfortunately, that's about as inventive as the scene gets. Chistoph is back again, wheezing away like an emphysema patient on Prosac, and the standard dick in open orifice dynamic (Ms. Channson is never without a cock in her craw) makes for some rather routine ramming. In light of the other sequences in this set, this has to be the least exciting scene in Big Natural Tits 16.

Scene 4:Pariz Lorenz, David Perry, Steve Holmes, Choky Ice

Acts Performed:Tit Sucking, Fingering, Kissing, Cunnilingus, Blowjobs, Anal Doggy, A to M, Male Salad Tossing, Tit Fucking, Cowgirl, Alternating Head, Alan Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Tit Slapping, DP in the Reverse Cowgirl Mode, Double Dick Ass Fucking, Anal Pile Driver, Gaping, DP with Dildo in Mish Mode, DP in Cowgirl Mode, Double Dick Vaginal Fucking, $hot in Mouth, Swallows

Score:3 out of 5

By the time this scene is over, the Dirge would be surprised if Ms. Lorenz could walk, let alone sit, for the next couple of days. She takes a Timex like licking and sticking and still keeps on ticking. It is clear that each man has an agenda for our gal Pariz – even if they have to ram two dicks into her dumper or douche hole to achieve it. In addition, the novelty of seeing two wieners in one womb grows old rather quickly, especially when our determined meat puppets do very little with the act aside from the occasional duress-laden thrust. Frankly, the true DP is much more interesting, especially since our leading lady seems to love it. Along with the last installment of smut on this DVD, this is clearly the very best that Clark and his cast have to offer.

Scene 5:Genia, Greg Centauro, Omar Galante

Acts Performed:Cabaret, Dildo Play, Nipple Play, Blowjobs, Salad Tossing, Face Sitting, Gaping, Spitting, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Doggy, Scissors, Mish, Anal Mish, Anal Toy Action, Ball Gag Fu, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Cowgirl, DP in the Cowgirl Mode, $hot to Mouth, Oral Cleanup.

Score:3 out of 5

There is a strange shift that occurs about halfway through this scene, a moment where the communal threesome becomes an almost abusive male-dominated bondage bit. For the first part of the action, Genia gives as good as she gets. But then the ball gag comes out, and suddenly she seems scared about what's going on. Either she's a good actress, and sells the discomfort very well, or this is one adult star who doesn't like having her mouth purposefully blocked. Even worse, the men forget to remove the device as they are preparing to cum, meaning that the mood is instantly broken when its clear the director wants the money moment in the female's face. Still, the sex does sizzle, our able bodied Miss more than willing to work the toy trapping involved.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating:2.5 out of 5 ( Recommended)

Cohabitation Certification:Granted

It seems like such a shame – a title about tits getting less than a Highly Recommended rating. But, sadly, the Dirge has seen much better mammary oriented action, and the added elements of mommy milk and woman whiz didn't do much for the overall effectiveness of the sex. As a result, a relatively calm Recommended is in order. Couples have nothing to complain about – even with all the multiple men on one gal grinding, the action is easily enjoyed and accepted. Therefore, a Cohabitation Certification is awarded. Body part fetish features are usually concerned with the headlining element only. It's par for the international course that Christoph Clark and the rest of his overseas entertainers would expand beyond the bosom to focus on other, more penetratable, possibilities.