Everybody Loves Lucy (SD & Blu-ray)

Hustler Video

Genre: Sitcum, Parody

Director: Jerome Tanner

Writer: Roger Krypton

Cast: Otto Bauer, Ricki White, Audrey Hollander, John Strong, Jay Lassiter, Dylan Ryder, Kylee Reese, Lee Stone, Chennin Blanc

Length: 117:10 minutes

Date of Production: 2009

Extras: The first disc on the SD set provided the B&W version of the movie and two sex scenes; one from Stripper School Orgy that lasted 48:39 minutes and one from Teen Cream lasting 23:10 minutes (both described below). My personal belief is that top titles should not waste space with unrelated or barely related extras (Audrey in the first scene and Kylee in the second scene made for tenuous connections), something even a decent company like Hustler should have figured out by now. The second disc was where the proverbial action was at in terms of related extras, starting off with some phone sex lines but moving into a Blooper Reel lasting 4:48 minutes (it was cute). Then came a slide show, six trailers, and a very appealing 54:12 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by D. Pachard (the widow of the late, great Henri). Kylee diddled herself, Audrey compared herself to Lucille Ball, Chennin Blanc extolled her past experience watching the show, there were various interviews and scene set ups. It wasn't the most thrilling BTS but it did provide some decent background (and the longer I watched it, the more nudity appeared). Perhaps most interesting would be a full version of the movie in color, the entire show for those that care.

The Disc 2 extras

(the Blu-ray tightened things up for a single disc)

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Everybody Loves Lucy (SD & Blu-ray) was presented in a fetching 1.78:1 widescreen black & white/color (different versions for each were provided on the double disc sets) by director Jerome Tanner for Hustler Video using the AVC codec; a standard on Blu-Ray discs; the standard definition version in MPEG-2 with the usual 480i resolution compared to the 1080i resolution of the high definition version, partially made up for by the SD's anamorphic nature). My knowledge of the SD version of the title allows me to compare the two; it lacked the better resolution and purity of fleshtones this version had, the bitrate often hovering around 14.3 Mbps area compared to less than a third that in the SD version which seemed to hover around the 4.4 Mbps mark, both varying considerably throughout the show. The use of video bothers some folks but it suited the nature of the show far more than film would have and the contrasts were all enhanced by the high definition approach. There were no obvious compression artifacts, no grain to speak of, and I saw no macro-blocking or other issues that pop up; thanks in no small part to the proper lighting applied here in most cases. It should be noted that the black & white version of the movie seemed to provide more of the feel of the original show, especially in the high definition version, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't find the color version more strokable. The summation of the visuals is that they made the show look better than ever, my sole complaint being that the composition of the camera angles and editing, while good, did not seem to be the best way to enhance the looks of some of the ladies. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English using a 224 Kbps bitrate at 48 kHz in both versions. The vocals on the scenes were flat and even in most cases, the voice-overs sounding somewhat warmer in tone and always easier to hear, and the minimal music seemed out of place compared to the included laugh track. In terms of Blu-ray upgrades then, the visuals got the largest boost by a wide margin with the aural capabilities once again cleaned up but only slightly, the primary version of the movie in B&W actually looking better to me personally.

Ricki White

Audrey Hollander

Body of Review: Jerome Tanner has been making movies for years, incorporating a sense of comic timing in more than a few of them that puts many of his peers to shame. That's one of the reasons why I think he was selected to direct the wildly popular Who's Nailin' Paylin last year, helping get Hustler Video on the fast track for their resulting wave of porn parodies and sitcums. His latest release is a bit different though, a parody called Everybody Loves Lucy, taking one of the first big television hits, the "I Love Lucy" show from the early 1950's, and adding in the sexually explicit material needed to pornify the show. With so many of the second and third tier sitcums providing watered down sex with budgets just big enough to cause critics like me to wince, it seems the company also decided to upgrade the action a few notches by casting Audrey Hollander, a well known extreme queen, as Lucy and her real life partner Otto Bauer, also known for his hardcore antics, as Ricky; both seemingly curious choices at first glance. Once I started watching the movie though, Audrey seemed the perfect pick for the role and Otto, despite his Cuban accent sounding like it came straight from Italy, again showed his acting chops, the supporting roles by Chennin Blanc as Ethel and Frank Bukkwyd as Fred, never really getting much of a chance to shine here. If nothing else though, I found the sex to be the hardest of any porn parody to date, Audrey doing DP's and DPP's like no other gal has been able, and the show definitely made in response to criticisms of watered down sex pulling down such sitcums. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Dylan Ryder and Audrey Hollander

Kylee Reese with Lee Stone

Scene One: Otto Bauer, looking several years younger in B&W, was up first as Ricky Ricardo; the man taking English lessons from curvy babe Ricki White. The minimalist classroom setting could have been better but at least an attempt was made to provide something other than a generic couch, Otto's accent punctuating his characterization of the role well enough to elicit a smirk, if not a full fledged smile from me. Ricki's skin tight satin pants enhanced her sweet ass and her cleavage was barely restricted by her open top, Otto taking her up on her offer to touch her. She wanted to smoke his pipe with the kind of need for seed that works in any kind of a porn setting, dropping to her knees to slob his knob aggressively, Otto reciprocating on her juicy snatch before drilling it balls deep. In this case, Ricki riding "Ricky" was a lot of fun and despite a lack of variety in their positions; it was a decent opener to start off with, his wealth of genetic juice landing on her mouth.

Chennin Blanc and Audrey Hollander

Lucy, Ethel, and Fred

Scene Two: Audrey Hollander, the foxy redheaded extreme queen featured on the front cover, was up next as she took on John Strong and Jay Lassiter, the men dressed as alien abductors in front of an often used porn set (the bank vault/metal door from the BWA series). In keeping with tradition, the over the top concept of the scene was a flight of fancy for a show based mostly in the 1950's but Audrey seemed quite at home working the two cocks in her mouth, pussy, and ass (including two at a time in her pussy and ass). The sexual action was therefore always active and while it might not compare to her hardest work to date, it was definitely an attempt to show raincoaters that the sitcum producers are listening to your demands. They throat fucked her and her bounced on cock, the facial expressions Audrey displayed looking more than a little like the mugging Lucille Ball would engage in way back in the original show. The scene finished up with the men rubbing out wads of population pudding to her face, Audrey satisfied with her work.

Audrey Hollander in B&W

Scene Three: Audrey Hollander, next sitting at a table in a café, was attracted to sexy brunette Dylan Ryder, our heroine upgraded by the aliens to want sex all the time. Dylan pawed Audrey through their clothing. The ladies kissing before the period apparel came off. This was a lipstick lesbian scene including some anachronistic sex toys, the gals getting it on orally as they ate each other's pussy (Dylan also licking ass). The toys use was not dominant though and the scene seemed too short, almost as if more was shot but edited for the final version.

Kylee Reese in B&W

Scene Four: Kylee Reese, a lean and hot looking blond, was up next as a horny showgirl (complete in regalia). She needed some pecker and since Ricky was busy preparing for the show, she pulled muscular Lee Stone into her dressing room. They went at each other like teenagers on prom night, her outfit pushed aside to give him access to her sweet clam. Her all natural body looked tiny next to his, especially when he whipped out his huge dick, the cutie focusing her oral efforts on the top few inches while her hand held the rest at bay. That led to him pounding her pussy very hard, Kylee pushing back when she was in positions to do so. She worked him best when on top of his lap, impaling herself soundly as he continued thrusting away like crazy, her headdress remaining on her head for effect. By the time it mysteriously was lost to an edit, Lee was ready to rub one out on her crotch, their personal chemistry minimal despite the decent levels of energy.

Ricky, Ethel, and Lucy at the club

Scene Five: Chennin Blanc, looking more like Vivian Vance's Ethel than I think she wanted, was up next with equally dressed up Audrey Hollander, Otto Bauer finally revealing the reason why he never invited them to the club he entertained at. This resulted in the trio becoming the main act, the gals dropping down to double team his cock orally, each gal adding something to the oral experience. Otto loved having his balls sucked and rod inhaled at the same time (who wouldn't?), the ladies teasing him a little as they continued their oral assault. Otto provided some oral too, resulting in his taking turns screwing the ladies as they assisted each other with his pecker. Audrey did anal here while Chennin stuck with vaginal, Audrey even getting into the musical spirit of things with a couple of maracas shoved into her ass (no, not the large end, though she could have probably done that too). The scene closed out when Otto jerked off to their crotches (which were close together), the audience cheering as Frank cast his disapproval at the whole thing.

The audience at the club

Bonus Scene: Stripper School Orgy: Audrey Hollander, Nadia Hilton, Otto Bauer, Jenaveve Jolie, Kelly Kline, Lacie Hart, Sandra Romain, Scotty Lyons, Lee Stone, James Deen, Jenner: With the lesson over it's time for the girls to put what they learned into practice. The girls walk in a separate room to find a horny guy waiting for each of them. Just as Jenaveve instructed them, the girls start with a sexy lap dance. Next, the girls all give their partners the blowjob of a lifetime. I really liked how Jenaveve walked amongst the girls and even stopped to help out from time to time. The girls then get pummeled in a bunch of different positions - even some anal. The scene ends with each of the girls taking a monster cumshot. Even though it was a silly premise for a scene I found myself buying into it. Very enjoyable action from start to finish. (review by Bobbie McGee)

Bonus Scene: Teen Cream: Kylee Reese looks so much like other blonde porn stars, that she's automatically hard to identify. Then, there's the fact that she offers nothing new to the mix. She kind of inhabits this space where she could almost be a porn bit player. But, her pussy stretches so nice when stuffed. It's just that you don't really get enough of that on the first scene. You are left on the verge of seeing more and more and more, then nothing. It's a joke and one that isn't funny. (review by Guy Incognito)

Summary: Everybody Loves Lucy by director Jerome Tanner for Hustler Video showed some promise in terms of offering fans hardcore sex but the editing always seemed a bit rushed and reconciling the nastier sex presented in a sitcum feature just didn't happen. The one-liners and double entendres were nicely written and much of the project seemed to show some care was put into the movie; it just wasn't the best such effort to date in either version. Still, the sex was heated, strokable, and offered some solid replay while the plotted portions were amusing in most cases, the double disc set in SD and single Blu-ray disc release both earning a healthy Recommended as a result. As a critic and reviewer, I appreciated all the little touches that went into the movie, a little more time and resources spent on polishing it up would have easily helped upgrade this one to the next level. In short, Everybody Loves Lucy was a sexy chapter in the ongoing expansion of Hustler Video into the sitcum market, better than their attempts at science fiction and horror, if weaker (on the whole) than titles like This Ain't Happy Days XXX. I look forward to seeing the company expand the field even more though, their efforts helping lead the way for other companies to try their hands in the growing niche too.