Every time an adult film like Loaded comes down the pike, I hold out a little hope. Most plot-driven porn films have, throughout the history of the genre, been laughable enterprises in which dramatic scenes are merely absurd bridges from sex scene to sex scene. Porn performers are not, to put it gently, masters of the acting craft. Sure, they have a particular gift and are quite excellent at what they do. Thank the gods for them. But I've always found it humorous when a porn director and his cast of performers reach above themselves, as if for commercial success or artistic integrity.

The porn industry is still trying to reach artistic or more legitimate heights, if Loaded is any indication. And the results, if not quite as ridiculous as in the past, still typically manage to provoke winces and unintended laughter. I watch a film like Loaded, and although it's trying—damn, how it's trying—it all seems like so much glossy posturing and fervent attempts at stylistic originality…and then there's the sex scene.

Part of me believes that it will never be possible to create a film that brings together an original dramatic storyline and the porn industry's obligatory five or six sex scenes. It's just not gonna happen in the current adult-film environment. For films like Loaded to really do something new and original, there's going to have to be a sea change in the way these films are produced. For now, we'll have to make do with movies that awkwardly toss rigidly structured sex scenes against derivative dramatic and action material.

Loaded is a Fast and the Furious knockoff that seems really proud of its dramatic and action elements—so much so that they overshadow the stuff that we're really here for: the sex. Watching Loaded can be frustrating, particularly if you're not the type who enjoys long expository scenes and porn-industry attempts at humor or shouted drama.

In the audio commentary on this disc, the director, Nic Andrews, is quite proud of his action scenes, and I must admit that for a porn film, Loaded's action scenes are way above average. But I would argue that not many people are gonna care about action scenes in a porn film, no matter how great they are. Perhaps you're coming from a different perspective, however, and will really get a kick out of a porn production reaching for action-film status.

For the purposes of this review, however, get your remote control ready, and I'll walk you through the sex scenes…

Scene 1

A hetero encounter in the back of a van, this scene follows a race and really just seems stuck in. The female star of the film, Jesse Jane, gets it on with a streetracer. She gives some head and receives some head, and then we go through a couple positions. It's pretty standard stuff. Grade: B

Scene 2

Much, much time passes between the first and second sex scenes. Even in the commentary, the director admits that a long time has passed—over 20 minutes. It's another hetero scene, this time between the principal bad guy and a fetching blonde. She performs a splendid blowjob, and then we go straight to a great reverse cowgirl and a rather acrobatic doggy fuck. Then, a cowgirl that's equally impressive. Grade: B+

Scene 3

Here's another Jesse Jane scene, this time a flashback with Lee Stone in a bed. This is a relatively tender scene, and it goes through the usual motions. Jesse gives Lee a great blow, and they go right to a terrific cowgirl and some creative doggy. This scene has a nice feel to it, even though it takes place on a grungy bed. Grade: B

Scene 4

Asia Carrera enjoys a scene atop an office desk with a cop. They trade oral favors, and she's got a clit ring that makes his ministrations interesting. They go through the usual motions, nothing too unusual or spectacular, but it's a pretty good scene. Grade: B-

That's the final sex scene in the film, and there's still 15 minutes left of film. Many of you might be interested in plot-heavy porn. There's a rich heritage of such films. If you're in that camp, you'll love this film. If you prefer porn films that focus on sex, look elsewhere.

VIDEO/AUDIO PRESENTATION

The DVD holds a nonanamorphic-widescreen transfer of a 1.85:1 presentation. It's a shame this film isn't enhanced for widescreen TVs, because it looks very nice—good detail and rich colors. Even the case—"16:9 widescreen format"—almost leads you to believe that it's an anamorphic presentation. The Dolby Digital 5.1 track is pretty dynamic, full and rich, especially with the music.

EXTRAS

Principal among the extras is an entertaining but somewhat highfalutin Audio Commentary by director Nic Andrews and star Jesse Jane. As always, I love hearing the female talent say things like, "There I go, sucking another cock," or "I'm horny," or "I love that position, it really hits my G-spot." Jesse doesn't disappoint in that regard. Andrews laughs a lot, maybe a little too much. He also is overly proud of his action scenes, so much so that he repeatedly encourages compliments from Jesse. Many times, Jesse admits to being horny, and I almost expected the two of them to have sex while recording the commentary. Come to think of it, that would be pretty cool. Picture-in-picture oral sex while recording a commentary? It'll happen.

A 17-minute Behind the Scenes featurette has a silly tone, full of camera tricks and forced humor. The focus of this piece, like the movie, is the action scenes and how they were achieved. We don't even get a glimpse of sex until halfway through. This featurette was a little too smirky for my liking, but I really enjoyed the segment that shows Lee and Jesse fucking even while cameras are turned off. Oh, and the pussy-fart incident.

There's also a Bonus Sex Scene between the Barrett Blade and Jesse, and you're left thinking that it should have been left in the main film, in place of some of the dramatic scenes. It's actually a nice, high-energy scene that takes place in a garage.

The Bloopers Reel focuses on the drama as well and is not terribly funny.