AN X-RATED MOBSTER FLICK!

Ah, porn actors attempting to act. Is there anything more amusing? I love just sitting down and laughing at them, watching the inane ways these types of films segue their ridiculous plots into inevitable hardcore sex scenes. Blue Angel is a clichéd mobster flick at heart, and it's also a porn movie. Unfortunately, the melding of these two genres doesn't occur smoothly, mostly because it introduces a general feeling of violence and anger into the proceedings.

SCENE 1

Some tough guys are threatening another dude, and finally one of the tough guys, named Tony (Steven St. Croix), starts having sex with the girlfriend (Monique Dimone) of the dude who's being held at gunpoint. This rather ugly scene features cunnilingus, slapping, glowering looks, cocksucking, reverse-cowgirl, doggy-style, and doggy and missionary anal-intruding—all on a couch and while the boyfriend looks on helplessly. Grade: C

A Mobster kingpin (Evan Stone) and a girl (Hannah Harper) are lounging naked near a pool overlooking LA, while another girl named Samantha (Asia Carrera) enters data on a laptop nearby. The naked couple are soon rubbing each other as mob dialog flies about stupidly. Then, the sex starts, and I was quite taken with the girl's beauty. Unfortunately, the guy spits repeatedly and savagely into her vagina—appropriate, I guess, for his character, but it's not a sight I enjoy. The cunnilingus, cocksucking, reverse-cowgirl, and missionary under the hot sun in fun to watch, and you gotta admire a woman's hardbody that stays luscious even under such harsh lighting. Still, this guy's attitude is a total turnoff. Grade: C-

Well, it turns out, this mobster kingpin has a hit out on Tony. So Tony dies of a gunshot to the head, and now the film starts to get interesting. Tony finds himself on a lawn somewhere, wondering where he is. There's an old man typing at a desk in the middle of the lawn, and he seems to be a St. Peter type. But Tony's not in heaven, he's on "probation." He has to prove his worthiness by helping others in need.

SCENE 3

Before long, Tony saves a European brunette (Nikita Denise), and she starts blowing him in front of three other guys in a living room as thanks. But Tony's "not into crowds," so she gets it on with two of the other guys. I'm not really into this kind of threesome, especially the kind that contains a double-penetration, as this one does. This scene has all the variations and positions that you would expect, along with slapping and grunting and a double load-blow. Grade: C-

Next, Tony has to save a showering woman (Aurora Snow) from slipping on a bar of soap. After he does, the woman and her French maid (Kate Frost) have rip-roaring lesbian sex in the huge room-sized shower. Now this is a fabulous scene, full of wet gropings and cunny-lappings, and slathered pussy fondlings. There are several glorious shots of standing cunnilingus while the water from the shower cascades over the licker's wide-open cunt. I watched this one twice. It's that good. A+

The plot begins to get hilariously complicated at this point, so just ignore it and focus on the sex.

SCENE 5

This is a threesome between two girls (Monica Mayhem and Kimi Lixx) and a guy (Herschel Savage)—the second-best kind of threesome. Weirdly, though, this guy's penis looks like a diseased section of oak. The camera spends waaaaay to much time focused on it. These girls are incredibly good-looking, though, all-nude and writhing. I would love to have seen a lesbian scene between them. Once that weird dick is hidden in a condom, some very nice two-girl/one-dude sex follows. This scene intercuts with Scene 6. Grade: B

Tony and Samantha have some jungle sex. It's a fun scene, with Asia's usual playfulness, particularly as she's receiving his tongue. Plus, Asia gives great head. This is a pretty standard scene. Grade: B-

The full-frame image is nicely detailed, with vivid colors. The audio is clear and accurate. A nice presentation all around.

The extras are located on Disk 2. First up is Star Bios, and I liked how I could click on a performer's name and watch a brief or not-so-brief interview about getting into the business.

Next is Bloopers, 3 minutes of the usual assortment of goofs and blunders, involving both acting and sex. There's one great line: "I can't eat pussy when there's a moth in it."

The Behind the Scenes featurette is 26 minutes long, and does a good job of showing the machinations of making a porn film. Attention is paid to all of the film's major sex scenes, including that wonderful shower scene.

You also get two Director's Cut Scenes, which are seemingly longer versions of scenes from the film. They expand on the poolside scene and the double-penetration scene.

There's a 19-minute Director's Interview with Bud Lee. He wants to be funny but is rarely so.

Finally, you get a Photo Gallery and Movie Trailers.