Genre: All-girl compilation

Director:

Cast: (see individual scene descriptions)

Length: 4 hours

Production Date: February 2007

Extras: The main menu has a chapter index with motion thumbnails. The extras menu consists of the following sub-menus:

DVD-ROM materials -- As with other Wicked Pictures disks, I get no pointing-finger icon when I mouse over the following headings on my computer (though the functionality works fine to get me to and from this menu):

-Wicked company profile

-All of the Wicked Awards-winners and nominations

-direct links to the Wicked Web site

-Wicked's desktop backgrounds

I tried accessing those features using both Windows Media Player and WinDVD.

Wicked DVD Catalog - click a year and you're taken to pictures and titles of Wicked movies

more adult fun - ads for phone sex and text chat businesses

Further -- and again, as with other Wicked disks -- I see no "Pop Shot Button," though this mysterious feature is listed on the back of the DVD case as a "special feature." The other features listed do work: chapters, motion menus, and auto-start.

Audio/Video: Except as noted in the scene descriptions, there were no issues with audio or video which would detract from enjoying this disk.

Body of Review: Saturday Night Beaver? Shouldn't a parody title have a connection to entertainment from, say, the last few years, or that is popular or otherwise timely? There must surely be many viewers who have no idea this title refers to a three-decade-old movie. What next... A Hard Knight's Day? Invasion of the Body Snatch? Titsie? Raging Tool? G*A*S*H? Sleeping With The Enema?

Failing this, it might at least be a title chosen to be relevant to the content of the disk. Strike two.

As for the content, I should recuse myself here and now; I may not be the best reviewer for an all-girl compilation. I've long been puzzled over why so many guys seem to love this theme. But I went in valiantly and with an open mind.

Now on to the scenes...

Scene 1: Jassie, Justine Joli

Two girls who need only J's for initials are making out on a couch as a third girl (Mika Tan) photographs them, and an uncomfortable-looking guy in a white shirt and tie sits next to her. There is pleasant, but slightly loud, background music, featuring sitar. He asks why they're there, balks at her assertion that they're lovers, says he's only known her a few days and has a girlfriend. She points out that he doesn't love the other girl anymore, nor she him, kisses him passionately and turns her attention back to the couch. No need to understand... the dialogue is pretty meaningless to the scene.

There's plenty of foot licking between the girls, for those who like that. And though I don't, I must say I'm surprised with my excitement regarding the girl-girl action. Maybe it's their natural beauty, and/or their apparently-sincere moans. Maybe it's my mood. Or -- good heavens, am I changing? At any rate, after several minutes you tend to forget about the observing couple, who've not been seen. Just as well.

The image is hazy, but seems to be intentional, for ambience. Aided by the music, the lighting and set decoration make a rather exotic-looking scene, which is pleasant with the exception of the graffiti-looking wall behind the couch. It looks like something that could be (and perhaps has been) used in an alley scene, as well.

Scene 2: Devinn Lane, Serenity

Curvy and semi-nude Serenity, who still reminds me of actress Lisa Kudrow, masturbates and is masturbated by curvy and semi-nude Devinn Lane, while New Age/rock music plays. Their positions change several times, and there is some pussy licking. Devinn's moans are a little fake-sounding at times, but it's all easy to watch and both women are attractive. I find the mutual dildo masturbation very exciting, and the best part. They face each other, their crotches just a foot or two apart, and thrust good-sized jelly dildos (two different colors) into themselves.

The sets are pleasantly decorated and the main sounds we hear are music and, beneath that, moans.

Scene 3: Kitty, Nyomi Zen

Two young Asian girls dressed in schoolgirl-esque attire, but sexier (micro-miniskirts and cropped white button-down shirts) are having a smoke on a secluded outdoor stairway in a beautiful and lush setting -- like no school I ever attended. It's obviously one girl's first time with a cigarette. The dialogue is in an Asian language and subtitled in English. Music is playing throughout the scene, but doesn't detract from it.

After some smalltalk about hair and smoking, the experienced smoker begins to remove the other's shirt, under the pretense that it needs pressing and she'll have it done (where, and how she doesn't say). But next thing you know, she's squatting at the "innocent" one's feet, telling her to turn around, and then to "spread 'em"... an interesting way, indeed, to remove a shirt! She asks, but gets no answer... "Do you tease the boys like you tease me?" She kisses her, tells her to relax (though there's little sign she's not relaxed), finally does remove her shirt, then slaps her ass and says, "let's play."

After a fade to white, the next shot shows the innocent girl on all fours, her naked ass and pussy just inches from the other's face, as the "mature" girl is now, inexplicably, speaking English, and subtitles are now in the other language. "You bad girl," she says as she rubs the pussy, and a close-up reveals this naive thing has a pussy ring. Then right away it's back to speaking the Asian language, and now subtitles are abandoned altogether as the one girl slaps, rubs and spits on the other's pussy and ass.

"Inexperienced girl" is well cast, and genuinely looks the part in some of her expressions. And with her flat chest, she looks quite young, as well. Both girls are cute -- neither beautiful. Both seem genuine in their moans and expressions, as they lick each other, and finger themselves and each other. Experienced girl pulls the other to her tits and has her suck them, and then has her kneel and lick and spit on her pussy as she stands over her.

None of the sex stands out as being really hot, but none of it is boring, either. It's enough to get you off, especially if you like Asians.

Scene 4: Serenity, Shayla La Veaux

These two blondes are standing in a dark desert or field, lit only locally for the action. They're kissing and feeling each other as soft, lightly Southern-fried rock is playing. No other sound is audible or needed, and the music is well chosen, so it actually adds to the scene, for a change. Serenity removes Shayla's skirt and kneels down to feed on her pussy, with a close-up that is welcome and not overdone. Then Shayla returns the favor, as Serenity stands over her, raising one combat-boot-clad leg and making a natural but beautiful facial expression... and later sitting, then lying on the ground.

I don't know what it is about Serenity. I generally prefer brunettes, and don't like fake boobs (though hers are comparatively pretty). But she turns me on in everything I've seen of her. Perhaps it's the combination of natural cuteness and beauty--even sexiness--in her face.) I like also that she's grinding on Shayla's face, rather than receiving a passive licking.

We've still heard not a sound from the action; it just wasn't mixed into the soundtrack (in fact was probably never recorded). After a while on the ground, the action and the music start to get too repetitive. But just before it becomes tedious, the scene ends, with the two kissing.

Scene 5: Devon Michaels, Stormy Daniels

These two are wearing lingerie, sort of wrestling in a faux-fight in a rather spartan, steam-filled room on some kind of table or raised platform. Flames along the back wall and a mind-numbing disco-rock beat provide the visual and auditory background. (I don't, for a minute, suspect any clever association between the type of music chosen and the title of this disc. And I'll take the Bee Gees, anyday.) The "anger" then turns into sex. The fake boobs with the wrinkles are disturbing, as is the fact that it's impossible to tell why they were "fighting." The upside is, I don't care. I'm not attracted to stripper-heavy makeup or fake moans, either, which start the second one girl is getting her pussy licked -- instant orgasm, I suppose. Annoying, and not the least bit sexy -- unless you love fake moans and fake tits to an incessant disco beat.

Scene 6: Jeanna Fine, Jenna Jameson, Lana Sands

This is another austere set, perhaps a monarch's royal sex chambers. Three girls adorned only in beads, shells, flowers and feathers are on a mattress of some kind, sexually enjoying each other's company while a rather androgynous character, who is neither credited nor familiar, smokes a cigar and watches with interest. After several minutes of pussy licking and (largely) fake moans, he (as the deep voice reveals) yells, "Bravo" and the scene ends.

Scene 7: Laine, Kirsten Price

Two girls -- one naked, one in bra and panties for a while -- are making out in a normal looking house, on a large bed covered with a white sheet or blanket. Light jazz trumpet music plays, is a bit too loud, and adds nothing to the scene. But it does serve to block out some moaning which sounds exaggerated... after all, they're barely doing anything to each other. The edges of the picture are in soft focus, and the room is brightly lit with natural light. The moans become more believable once one girl starts finger-fucking the other, but they still seem over the top. They switch positions and the finger-fucked girl gives head in return. This second girl's moans seem more sincere, and the best part is when she's getting finger-fucked and masturbating herself at the same time. Then the fingers are in her ass, as she continues to masturbate. But the constant moans from both girls are still too much. I'd much rather hear them focus on really enjoying themselves than trying to turn the audience on with a show. The audience would be most turned on by sincerity.

Scene 8: Devinn Lane, Lola

Before I can say anything else, I want to ask again (I've brought it up before)... why do women in porn suck and lick dildos, vibrators, and other penis-like objects? I'm not talking about for lubrication before insertion somewhere, nor about one performer tasting the juices of another... but about gratuitous oral action with a plastic dick. This scene opened with a bit of that, and I suspect there will be more. Does it turn them on? Do they think it turns male viewers on? (If it does, I don't know why; I'm not one of them.) Frankly, I find it annoying, maybe because it reminds me that it's all a show, an attempt at manipulation, rather than a girl really enjoying her own sexuality. Do what turns you on, and I'll be turned on, ok?! Don't play for the camera; play for yourself! OK, enough about that.

These two women are in bed, both wearing bras and panties the whole time (which I like). They feel each other up and use vibrators and dildos, as a minute-long music loop plays ad nauseam. Though it sounds strikingly like Billy Idol's version of To Be a Lover (which, if intentional is appropriate and -- I'm sure -- all very legal), it doesn't hold up nearly as well when you hear the same piece over and over... and over! And though the title may be appropriate, the rendition is only barely so; it's not very sexy.

The action doesn't turn me on much, and it's hard to pay attention to it with that droning music. It would have been much better without it, as you could better focus on genuine-sounding moans. Though it lasts only a few seconds, I did enjoy watching one of the girls (sorry; I don't know who is who) squirming around on her back, with a presumably-running vibrator sticking out from between her spread legs, nobody's hand on it.

A pan across the shelf behind the bed reveals a row of packaged and unpackaged sex toys. Judging from the variety, they're in for a long session. My favorite parts involve dildo action, especially when one girl, who's been the dildo fuckee suddenly closes her legs, jumps up, shoves the other girl's head down to the mattress while she's still on her knees (ass in the air) and practically rapes her with the dildo. It's much-needed action, and the girl on the receiving end seems to agree, with a look of pain/passion across her face, and enthusiastic groans. She even assists by masturbating.

Scene 9: Avy Scott, Kinzie Kenner

Another pair of girls making out on a couch, with kissing, boob-groping and sucking, and spanking. Kinzie comments on Avy's boobs, which are nice. While her own look augmented to me, Kinzie's face is quite cute. There's a familiar classical piece playing (Bach's "Air On A G String" if I'm not mistaken... oh, I get it... cute). Besides the name, it's appropriate enough, and doesn't get in the way of the visuals, though it does make some of the relatively light dialogue hard to hear. The action progresses predictably to pussy licking, covering all the bases for those into this stuff. But judging from her constant smiling and exaggerated moans, she may be having fun but I don't believe Kinzie, the lickee, is all that aroused. Avy seems much more into it, when she gets a "hand" from Kinzie, and then a tongue. Then she adds a curved two-headed dildo to the mix, and her moans and facial expressions turn me on.

Avy then takes Kinzie's butt, using a strap-on, the first of the disk, as I recall. Again, Avy seems the more genuinely excited of the two, though Kinzie's reactions now have more energy. Kinzie next works the curved metal dildo several inches inside Avy's ass which, for me, is surprisingly exciting. (Other guys and girls might like it all.) Then another one, with bumps made for vaginal stimulation is inserted there, by Avy, herself, and her subsequent reactions are obviously real -- including telling Kinzie to go a little slower (not a typical instruction from a porn director). Avy's clear passion and natural boobs upstage Kinzie's cute face, leaving me to guess that Avy is into girls as much as I am. And this girl appears to give her an orgasm. In the end (no pun intended -- really) a nice show, ladies.

Scene 10: Serenity, Shayla La Veaux

I've come to expect to be aroused whenever I watch Serenity, and I'm not disappointed here. The scene opens with both girls dressed in skin-tight red pit crew outfits, with Serenity leaning on a race car, legs splayed and boobs exposed, and Shayla kneeling and playing with them. Unfortunately these delectable outfits soon vanish, though at least they leave their sexy boots on. Then Serenity is on her knees, licking and masturbating Shayla, while rubbing her own tool box.

A reasonably fitting jazz-rock track plays (though as usual, quieter would have been nicer, for me) and cars are heard racing past. Soon Serenity is lying on the hood of the car (which is emblazoned with Wicked Racing logos), and holding her legs both wide apart and off the car, as Shayla feasts in between. A longer wide shot and less close up time would have done this sexy pose more justice, but it's just a quibble.

Still on the hood, the girls then enjoy a mutual fill-up with a red jelly dildo. Though this had real erotic potential, their positions look a little too awkward, the performers seem to be tiring, and the music is now getting old. Oh, for a choke to make the moan/music mixture a little richer. (I promise, just a few more racing references and then I'm done.)

It gets better again when Serenity plunges that dildo by hand in and out of Shayla -- six or seven inches in and out, and smooth as a well-lubed piston. But it's back to sharing the dildo between their pussies to end the scene.

Though there were a lot of pleasant things to look at, notably Serenity and her component parts, I could never quite get revved by the action, for long. But I think many people will be able to, if girl-girl stuff is their thing, and they don't mind the music.

Scene 11: Brooke Haven, Demi Delia

Four fake boobs, twenty fake fingernails, fake hair (or at least hair coloring), a giant tattoo, thong bikinis, spit-for-lube, and ridiculous fake moans almost immediately... these ladies don't scream "natural," and this opener is not the best way to warm me. But forging ahead...

Brooke and Demi are sitting at the edge of a very fancy hot tub in what appears to be an atrium. The area is spacious and beautifully appointed, and without exaggeration I can say I'd much rather be looking at it than at these women doing what they're doing. The action: a thrusting vibrator, pussy licking, some toe sucking, asshole fingering, light pussy slapping, masturbating and yawning -- oh, wait, that last one was me.

There is dialogue but it is largely drowned out by the music which, for once, doesn't bother me; I don't care what they're saying. Moreover, the music is pleasant for a while, though it gets annoyingly repetitive later.

To be fair to Demi, whose pussy is later to get attention, her moans seem much more genuine and less for effect than Brooke's did. The best action (though it doesn't last long) is when Brooke is rapidly shoving a vibrator in and out of Demi's pussy. Judging from her reactions, Demi seems to love it, too. Unfortunately, the music at this part is the only selection I disliked. I wish I knew what to call it (if a genre name exists), but I can describe it. It's fast and synthesized, sounding like the intro's and outtro's for commercial breaks on a TV news show, and peppered with rhythmic bursts of "here we go," a male voice which sounds like it was recorded over an old telephone.

Scene 12: April, Nikita Denise, Stormy Daniels

The three girls are sitting around on a couch and chair, in what looks like it could be a corporate lunch room. One asks if another is shy when they talk about sex, alluding to something we missed in this excised scene. She asks, too, if she's ever been with a girl -- yes. Two girls? And so it begins... kissing, licking, pussy eating, masturbating, and all the usual stuff. Gentle, airy music plays during the scene.

Nikita's is the only face I'm sure of, since I googled to see who the beautiful brunette was, partly to aid in writing my review and partly just to know. I enjoyed the part where the girls fuck each other in a vibrator chain, the middle girl both giving and receiving. With one exception (one of the blondes) the boobs look natural, and the sounds they make seem genuine. Nikita's dirty talk is a turn-on, especially with the Czech accent from her home country. While getting double-fucked with vibrators, she drops F-bombs as well as the most accomplished cursers I've known, but that's not what turns me on. It's the passion she obviously feels, and the way she orders the other girls to "spit on it... fuck it... tell me I'm a slut." Ironically this all happens with a musical backdrop which has become more romantic somewhere along the line and, while still pleasant, in this context is now almost humorous.

These last few minutes of the fourteen-minute scene are where all the heat is and, besides N.D., the only reason I gave the scene a positive score.

Scene 13: Maya Divine, Samantha Ryan

In a hazy room, one girl is kneeling to give great head to the other, who is spread-eagle on her desk. She's evidently the head-giver's boss, because she whispers (almost inaudibly), "You want that raise don't you?"

The room is hazy, and the sounds are believable moans and a music track which, though heard in an earlier scene to the point of irritation, is reasonably low in the mix. The action changes to include finger-fucking the boss (whose moans now sound exaggerated) and the music changes and becomes a bit louder and much more urgent. Though the girl giving head is to be commended for her skill and enthusiasm, this action just doesn't turn me on, nor does either performer particularly attract me. The boss says she's going to cum, and maybe the actress does. But if I were betting money, I'd say it was acting because her recovery is too fast; she is able to sit up quickly and talk without being breathless within seconds.

Scene 14: Missy, Serenity

This is a bathroom and shower scene with another unnecessary music track -- essentially piano and synthesized claps to a moderate rhythm. The girls are behind a sliding glass door, revealing that they're spending much more time getting dirty than getting clean. I enjoyed the shot of Serenity's boobs pressed against the glass. The shower itself is as spacious as some bathrooms, and gives Serenity room to sit on a step and spread her legs for Missy's tongue, fingers, and a dildo. Now maybe I'm just envious; maybe people in porn just orgasm at the slightest touch... but her yells during these penetrations seem put on. Her salacious squirms and bounces, however -- even if put on -- are exciting to watch, in much the same way as, say, Shakira's dancing is unapologetically just for show. The point is, it's a good show. Body movement can be sexy no matter what the person is feeling, but moans and yells are exciting when and only when the performer is excited.

Lying half outside the shower now, across the carpeted floor, Missy receives Serenity's attentions between her legs, in the form of tongue, fingers and a long glass dildo. Serenity repeatedly inserts this transparent twat-buster at least six inches, until the scene -- which was just hitting its peak -- abruptly fades to black.

Scene 15: Brandi Wylde, Jessica Drake

In front of huge windows, next to a telescope on a tripod (which later becomes a panty hanger), one fully dressed blonde is bending over to allow another to feel under her skirt and finger-fuck her. The distant lights of a darkened city -- probably Los Angeles or Las Vegas -- fill the windows. They kiss, and switch positions so that the other girl gets her panty crotch rubbed and her pussy licked. The background music is unobtrusive, but a distraction from the action (such as it is) would not be a big deal. The performers don't do it for me, either.

On the plus side, both girls keep their skirts on (just raised as needed) throughout the scene, and one keeps her shirt on. I like this not only because it shows a bit of independent thinking and courage to be different, but probably also hides silicone-inflated boobs. I've often said, anyway, that a partially- or even fully-clothed woman can be far sexier than a naked one. The top-wearing girl receives a dildo fucking from the other, but it fails to excite because of her fake squeals. They switch positions again, and both girls lick the dildo a lot -- big deal.

Except for the shirt missing from one, these two are clones... of blonde hair, plastic boobs and fake squeals. They're icons of the porn I find so boring. But just as I've said that, the topless one starts to orgasm over her dildo-fucking (apparently for real, as she shakes and her toes curl up). It's quite sexy, and the only hot moment in the scene. Without it, I'd have given the scene about half a point.

Scene 16: Devinn Lane, Inari Vachs

This is a dominant (Devinn) and submissive (Inari). Devinn is wearing head to toe black leather, including that very unsexy cap you sometimes see in this realm. Inari is wearing a red plaid skirt, and white bra, gloves, and stockings. The dom teases the sub with a riding crop on her pussy, and then licks her there. Inari looks extremely sexy in her frilly white stockings and black high heels, with her butt in the air and her face to the bed, ready for whatever her mistress has in store for her. Remarkably that seems to be nothing but pleasure, as she licks and then fingers the sub's pussy with a gloved hand.

The shot cuts periodically but briefly to a view--usually overhead--with substantially poorer resolution, color and brightness. It's apparently meant to represent the spying eye of a ceiling-mounted security camera, and that is revealed at the very end of the scene (though it's not explained how this magic camera gets lower angle shots, as well). The music track is unoffensive but, as usual, unnecessary and a bit too forward in the mix. I'd call the style "techno," though I'm no expert on catagorizing music; it's more a series of rhythmic sound effects than something melodious. That's appropriate enough for this non-romantic, non-vanilla interlude.

There's almost no dialogue (at least not that you can hear over the music). Not much moaning, either, but what is heard sounds at least believable, if not real.

Ms. Lane squats over Inari's mouth to be serviced, and while she's working the sub gives us a gratuitous shot of her spread legs in that sexy outfit, with panties pulled aside. Wearing gloves of her own (white ones) she fingers her mistress' pussy, while holding her in place by one of the straps on her leather outfit. Then the submissive receives a glass dildo in her ass. In straight sex scenes, I often object to the actress' feigned moans of pleasure when this is being done to her. But it works in this scene because you can't hear any of that (whether Inari wisely chose not to, or it's just masked by the music). The erotic value is merely in the fact that she is being penetrated by someone over whom she has little control.

It makes less sense later -- though is still erotic -- when the sub turns the invasion on the dominant, wielding a long, strange-looking silver dildo with four squarish bumps of increasing size. One assumes the balance of power hasn't changed; just that the mistress likes this sort of thing, which I find somewhat more credible than its "mass" appeal in straight porn scenes. As she's penetrated, the lady in black is masturbating with her legs in the air. The sub thrusts and rotates, and it's all pretty sexy. In this vertical position, one can also get a better appreciation of Inari's adorable face and pretty, blonde curly hair which comes down to her lovely, natural tits.

The dom gets quite vocal during this action, and her groans are believable based on how they sound and on what's being done to her as she furiously rubs her own pussy.

Scene 17: Johnni Black, Vixxxen

I'm just shaking my head. I know some guys and girls will like scenes like this, but they do nothing for me. As with an earlier scene, I can't get past the double pair of fake boobs, the pile of bleached blonde hair, the fake fingernails and the exaggerated moans. Then there's boring action like the two sucking on a double-headed dildo -- who gets pleasure out of doing that?! It's slightly better when one holds the dildo in her mouth while fucking the other's pussy with it. But why? Once again, it's all about show, not getting themselves off. If this were the only porn available I would never seek it out, and would rely instead on my fantasies, which are much sexier -- and just as real.

Scene 18: Jasmine Lynn, Lola

OK, what's with the tape-covered nipples? I saw it in the earlier dominatrix scene, too, but didn't think it noteworthy until now. Like the leather-clad lady, one of the girls in this scene has two pieces of dark tape (forming an x) across each of her nipples. In this scene, the other girl removes them for licking and sucking purposes, but as casually as if removing a bra. (They seem normal to her.) They kiss, shed their panties and exchange oral services and finger fucking.

Music is playing way in the background -- good -- and both girls' boobs are natural and even small -- refreshing. The main sounds are licking and moaning, and slight dialogue. A fairly thick and extremely long dildo (more like a short snake) is produced, and stuffed into Lola's pussy, though understandably not very far -- "only" six or seven inches. That's about a third the length of this monstrous waste of plastic. But she repeatedly says it feels good, and her face looks sincere.

This scene makes liberal use of close-ups -- too much, in my opinion. I don't need to see half a minute of insertion from six inches away to know what it looks like, or to get turned on. I want to see whole bodies, positions, movements and even surroundings to some extent. (The set decorator would probably appreciate a few seconds of the latter, too.)

The brunette then comes up with a dildo of her own -- a colorful glass one with several deep ridges. Though it's far shorter than the other one, it's nearly as thick, and it's being inserted (slowly) into Jasmine's ass. She drools on it several times (which I could do without) and works it in and out while licking her pussy. Jasmine's reaction is passionate, and as with the earlier dildo insertion I'm almost turned on for the first time in this fourteen minute scene. But also as with the earlier one, it's not enough.

Scene 19: Jill Kelly, Kylie Ireland

Two girls are making out in the back seat of a van or limousine -- kissing, licking each other's fingers, and rubbing all the important parts. The lighting is dim, but sufficient, suggesting a night scene. Soft music plays in the background, but it either gets louder over time, or just becomes more annoying later. As in lots of other porn, the camera operator can't resist doing the "artsy" shots into the mirror and of window reflections, though it adds little to a viewer's enjoyment.

They lose some of the clothing and things progress predictably and naturally. It's too slow for me, though things liven up briefly when, after dribbling something from a glass onto her pussy, one of the girls gives the other a three-finger fuck, with the recipient upside down and spread from window to window. And it warms up still more when a strap-on and a penis-shaped vibrator come out. Both look very realistic, the strap-on even having balls. One girl is spread across the seat "jerking off" her strap-on and telling the other (who is also using the vibrator on her) that she knows she wants to sit on that dick. Unfortunately, there's a lot of dialogue I can't make out, thanks to the overly-loud music. (Directors: why do you even go to the time and expense of recording dialogue if you're going to bury it?!)

She does sit on the strap-on, but inserts it in her ass. On the plus side, her fake moans drown out the droning music for a moment. "Is that cock in your pussy, sweety?, one of them asks." "Yeah." "Wish I had one in mine." Well, duh... put it there! I do like that somebody says, "wish it was real." It's good to know male parts are valued for something in these all-girl scenes.

Scene 20: Felecia, Stormy Daniels

How is it that the annoying slurping sounds of a kiss can so faithfully be recorded and come through my speakers loud and clear, yet potentially-sexy dirty talk (as in the last scene) always seems to get lost behind music? I guess it's because the music generally isn't so obnoxious until later, and kisses often come first. The kissing sounds are just one reminder to me of how slow and boring so much of this girl-girl stuff is, and they make me wish it would move -- or end!

I can appreciate that some viewers want to see romance in their porn -- absolutely -- though when I want to see that, it will be between a guy and a girl; something I can relate to, emotionally. But there comes a point when you're watching scene after scene of it (as a reviewer must) that you just want something exciting to happen -- perhaps a piano to fall on them! Likewise, a viewer sitting down to watch porn isn't always in a "romantic" mood... they sometimes just want to get off. At times like that, viewers will find this scene as tedious as I do. And yes, I've heard girls make these same complaints about some porn. Those viewers who do want girl-girl romance should certainly find this scene fulfilling!

These two are gently, slowly licking and kissing and feeling each other, to the annoying drone of a loud electric piano playing a gentle, slow melody. Does any of this sound familiar!? It does to me. I'd rather watch paint dry than have to sit through another one.

Doing my best to contain my restlessness, I'll also point out that there's a bouquet of flowers, lots of lit candles, and flower petals all over the floor. It's all so romantic...admittedly pleasant to look at... and so dull. Even if it were a girl and a guy, I'd be bored, and I've made it clear that girl-girl is not my thing. Nor are plastic tits, and there's a pair of them here. Often that's enough, by itself, to ruin a scene for me.

The only thing that approaches exciting in this scene is when one of the girls is rapidly rubbing her pussy while the other sits on her face. And it's only the first part of that which turns me on.

Concluding Words: Once again I'm delighted to see "The End" on another Wicked compilation. They use the phrase, "Not just 4 hours, Wicked 4 hours." "Wicked long" sometimes seems more fitting. Four hours is a lot of porn, especially when it's not your thing. I feel I really gave this disk a chance and, to be fair, I did find some of these scenes surprisingly enjoyable to watch. After viewing the first few, I was starting to think I was changing, and developing a taste (pun intended) for girl-girl porn after all. But judging from my reaction (and the absence of a sexual one) to the last few scenes and several others, I've decided that was a fluke. I'm back to being bored by this genre!

They kiss, they rub each other's pussies, they lick everywhere... it's all very predictable and, generally speaking, too gentle for my tastes when I'm in the mood for porn.

Don't get me wrong -- I can look at pretty girls all day, and to a point, the more the better. But what they're doing to each other leaves me unmoved. Frankly I'd rather see a guy with that pretty girl, perhaps because I'm then seeing her enjoy what I have to offer, and because I can relate to what he's feeling.

Also don't get me wrong about hetero-porn. Quite often that, too, is very predictable. And porn of any kind doesn't always have to be fast or hard for me to like it. Female readers might be quick to pigeonhole me as an insensitive and/or typical male who can enjoy only a very limited range of porn. I'm actually quite sensitive, and I wish for a wider range of porn than what we're typically fed. Anyone reading enough of my stuff will see a regular thread of irritation with silicone boobs, ass fucking -- where the female gets relatively little pleasure, fake moans, staged positions and the facial as the only conceivable ending. I'm also bored with thongs and deep tan lines, and would even like to see clothes stay on longer!...see? But enough of this gentle stuff, already! It's a little like foreplay that never ends.

Having said all that, if you're into girl-girl stuff, or in the mood for soft and romantic but want sex, too, there may be a lot here for you to enjoy.