Genre:
Squirting

Cast:
Missy Misfit, Venus, Christie Lee, Madison Monroe, Angela Stone, Nadia Styles, Kody Coxxx, Shayna Knight, Kimberly Kane, Ashley Long

Director:
Axel Braun

Feature Length:
167 mins.

Production Dates:
5/3/04 - 9/30-04

Review:
What... the... fuck.

Apparently the Squirting 101 series stars a gaggle of jackoffs led by award-winning filmmaker Axel Braun, who claims he can make any woman squirt by violently fingering them. His crew tries to learn from the master.

In the opening number, Dr. Philgood fingers Missy Misfit for about 10 violent seconds and she has an orgasm, which elicits cheers of "Oooo yeah!" from Axel Braun behind the camera. The end. Seriously. The pre-scene patter lasted longer. Scene two starts out with Venus getting her armpit licked, and the entire camera crew starts to berate Brother Love, the guy in the scene. Then they coerce Venus to punch him in the balls repeatedly, which she does. This scene is all kinds of fucked up at this point, and with the crew just yammering away in the background and chatting with Venus throughout, why should I take any of this seriously? Eventually she cums, and then swallows the cum of some guy in the crew after a lengthy blowjob.

Christie Lee seems rather disinterested in the third scene, as everyone behind the camera jokes and blathers on and on. Her "boyfriend" Brother Love tries to get her to squirt but can't, so Axel comes in and gets the job done. Then Christie promotes her website. Later we go poolside as she gives a blowjob to Tony T. as her boyfriend looks on. More armpit licking to start scene four (seriously, do more than 3 people in the world have this fetish?) and then Madison Monroe squirts. This is so clinical and cold that no one could be aroused by it.

In scene five, Angela Stone gets her armpits licked by Brother Love and then she squirts twice. He gets a blowjob and punched in the balls repeatedly as a reward. I'm sparing you the play by play of all the nonsense. Nadia Styles is next, and she squirts three times. Again, the reward is a blowjob.

The seventh scene features Kody Coxxx, and is a bit of a departure from the rest of the film because no one's talking. The scene starts out with only the sounds of Kody rubbing and caressing her body. Unfortunately the erotic serenity doesn't last long. Axel makes her squirt.

In the eighth scene of this neverending production, some 300 pound guy tries to get Shayna Knight to squirt. Luckily he fails, and another guy succeeds to get the blowjob reward. Scene nine features Kimberly Kane. Squirt. Blowjob. Ashley Long is the final squirter.

Audio/Video:
It is difficult to really judge this fairly because the whole movie is just one big featurette with cameras and boom mics in the shots and everyone in the house just talking whenever they feel like it. Shots are set up on the fly, and still they're never really set into position.

Extras:
There's a bonus scene from Biggz and the Beauties Vol. 9 featuring Lucy Thai. It runs just over 15 minutes long. You also get a photo gallery, a trailer for Naughty College School Girls #32, and a commercial for the New Sensations website. The DVD cover is also reversible, one not as explicit as the other.

Concluding Words:
I'll admit I wasn't quite prepared for this movie. Despite spirited "performances" by Venus and Nadia Styles, the whole thing seems like one big behind the scenes featurette. There's no structure or consistancy to anything. I can't imagine anyone getting turned on by 10 second scenes or 20 minutes of everyone in the room yammering away and berating the on-screen performers, or armpit licking, or nads punching.

It's great that you and your boys have all this expensive equipment. Don't show it to me on camera, show me hot girls doing erotic things. And shut the fuck up already.

This movie tried as hard as it could to make me hate porn. Skip it.